Saves\n\n(function(){var hasPushState=(typeof window.history.pushState=="function");\nHistory.prototype.display=function(d,b,a){var c=tale.get(d);if(a!="back"){this.history.unshift({passage:c,variables:clone(this.history[0].variables)});\nthis.history[0].hash=this.save();if(hasPushState&&this.history){if(this.history.length==2&&window.history.state===null){window.history.replaceState(this.history,document.title)\n}else{window.history.pushState(this.history,document.title)}}}this.history[0].hash=this.save();\nvar e=c.render();e.style.visibility="visible";if(a!="offscreen"){var p=$("passages");\nfor(var j=0;j<p.childNodes.length;j+=1){var q=p.childNodes[j];\nq.classList.add("transition-out");setTimeout(function(){if(q.parentNode){q.parentNode.removeChild(q)\n}},1000)}e.classList.add("transition-in");setTimeout(function(){e.classList.remove("transition-in")\n},1);p.appendChild(e)}if((a=="quietly")||(a=="offscreen")){e.style.visibility="visible"\n}if(a!="offscreen"){document.title=tale.title+": "+c.title;this.hash=this.save();\nif(!hasPushState){window.location.hash=this.hash}window.scroll(0,0)\n}return e};History.prototype.restart=function(){if(hasPushState){window.location.reload()\n}else{window.location.hash=""}};macros["return"]=macros.back={handler:function(a,b,e){var el,d="";\nvar steps=1;if(e[0]){if(e[1]=="steps"){if(isNaN(e[0])){throwError(a,"parameter before 'steps' must be a number.");\nreturn}else{if(e[0]<state.history.length){d=state.history[e[0]].passage.title;\nsteps=e[0]}}}else{if(tale.get(e[0]).id==undefined){throwError(a,"The "+e[0]+" passage does not exist");\nreturn}for(var c=0;c<state.history.length;c++){if(state.history[c].passage.title==e[0]){d=e[0];\nsteps=c;break}}}}else{d=state.history[1].passage.title}if(!d){return\n}else{el=document.createElement("a");el.className="return";el.onclick=function(){if(b=="back"){if(hasPushState){window.history.back();\nreturn}while(steps>=0){if(state.history.length>1){state.history.shift()\n}steps--}}state.display(d)};el.href="javascript:void(0)";el.innerHTML="<b>«</b> "+b[0].toUpperCase()+b.slice(1);\na.appendChild(el)}}};Interface.buildSnapback=function(){var c=false;\nremoveChildren(document.getElementById("snapbackMenu"));for(var a=state.history.length-1;\na>=0;a--){if(state.history[a].passage&&state.history[a].passage.tags.indexOf("bookmark")!=-1){var b=document.createElement("div");\nb.pos=a;b.onclick=function(){var p=this.pos;var n=state.history[p].passage.title;\nwindow.history.go(-(p+1));while(p>=0){if(state.history.length>1){state.history.shift()\n}p--}state.display(n)};b.innerHTML=Passage.prototype.excerpt.call(state.history[a].passage);\ndocument.getElementById("snapbackMenu").appendChild(b);c=true\n}}if(!c){var b=document.createElement("div");b.innerHTML="<i>No passages available</i>";\ndocument.getElementById("snapbackMenu").appendChild(b)}};History.prototype.init=function(){if(!this.restore()){this.display("Start",null)\n}if(!hasPushState){this.hash=window.location.hash;this.interval=window.setInterval(function(){a.watchHash.apply(a)\n},250)}};window.onpopstate=function(e){if(e.state===null){return\n}if(e.state&&e.state.length>0){state.history=e.state}else{state=new History();\nstate.init()}state.display(state.history[0].passage.title,null,"back")\n};if(hasPushState&&state&&state.interval){clearInterval(state.interval)\n}}());\n\n\n\nElseif\n\nversion.extensions.ifMacros={major:2,minor:0,revision:0};macros["if"]={handler:function(place,macroName,params,parser){\nvar conditions=[],clauses=[],srcOffset=parser.source.indexOf(">>",parser.matchStart)+2,src=parser.source.slice(srcOffset),endPos=-1,currentCond=parser.fullArgs(),currentClause="",t=0,nesting=0;\nfor(var i=0;i<src.length;i++){if(src.substr(i,9)=="<<endif>>"){nesting--;if(nesting<0){endPos=srcOffset+i+9;\nconditions.push(currentCond);clauses.push(currentClause);break;}}if((src.substr(i,6)=="<<else")&&nesting==0){conditions.push(currentCond);\nclauses.push(currentClause);currentClause="";t=src.indexOf(">>",i+6);if(src.substr(i+6,4)==" if "){currentCond=Wikifier.parse(src.slice(i+10,t));\n}else{currentCond="true";}i=t+2;}if(src.substr(i,5)=="<<if "){nesting++;}currentClause+=src.charAt(i);\n}try{if(endPos!=-1){parser.nextMatch=endPos;for(i=0;i<clauses.length;i++){if(eval(conditions.shift())){new Wikifier(place,clauses[i ].trim());\nbreak;}}}else{throwError(place,"can't find matching endif");}}catch(e){throwError(place,"bad condition: "+e.message);\n}}};\n
You have heard the "nice ass" comment enough that you suppose it's true. You worry that it curves too much, sticks out too far, and you don't like the things it could imply about your gender. You frequently feel uncomfortable about it and intentionally wear ill-fitting clothing to try to hide it from prying eyes.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $butt = 2>>
You feel the shaved sides of your head, running your hand along the stubble to the nape of your neck where you fidget with small tufts of errant hair. You move your hand to the top of your head and run it through the long wavy locks that shimmer hues of pink, red and purple. The tangled mess falls through your hands and covers part of your face.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $head = 2>>
You have small feet with small toes that walk lightly. The soles are rough and calloused from hours of walking and from walking barefoot. They are frequently sore, sometimes in-turned and awkward. The inner parts of your heels are adorned with small matching black stars and the tops of your feet are adorned with faint raised pink scars, an afterthought of the massacre to your calves.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $feet = 2>>
\n<html><img src="http://i1363.photobucket.com/albums/r710/eqgrover/mirrormi_zpsb66f65fb.png" width="450" height="400" alt="Body" usemap="#bodymap">\n<map name="bodymap">\n<area shape="rect" coords="0,0,450,400" alt="Look" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['TrueStart'] = 'Look';state.display('TrueStart', this);undefined">\n\n</map></html>\n\n<<silently>>\n<<set $mouth = 1>>\n<<set $eyes = 1>>\n<<set $nose = 1>>\n<<set $head = 1>>\n<<set $chin = 1>>\n<<set $neck = 1>>\n<<set $chest = 1>>\n<<set $stomach = 1>>\n<<set $bits = 1>>\n<<set $thighs = 1>>\n<<set $calves= 1>>\n<<set $feet = 1>>\n<<set $uparms = 1>>\n<<set $forearm = 1>>\n<<set $hands = 1>>\n<<set $upback = 1>>\n<<set $lwback = 1>>\n<<set $butt = 1>>\n<<endsilently>>
Your jaw line is round but angular, you have a strong small chin that is studded with small black hairs. Your jaw sprouts a faint fuzz. It's something.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $chin = 2>>
Some days it's a trickle, some days it's a dam breaking.\n\nDysphoria is a deafening static, an endless drone. At times it can be louder than anything else going on in your life, and those times are the hardest times to cope.\n\nThis is the way I view myself and the way I interact with dysphoria and my body. There are so many ways it makes me hate my body and as a result myself, but sometimes I need the reminders to myself that there are many parts of me that I like too and that my body is always changing and there will be days when I'll feel okay.\n
.passage[data-tags~=small] {\n font-size: 400%;\n}\n.passage[data-tags~=normal] {\n font-size: 475%;\n}\n.passage[data-tags~=end] {\n font-size: 250%;\n}
Your forearms are non-descript save for your skinny wrists and empty flesh you would rather be coloured by ink.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $forearm = 2>>
Your chest is somewhat large at times. Exhibiting above average fatty deposits it creates mountains of shame. Your peripherals deceive you in the notion that there should be plains in its place, a flatness that cannot be rivalled. This discordant geography creates storms. Your chest is a grey cloud, stormy and angry and forever demanding your attention. The static from the storm is deafening. \n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $chest = 2>>
MirrorMirror\n
In reality there is a small forest of unruly brown hair covering folds of flesh that are a semi-functional erogenous zone but reality escapes you, here there is nothing. A void. You cannot even process what is there on most days and even when you can you don't want to, you don't know what should be there and the uncertainty is terrifying. \n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $bits = 2>>
Your nose juts out of your face, somewhat large and bulbous, and ever slightly upturned. It has metal hanging from the left nostril, there used to be more and it has flesh to fill with holes.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n\n<<set $nose = 2>>\n
You eyes are steely blue; sometimes like the sky they turn grey. Your eyes curve and are wide and small and signify nothing. Your eyelashes are long and dark, but not too long, don't you worry.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $eyes = 2>>
Your stomach is round and sticks out, a gut as it were. It grows and swells with diet and with water loss and retention. It is a mark of pride in the shapes that bodies can be but also it holds the uncomfortable weight of wide hips and what those imply.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $stomach = 2>>
[img[http://i1363.photobucket.com/albums/r710/eqgrover/Mirror_zpsb0e6a48c.gif]]\n<<silently>>\n<<timedgoto "Exeunt" 15s>>\n<<endsilently>>
Your lips are small and rosy and look too skittish and timid. They are weak and often betray you.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $mouth = 2>>
<html><img src="http://i1363.photobucket.com/albums/r710/eqgrover/DYSPH_zpsd6a5c7e8.png" width="375" height="563" alt="Body" usemap="#bodymap">\n\n\n<map name="bodymap">\n\n <area shape="rect" coords="90,100,100,110" alt="Mouth" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['mouth'] = 'Mouth';state.display('mouth', this);undefined">\n\n <area shape="rect" coords="100,70,115,80" alt="Eyes" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['eyes'] = 'Eyes';state.display('eyes', this);undefined">\n\n <area shape="rect" coords="90,70,100,95" alt="Nose" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['nose'] = 'Nose';state.display('nose', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="65,30,130,60" alt="Head" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['head'] = 'Head';state.display('head', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="230,40,285,115" alt="Head" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['head'] = 'Head';state.display('head', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="80,110,110,120" alt="Chin" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['chin'] = 'Chin';state.display('chin', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="125,70,135,90" alt="Ears" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['ears'] = 'Ears';state.display('ears', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="55,70,70,90" alt="Ears" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['ears'] = 'Ears';state.display('ears', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="85,125,110,145" alt="Neck" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['neck'] = 'Neck';state.display('neck', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="245,115,270,135" alt="Neck" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['neck'] = 'Neck';state.display('neck', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="70,165,135,255" alt="Chest" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['chest'] = 'Chest';state.display('chest', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="70,255,130,295" alt="Stomach" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['stomach'] = 'Stomach';state.display('stomach', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="70,295,130,325" alt="Bits" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['bits'] = 'Bits';state.display('bits', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="70,325,130,385" alt="Thighs" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['thighs'] = 'Thighs';state.display('thighs', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="220,325,285,385" alt="Thighs" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['thighs'] = 'Thighs';state.display('thighs', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="70,385,130,465" alt="Calves" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['calves'] = 'Calves';state.display('calves', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="220,385,280,465" alt="Calves" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['calves'] = 'Calves';state.display('calves', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="60,465,140,530" alt="Feet" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['feet'] = 'Feet';state.display('feet', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="205,465,295,530" alt="Feet" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['feet'] = 'Feet';state.display('feet', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="40,175,65,265" alt="Upper Arms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['uparms'] = 'Upper Arms';state.display('uparms', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="135,175,160,265" alt="Upper Arms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['uparms'] = 'Upper Arms';state.display('uparms', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="195,175,220,265" alt="Upper Arms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['uparms'] = 'Upper Arms';state.display('uparms', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="290,175,310,265" alt="Upper Arms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['uparms'] = 'Upper Arms';state.display('uparms', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="45,265,60,325" alt="Forearms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['forearm'] = 'Forearms';state.display('forearm', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="135,265,155,325" alt="Forearms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['forearm'] = 'Forearms';state.display('forearm', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="195,265,210,325" alt="Forearms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['forearm'] = 'Forearms';state.display('forearm', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="285,265,310,325" alt="Forearms" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['forearm'] = 'Forearms';state.display('forearm', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="220,155,285,240" alt="Upper Back" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['upback'] = 'Upper Back';state.display('upback', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="220,240,285,290" alt="Lower Back" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['lwback'] = 'Lower Back';state.display('lwback', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="220,290,285,325" alt="Butt" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['butt'] = 'Butt';state.display('butt', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="35,325,60,385" alt="Hands" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['hands'] = 'Hands';state.display('hands', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="135,325,160,385" alt="Hands" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['hands'] = 'Hands';state.display('hands', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="190,325,220,385" alt="Hands" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['hands'] = 'Hands';state.display('hands', this);undefined">\n\n<area shape="rect" coords="285,325,315,385" alt="Hands" href="javascript:state.history[0].variables['hands'] = 'Hands';state.display('hands', this);undefined">\n\n</map></html>\n\n\n<<if $mouth eq 2 && $eyes eq 2 && $nose eq 2 && $head eq 2 && $butt eq 2 && $hands eq 2 && $lwback eq 2 && $upback eq 2 && $forearm eq 2 && $uparms eq 2 && $feet eq 2 && $calves eq 2 && $thighs eq 2 && $bits eq 2 && $stomach eq 2 && $chest eq 2 && $neck eq 2 >><<goto "Success">><<endif>> \n
Your hands are small, so very small and dainty. Your fingers are long and your fingernails follow suit. You are not too fond of your hands but they are reliable and skilled tools, so you forgive them.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $hands = 2>>
Your arms have small bulges of muscle that move and grow in motion, you enjoy the sight of the muscle and sometimes flex the muscles just to excite yourself at their presence. Your left arm bares the striking view of a colourful owl, they are delighted companion and a much loved variation of your flesh, they deserve some new friends.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $uparms = 2>>
head {\n box-shadow: inset 0px 0px 30em #bbb;\n width:100%;\n height:100%;\n display:block;\n position:fixed;\n}\nhead * {\n display:none;\n}\nbody {\n background-color:#fff;\n margin: 0;\n text-align:center;\n}\n#passages {\n border-left: 0;\n margin: 0;\n padding: 0;\n line-height:100vh;\n}\n.passage {\n position:absolute;\n top: 0; bottom: 0; left: 0; right: 0;\n width: 75%;\n height: 75%;\n margin:auto;\n font: bold 6em/1.25em Helvetica, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, sans-serif;\n color: #000;\n letter-spacing: -0.05em;\n text-align:center;\n}\n#sidebar {\n display:table;\n position:fixed;\n top: 0; left: 0;\n width:100%;\n height:100%;\n}\n#sidebar #title {\n display:none;\n}\n#sidebar #title #storyTitle {\n dislay:none;\n}\n#title :not(#storyTitle){\n display:none;\n}\n#storymenu, #snapback, #restart, #share, #credits {\n display:none;\n}\na.internalLink:hover, a.externalLink:hover {\n color:#de0000 !important;\n text-decoration: none;\n}\na.internalLink:nth-child(3n), a.externalLink:nth-child(3n) {\n color: #666;\n}\na.internalLink:nth-child(3n+1), a.externalLink:nth-child(3n+1) {\n color: #777;\n}\na.internalLink:nth-child(3n+2), a.externalLink:nth-child(3n+2) {\n color: #888;\n}\n@media screen and (max-width: 960px) {\n body { font-size: 50%; }\n}\n@media screen and (max-width: 840px) {\n body { font-size: 40%; }\n}\n@media screen and (max-width: 720px) {\n body { \n font-size: 30%;\n }\n}\n
You have strong shoulders and the muscles show in the mechanic movements of your shoulder blades. This is extremely satisfying and you love the shapes of the muscle and the way they move. Each shoulder blade is adorned with a black outline of a star, an excited punctuation to the muscles of your back.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $upback = 2>>
Your calves are pure muscle and covered in a lush carpet of hair that is slowly grower longer and getting darker, starting only at the ankles. The hair is soft and feels nice against skin and in breezes. The lower parts of your calves and ankle are covered in the small raised flesh ridges of self-harm, they are a year old and serve as a point of pride and a painful reminder. On the worst days they beckon for companions.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $calves = 2>>
Your neck is thin and somewhat long, it melts into your thin small shoulders so seamlessly and ends with in a bittersweet goodbye punctuated by collarbones.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $neck = 2>>
version.extensions.timedgotoMacro={major:1,minor:2,revision:0};\nmacros["goto"]=macros.timedgoto={timer:null,handler:function(a,b,c,d){function cssTimeUnit(s){if(typeof s=="string"){if(s.slice(-2).toLowerCase()=="ms"){return +(s.slice(0,-2))||0\n}else{if(s.slice(-1).toLowerCase()=="s"){return +(s.slice(0,-1))*1000||0\n}}}throwError(a,s+" isn't a CSS time unit");return 0}var t,d,m,s;\nt=c[c.length-1];d=d.fullArgs();m=0;if(b!="goto"){d=d.slice(0,d.lastIndexOf(t));\nm=cssTimeUnit(t)}d=eval(Wikifier.parse(d));if(d+""&&state&&state.init){if(macros["goto"].timer){clearTimeout(macros["goto"].timer)\n}s=state.history[0].passage.title;macros["goto"].timer=setTimeout(function(){if(state.history[0].passage.title==s){state.display(d,a)\n}},m)}}};
You have large thighs, fat collects here and it shows. Your thighs are dimpled with freckles and the hints of cellulite. They move shapely down towards knobby knees that are adorned with matching black stars. \n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $thighs = 2>>
Not much to be seen and not much that you can see anyhow. A tattoo from your teen years that you sometimes half-regret and fat deposits that spill out of the tops of pants that fit too tight.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n<<set $lwback= 2>>
(function(){ var render2 = Passage.prototype.render; Passage.prototype.render = function () { var b = render2.call(this); var t = this.tags.join(" "); document.body.setAttribute("data-tags", t); b.setAttribute("data-tags",t); return b; }; if(state) { var tgs = state.history[0].passage.tags.join(" "); var fc = $('passages').firstChild; fc.setAttribute("data-tags",tgs); }}());
Your ears are small and asymmetrical, the left one holding a sharp point to the sky, the right in possession of a metal bar in its folds of flesh. They have common ground in the gaping holes in their lobes, adorned with woods and metals at times left bare and hanging. The holes are a permanent act of your defiance and foolishness.\n\n[[back|TrueStart]]\n