Stroll Auld Reekie's hidden corners in the 100% guaranteed pristinely-smelling virtual shoes of the Tell Tale universe inhabitants. Explore, Enjoy and Experience destinations like never before by trodding down facts and fiction… Step in to the shoes of Locals, Tourists and everything in-between!
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[[Phd-to-be_90 or Lunch with the Dead Dudes]]- Can't believe I had to rise before noon to suffer the Prohibition in the ''National book-grave '' edition …
- To think the Library nearly wasn`t. To take them 18 years to build it and still apparently they didn’t have the time for basic waterproofing features or liquid cataclysm-prevention… Time to lunch with the dead dudes …
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[[Elephant House]]- If only the Occupy-Potterers didn’t practically devour the sidewalk of Elephant House 24/7,… Don’t care what Will says. Am not skulking 20 min to sneak a contraband selfie in the fan-decorated toilet.
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[[Greyfriars Bobby]]
- Legendary student bonus – not having 40% of your council tax dedicated to whipping and polishing a certain's, monumentally compact, canine's tourist-abused nose. How people even conceive to pay taxes with such costly scenic-rhinoplasty in mind is a total mystery…
- Wish I could keep a pet at the rental… If any place would have laxer rules, you would think it would be the city that gave Bobby the Skye Terrier its Gate keys for guarding his watchman's of a master's grave for 14 years. If one's to trust the likeness of the statue, the lil chump was kinda cute, which, in my humble opinion was partially to thank for the city collectively taking care of the buddy. Even in the 1800's they knew better than to begrudge a true bro, whatever species specs his dog tags red …
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- Let's leave ol' Bob K-9 to his admirers, 10 easy steps downturn and its blessed sustenance time. Yay…
- What better than lunch with a lively bunch of likeminded individuals with killer humour-sense and even better manners? …
[[The Dead Dudes Lunch Club]]
[[Yankee Frontiers or Vivienne Wilson Vintage-Bus-Tours to the National Museum of Scotland]]- Not being scrutinised by the scrumdgeony caretaker, perhaps. Honestly, can't a perfectly respect-inspiring budding intellectual on a budget enjoy the cosy rec grounds without troublemaking on the mind?
- Not like he has one of those usual suspect mugs either. His post-3 hours-Internet-browsing, 2 hours-semi-solid-research-work-done, look was nearly put together, thank you very much old man …
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[[Caretaking for the Dead 101 with Dan Stone]]- Of-course a nauseatingly upbeat tourist guide will take it upon themselves to disrupt the recreational ambiance with anecdotal fantasies from the passing Vintage Tours double decker.
- Wanna know bout the city, Eh? Well good luck with the masterminds behind the nose-demolishing spiels. Guides – the most suspicious bunch you could be confronted with. Wherever that bus is bounded…
[[Vivienne Yankees the tour out of the National Museum]]- Squinty eyes bunch up as nose scrunches … Humph, elderly Dan Stone sounded out.
- The regular hippy was squatting the freshly cut grass of the plot 19 tree again. What is it with lazy youths these days to invariably perch upon every spare space in Edinburgh's most notable Greyfriars Kirkyard cemetery, to stuff their mouths full, of all things … I had heard something of recent annoying fad on morbid monster Hollywood stories, but this was just something else … Rascals, all of them…
- As if the constant tourist droves were not enough, at least my facial muscles didn’t have to render smile approximations to this ever irritating abundance of self-absorbed types.
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[[Burke and Hare to the rescue]]Pity, Hare and Burke were seemingly the only ones not currently visiting my corner of the Old Town. For once, I am open to beyond the grave actual not-just-tourist-tales apparitions.
They would have so many readily available squishy resources for body snatching these days, much better than the early 19th century. And the city was still renowned for the Medical schools research.
It would kill three birds with one stone, cause my upkeep job would for sure be easier then …
Eh, dreams …
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[[The Resurrection Men]]- Mind you, not that I wanted the ''Resurrection Men'' active again, as annoying as it was to daily clean after tourists and school children, trying to raise the dead with their clamouring in the sun, rain and wind, it is still miles better than nightly vigils to safe keep every single grave against entrepreneurial anatomy thieves.
- It was good to enjoy modern medicine, thinking too hard how many poor people were dug up to wind under the beady eyes of all the city's med academics and their students, not so much. Not the wealthy of course.
They got heavy duty Mortsafes installed, and centuries later I have to upkeep these grave protection contraptions, too.
I am sure just as many tourists would selfie with them even if the metal was half eroded.
Was that even metal? ...
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[[Burke and Hare: the sequel]]
- Burke and Hare probably wouldn’t help that much though, after all they killed those pitiful 16 souls in murky streets, no cold ground digging for them mind you. So they most likely didn’t frequent the cemetery as favourite hunting ground …
- That obvious and they may have been caught sooner. Before Hare post-arrest turned on Burke about their bodies for money deal with Dr. Knox and got Burke hanged, publically dissected, donated as Edinburgh Museum artefact and skin made into wallets and business card holders.
- Were the times then more morbid, or was the present more violent. I personally am starting to think things are eerily and amorally the same.
[[Yankee Frontiers or Vivienne Wilson Vintage-Bus-Tours to the National Museum of Scotland]] Next thing on the agenda: National Museum of Scotland. Apparently it’s been redone fairly recently. I hope everything’s covered in tartan!!
[[Run over Left and Right]]Crap! Almost got run over by a car. I keep forgetting they drive on the left in Edinburgh. Is it EdinbUrgh or EdinbrAh, anyway? EdinbArgh, maybe?
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[[Entrance Door Musings]]
No admission fee, boom! I’ll leave the gift shop for later. Disappointed it’s so small. Where’s all the tartan?
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[[The Great Scottish Search]]OMG this is amazing. It’s like a palace. Or a factory. Or a hospital. Still, were are all the Scottish things?
[[Nessie Confused]]So, I went to the National Museum of Scotland and found a camel. Maybe they have camels in the Highlands? Maybe the Loch Ness Monster was, in fact, a camel?? I’m confused…
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