<<endif>>You are standing in a queue.<<timedinsert 1s>>\n\nYou wait<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 2s>>\n\nand wait.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 3s>>\n\nSeveral people ahead of you are summoned to the booths as numbers are called overhead.<<set $movement to (Math.floor(Math.random() * 4 + 2))>><<set $time += ($movement * Math.ceil(Math.random() * 3))>><<set $serving += 1>><<set $line -= $movement>>\n\n<<if $line < 1>>You are at the front of the queue. An LED sign over one of the booths reads, "Next in line."\n\nReady?\n[[Go on over|booth]]\n[[Never mind, leave the queue|waiting area][$time += 1]]<<else>>You're not at the front of the queue yet. There's still <<print $line>> people still ahead of you.\n\n[[Keep waiting|queue]]\n[[Leave the queue|waiting area][$time += 1]]<<endif>><<endtimedinsert>>
<<if (Math.random() * 4) < 1>><<set $serving += 1>>\n\nA distorted voice crackles through loudspeaker panels in the ceiling. "Now serving number <<$serving>>." <<endif>><<if (Math.random() * 5) < 1>>\n\n<<print either("Someone coughs.","Someone clears their throat loudly.","Someone in the queue jostles someone else and apologizes quietly.","Snippets of murmured conversation blend together in the quiet room.")>><<endif>>
Undo: off\nBookmark: off\nObfuscate: on\nObfuscateKey: ptaeiyhwudjqvrskfzxolgbncm\njQuery: off\nModernizr: off\n
You are standing in a waiting room.<<timedinsert 1s>>\n\nThere are several dozen people waiting here on the room's hard plastic [[chairs]]. Most look somber, frightened, or bored. All ignore you. <<if $time > 0>>Checking a clock on the wall, you see that you have been here for <<$time>> minutes.<<endif>>\n\nAt the far end of the room, a [[queue][$line = (Math.floor(Math.random() * 6) + 4)]] of somber-faced people slowly cycles toward an array of booths.<<if $form is true>>\n\nYou are holding an [[afterlife registration form|Afterlife Registration Form][$time += 1]].<<endif>><<if $number > 0>>\n\nYou are holding a slip with the number <<$number>> on it.<<endif>><<ambient>><<endtimedinsert>>
<<set $time += 1>>You are sitting in a chair. There are others waiting nearby, but they all ignore you.<<ambient>>\n\nYou check the clock. Looks like you've been here for <<$time>> minutes.\n\n[[Keep waiting|chairs]]\n[[Get up|waiting area]]
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Your name is printed at the top of the form. Below that are a series of fields.\n\n<<revise gender "Gender:">> <<cycle gender>>//blank//<<set $gender to "">><<becomes>>male<<set $gender to "male">><<becomes>>female<<set $gender to "female">><<becomes>>other<<set $gender to "other">><<endcycle>>\n\n<<revise religion "Religion:">> <<cycle religion>>//blank//<<set $religion to "">><<becomes>>monotheist<<set $religion to "monotheist">><<becomes>>polytheist<<set $religion to "polytheist">><<becomes>>atheist<<set $religion to "atheist">><<becomes>>other<<set $religion to "other">><<endcycle>>\n\n<<revise cause "Cause of Death:">> <<cycle cause>>//blank//<<set $cause to "">><<becomes>>car accident<<set $cause to "car accident">><<becomes>>murder<<set $cause to "murder">><<becomes>>unknown<<set $cause to "unknown">><<endcycle>>\n\n<<revise morality "Moral Self-Assessment:">> <<cycle morality>>//blank//<<set $morality to "">><<becomes>>good<<set $morality to "good">><<becomes>>flawed<<set $morality to "flawed">><<becomes>>bad<<set $morality to "bad">><<becomes>>not sure<<set $morality to "not sure">><<endcycle>>\n\n<<revise destination "Requested Destination:">> <<cycle destination>>//blank//<<set $request to "">><<becomes>>reincarnation<<set $request to "reincarnation">><<becomes>>heaven<<set $request to "heaven">><<becomes>>oblivion<<set $request to "oblivion">><<becomes>>no preference<<set $request to "no preference">><<endcycle>>\n\n[[I certify that I have completed this form to the best of my ability.|waiting area]]
<<set $serving to 112>><<set $line to 0>>Headlights in the dark. The sound of screeching tires. White light, dazzling.\n\nThe feeling of floating in a white void.\n\nThen, the awareness of your feet, and something under them. Sight, fading in from a blur.\n\na clean white hallway\n\nwith a <<insert "door">>\n\nwhich you walk up to<<timedinsert 1s>>\n\nand [[enter|waiting area][$time to 0]]<<endtimedinsert>><<endinsert>>
<<if $form is true>>You appreach the hooded figure behind one of the booths. \n\n"Form please," the figure says, holding out a bony hand. You could swear this was the same one you talked to last time, though this is a different booth.\n\nYou hand over the form. The hooded figure scans it with faintly glowing eyes.<<if $gender and $religion and $cause and $morality and $request>><<set $number to ($serving + (Math.floor(Math.random() * 7 + 3)))>><<set $form to false>> They tap on their keyboard for a minute or so, then hand you a slip with the number <<$number>> on it.\n\n"We'll call your number once this form is reviewed. Come back then."\n\nYou take the slip and walk back to the [[waiting area]].<<else>>\n\nThey sigh and put the form back on the counter. "You have to fill out all of the fields. Do that and come back."\n\nYou take the form and walk back to the [[waiting area]].<<endif>><<else>><<if $number > 0>>You hold out your number slip. The hooded figure<<if $serving > $number>> takes it and points toward a door you hadn't noticed until now.\n\n"Go on through there."\n\n[[You do.|Destiny]]<<else>>, annoyed, snaps: "We haven't called your number yet. Sit down and wait."\n\n[[You do so.|waiting area]]<<endif>><<else>>You approach the booth counter. Behind it, a hooded figure regards you with scarcely-visible eyes.\n\n"Name?" the hooded figure asks in a voice considerably less ominous and more bored than you anticipated.\n\nYou <<insert "tell them.">>\n\nThey tap on a computer keyboard with bony fingers. "Mm-hmm, ok," they say. They open a drawer and retrieve a form, which they place on the desk and slide toward you. "Fill this out and bring it back."\n\nYou take the form and [[get up|waiting area][$form = true]].<<endinsert>><<endif>><<endif>>
Mortal Queue<<set document.title = "Mortal Queue">>
Colin Sandel
<<nobr>>\n<<if $religion is "monotheist">>\n <<if $morality is "good" or $morality is "flawed">>\n <<set $fate to "heaven">>\n <<else>>\n <<if $morality is "not sure">>\n <<set $fate to "purgatory">>\n <<else>>\n <<set $fate to "hell">>\n <<endif>>\n <<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $religion is "polytheist">><<set $fate to either("reincarnation","purgatory")>><<endif>>\n<<if $religion is "atheist">><<set $fate to "oblivion">><<endif>>\n<<if $religion is "other">><<set $fate to either("reincarnation","oblivion","purgatory")>><<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>
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You walk into a room bare of adornment, save for a desk with a chair on either side. Across from you, yet another hooded figure gestures for you to sit in the free chair. You do.\n\nThe figure picks up a piece of paper, glances at it, then looks at you.<<nobr>>\n<<if $request is "reincarnation">>\n <<if $religion is "monotheist" or $religion is "atheist">>\n <<distro>>\n <<else>>\n <<set $fate to "reincarnation">>\n <<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $request is "heaven">>\n <<if $religion is "polytheist" and $morality is "good">>\n <<set $fate to "heaven">>\n <<else>>\n <<distro>>\n <<endif>>\n<<else>>\n <<distro>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $request is "oblivion">>\n <<distro>>\n<<endif>><<endnobr>>\n\nThe figure speaks: "<<if $request is "no preference">><<distro>><<else>><<if $request is $fate>>Congratulations, your application has been approved. <<else>>We regret to inform you that your application has been denied. <<endif>><<endif>> Your final destination will be <<$fate>>."<<timedinsert 2s>>\n\nThe desk, chair, and room all fall away, and you feel your body dissipate ...<<endtimedinsert>>