Ha, false alarm, everyone is where they should be, doing what they should be doing.\nUnlike you.\nSlacker.\nLoser.\nYour intercom rings, someone must have noticed your poor performance.\n[[1. I get back to work and ignore it|ignorestory]]\n[[2. I answer it|story4]]

Alright, so you are sitting at your desk, working when you notice that there is no one there -\n[[1. Are you just ripping of The Stanley Parable|stanleyp]]\n[[2. Ok, what happens next|story3]]

Really? are you sure, I mean.. there are so many other things we can do.\n[[1. Yes, please let's do a story|story2]]\n[[2. Oh my fucking god, get on with it|story2]]\n[[3. I thought about those things, this story is what I want|story2]]\n[[4. No, you are right, I need to think about if I want to do the thing I said I wanted to do|story2prelude]]

I.. I don't know, that is... Are you sure?\nYou should think about that a bit.\nOr don't, but I'm putting you in a time-out for saying that.

Congratuations!\nYou won by ruling the world and forcing the creator to create a victory ending for you!\nTHE END\n[[1. My victory feels hollow, I wonder how else it could have been?|Start]]

No.. or [[Yes|Yes]]\n\n[[1. I refuse to click yes, I disagree with that sentiment! This is bullshit! you can't just shove words down my throat!|Yes]]

Let's play a game.\nIt's simple really, I tell you a story, you make choices, I continue telling the story until it ends or you go away.\n\n[[1. That is bullshit and unrealistic! Games are about realism and choices!|realism]]\n[[2. What if I just leave?|leave]]\n[[3. Can I be Batman?|batman]]\n[[4. Okay, let's do this!|story1]]\n[[5. I don't think this is a great idea|sorry]]

Someone, but not, you know.. you, someone special.\n[[1. Oh, okay|okay]]\n[[2. Who is this special person|special]]\n[[3. Wow, that's kind of shitty, I'm special|rude]]

I don't have a special person in mind, you know?\nIt's terrible to think that they would be like some sort of combination of my ex's but who loves me, and without the parts that didn't work out. I think it's terrible and true, as I want to like whoever it is for them, and not out of some mixture of nostalgia for past moments in romance.\nI mean, every person I kiss is different, and every first date is unique, so I don't think my love will be some sort of Patchwork of my various pasts.\n\nI don't even like to talk about what I do like, since it's all the most boring and stereotypical bullshit possible.\nI mean, of course they would be a feminist, and be for equality, and have some vague goals about life, and be open to new things, but also enjoy hanging around and playing games and enjoy comics. Those aren't really what a person is like, as there are plenty of people who fit that description that I DO NOT GET ALONG WITH.\n\nIt's all in the ways people react to each other, you never know until you communicate.\n\n[[1. I'm not sure if that was insightful or bullshit, but can I uh.. just do the story, this is not what I wanted|Start]]

Look, okay.. I'm sorry.\nI love Batman too.\nThe character brings out the best in everyone.\nI grew up watching Batman: The Animated Series. When I imagine what a hero looks like, I see that version of Batman, when I imagine how a hero sounds, I hear that Kevin Conroy voice. I've been reading Batman comics most of my life, I loved The Dark Knight Returns, I love Grant Morrison's run on Batman, I like Scott Snyder's current run, I like a lot of the older stuff I come across.\nBut.\nBatman has some issues, namely in that he has a dumb concept of crime and criminals, as the thing that leads MANY to crime is the desire for income and very limited legitimate methods of obtaining income, so crime is an option. There are even fewer options for former criminals, who also tend to have more capability to commit crime after serving time. If Batman wanted to help, he would focus more on creating more legitimate options to support people before they turn to crime or to quit from relapsing, that is the real battle.\nOf course, The Joker would still be out there, because he doesn't commit crimes for the sake of wealth, but for the sake of hurting others, same with most of the enduring foes of Batman.\n\n[[1. Huh, I'm interested to see what you have to say about Miley Cyrus|miley1]]

INDECISION IS DEATH!\nLIFE IS MOVEMENT!\nYOU HAVE DIED!\nYOU HAVE FAILED A STORY-GAME WITH NO OBJECTIVE!\nBECAUSE YOU HESITATE!\nBUT UNLIKE LIFE, [[YOU CAN BEGIN AGAIN|Start]]

No, I'm going somewhere interesting with this, I was doing that as reference humor for those in the know on these things.\nSee, we are sort of having a dialog here, which is totally different.\n[[1. Yes, but you still choose my responses, so all I can do is follow along your stupid plot, but I would like to see what happens next|story3]]

The voice on the line is yours.\nYou might say:\n[[1. "This isn't right, there is more than this, I am not happy with this, I want to change, I am going to change, I need something more to life!"|change]]\n[[2. "I am not sure if I am the past that I forgot, the present I'm not aware of or if you are any of those. Maybe I'm not even you. But you need to find something that makes you happy, you need joy, maybe this call will help us realize that.|change]]\n[[3. "Look, this is just a fucking game, none of it matters, just get out of there."|change]]\n[[4. "Are you happy? then keep doing what you are doing, as it's okay to be happy with your life even if you aren't living like a rockstar"|stay]]\n

Again, it's limited in terms of options, it's why it's a simulator. It models a very limited sitation, with tons of inputs and options involved in that simulation.\nBut it has no way for you to just get out of the cab and walk into a building and try and flirt with a person in that building and eventually raise children in the future.\n[[1. err, okay...|realism]]

Life, life is what is next.\n\nIt's a big scary world, are you able to stand strong in it?\nWhat do you want to do? It's all open, you can try to be anything, do anything you want, but hurry! Our time is so short on this Earth.\n\n[[1. I uh..|hesitate]]\n[[2. I shall conquer the world, let all who walk the surface of the earth tremble in fear or supplication before my majesty|majesty]]\n[[3. There are only 2 other options, hesitation and conquest, I desire neither of those, surely there should be more options here?|options]]

A simple story

No, you have to do it again, but do it right.\n[[Well, that defeats the purpose of choice doesn't it, if there is only 1 right choice, then why even give me choices at all, it's a load of shit, why would you do that?|Start]]]\nSo you can fail.\n[[That's pretty fucked up right there|Start]]\nI never promised it wouldn't be.

Okay, let's first overlook the graphics.\nOf which there are none.\n\nTo start with, it's got a grid based world, real life doesn't work on a grid.\n\nSecondly, the dwarfs and the physics can lead to some very strange situations, seriously that game is bizzare.\nI also cant' get into it.\n\n[[1. Okay, fine, there is no such thing as realism, are you happy?|happy]]

It's a got a GUI, it features convoluted controls for a keyboard, you are unable to just dig a tunnel, the inventory system isn't based around actual space on the person, reload times are not heavily affected by enviroments. The world can't be realstically destroyed.\nFears of disease are not modeled.\nYour soldier can't get cramps in a leg making it hard to move that leg, FOR NO GOOD REASON.\nYour soldier can't be nearsighted and require usage of glasses or contacts to see at a distace, both of which can add to potential difficulties.\nYou don't have to deal with the discomfort of your helmet being on at all times.\n\nYou can't not be the battle, there is no room to be neutral.\nYou can't just turn the gun on yourself and commit suicide.\nYou don't have to worry about shitting your pants in fear.\n\nThe game is deep, it's a simulation that is heavy on a limited focus of verisimilitude, but not realistic.\n[[1. Uh, how about..|realism]]

I don't know about her really.\nI guess she is better at being controversial (for someone who is super famous and popular) than she is at twerking (her technique was one of the worst things about the VMA's, which are a pretty terrible thing as it is, like Lex Luthor stealing 40 Cakes bad).\nI don't think she is doing anything bad, aside from the whole objectification of black women thing, but many other people written on that subject than I can.\n\n[[1. I'd be her|miley]]\n[[2. Huh, yeah.. I'm gonna go now|leave]]

Hey, it was a longshot.\nThat I could find love through a game.\nBut maybe it will happen anyways, I mean life is full of twists and turns.\nBut I feel like I will meet someone that I will fall in love with, some day. I just hope that I am happy with myself by then.\n[[1. Well, what is that special person like?|special]]

Like a snowflake, like everyone else.\n[[1. Doesn't that include that special person?|rude2]]

I didn't expect you to say that you wanted to be Batman. I mean, there are many other people you could be, maybe even someone who does something useful. But congratulations, your parents are now murdered, you are rich and look like Ben Affleck.\nAre you happy now?\n[[1. Hold up, how could you not expect my decision? It's a pre-written choice, you expected SOMEONE to pick it!|batman2]]\n[[2. Fine, I want to be Miley Cyrus!|miley]]\n[[3. Batman is great! he saves the day, fights crime and has a sweet flying car and inspires people that they can make a difference using their own skills and abilities!|defendbatman]]\n[[4. Yes, I'm GODDMAMN HAPPY NOW! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!|HAPPYNOW]]\n[[5. Yeah, I'm cool with that.|cool]]\n

Har har har.\nI don't care, you get [[THE DAMN STORY|story2]]\nOR YOU CAN [[LEAVE|leave]]

Things can get better.\nYou can do it, you just have to change how you see things. As reality is fucking subjective. You just need to change your lens and see things differently.\nJust, be safe, okay?\nMaybe play again.\n[[1. Okay|Start]]

Deadend

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.\nI haven't thought about it really.\nThis is something I'm making up as I go.\nlower your expectations, maybe you will enjoy what I'm doing.\nProbably you won't. It's okay either way.\nI'm mostly trying to get a feel for the basics of Twine.\nMaybe I will do something cool next time.\n\nSo from the top?\n[[1. From the Top!|Start]]

Change is hard.\n\nMaybe you can do it.\nReal change.\nLasting change.\nI'm sorry I don't have something silly to say, it's late when I'm writing this.\nI'm not happy with where I am in life right now.\nI want to pick change, but it's scary and hard and maybe it won't make me happy, which is even worse.\n\nMaybe you should start over and forget about this.\nPlease?\n[[1. Okay|Start]]

Awesome.\nlet me rant to you about Batman.\n[[1. FUCK YES! I LOVE NERDY RANTS ABOUT BATMAN IN MY RANDOM TWINE GAMES!|batman2]]

Well, it stops ringing, it seems like everything is okay.\nAnd just like that, you lose all choice.\nYou go through the rest of the story, having adventures and learning about yourself along the way.\nBut I don't feel like writing it, as I'd have to give you options and you always choose the boring option of inaction, expectign the story to come at you.\nIt was epic, you were great.\n[[1. I sure am, can I go now?|ignorestory1]]

No, I refuse.\nI'm trapping you here on this page.\nYou are unable to respond, your speaking options have been removed, you have no more power.

No, I mean.. everyone matters, we all share this world and should try not to hurt others, right?\nBut maybe it wasn't meant for you, and you getting it makes things awkward, I'm sure you are great, but can't we just be friends?\n[[1. Did you just put me in the friendzone?|rude4]]

Well, yes.. but no.\nBecause they are special to me.\n[[1. So only you matter?|rude3]]

I can't tell if you are very enthusiastic right now, or angry at me.\nI'm sorry if you are angry.\nWell, not really.\nI'm going to assume you happy being Batman so much you want to talk about Batman with me.\n[[1. okay then.|defendbatman]]\n[[2. umm|hesitate]]

Are you joking?\n[[1. Yes|realism]]\n[[2. Uhh, err yeah|realism]]\n[[3. Dead serious, that game series is so fucking realistic, it's goddam real.|leave2]]\n

There is no such thing as the Friendzone, or at least in the way you seem to be implying, as this place of exile.\n\nI see it now, you are trapped in a mirror that is flying through the cosmos, no one can hear you banging as you scream "JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE! I CARE FOR YOU! THUS YOU MUST LOVE ME!" to me.\nOh wait, that is the Phantom Zone.\nSame difference, just as fictional.\n\nSomeone isn't into you romantically, and they enjoy your company as a friend, that is fucking awesome!\nREAL LIFE PROTIP: It's easier to find people to have sex with than it is to find someone who you can talk to about many things and will help you move.\nThere are other people out there for you, it's okay.\n[[1. I guess, that works, so can we get less personal and do a FUCKING STORY NOW?|Start]]

Uh, okay. You are Miley Cyrus, I mean, you can be anyone, you don't need to tell me, it's the power of imagination, and I can only put in so many options. But now you are Miley Cyrus, I have updated all the fancy statistics that run this game and have changed EVERYTHING, does it feel different now?\nIt should, because it is different in a special way that is impossible to explicitly taste and is only noticeable to the most creative and visionary of people.\nYou do see it, right?\n[[1. Yes, it's all.. you know... different. I love the metatextual implications of the stylistic choices between being Batman and being someone else, it's really genius.|Yes]]\n[[2. Sure, whatever.. what's next?|next]]\n[[3. No|No]]\n[[4. You are full of shit|options]]

Why thank you for the compliment on my creative vision.\nI'm a real creative visionary, up there with Michael Bay and David Goyer.\n\nYou should try playing the actual story now, but remember: [[1. I am Miley Cyrus Now|Start]]\n

I am, because games aren't meant to be realistic.\nI mean, they aren't meant to be ANYTHING but they can be imbued with meaning through actions of players or by design.\nGames are inately a set of rules, you have to play within them. Videogames have rules that are closer to laws of physics as they can't really be broken, unlike traditional games in the real world.\nSo maybe all games that make it impossible to do things count as realism, and rules have to be participated in willingly.\n\nLike laws.\n\nNothing in the universe actually prevents you from killing people where it's against the law, other people choose to do so.\n\nSo maybe a realistic game is one where you can cheat the rules without breaking the physics?\n[[1. Um, whatever man, is there a story here?|Start]]

Look, I'm just one person, I'm making this up as I go on.\nYou want more choices? Make your own game, make it better, make it deeper, make it say something instead of the nothing this game says about me. Other than my terrible punctuation usage, shit. I mean, really, I'm terible.\n\n[[1. That takes effort, I desire to consume more!|Start]]

Name a realistic game:\n\n[[1. CALL OF DUTY|cod]]\n[[2. ARMA|arma]]\n[[3. Euro Truck Simulator|eurotruck]]\n[[4. Dwarf Fortress|dwarffortress]]