You are a college aged human being. You live in a [[dormfirst]] where you are friends with most of the people on your floor. You love music, both to play and listen to. [[Back|First]].
[[You]] are sitting in lecture for your [[Calculus]] class at [[MIT]] and before the class ends, the [[professor]] reminds you of the test at 12PM (noon) tomorrow... It is currently 1pm and you leave your class with your [[friends]].
Good luck [[studying]]! Try not to get distracted.
(set: $time to 0)(set: $flashcards to 0)(set: $study to 0)(set: $nodrug to false)(set: $drug to false)(set: $experimentdrug to false)(set: $trial to false)(set: $studyPath to true)
(print: window.adhd($time))
How do you get to MIT? Well, you were involved in a lot of different activities in high school and MIT really liked your well roundedness. [[Back|First]].
(if: $experimentdrug)[Your stomach starts to grumble, but you don't realize it because you're so focused on preparing for the test. (text-style:"strike")[You decide to go to your favorite bakery and get a <span class="fake-link">sandwich</span>. As you get in <span class="fake-link">line</span> you see <span class="fake-link">Andrea</span>. You consider whether to <span class="fake-link">say hi</span> or just <span class="fake-link">mind your own business</span>].
You sit down and [[study|experimentfoodstudy]] on the closest comfortable surface, then run back to your [[dorm]] for an hour or two of more studying.]
(else:)[Your stomach starts to grumble and you realize you're quite hungry for sustenance. You decide to go to your [[favorite bakery]] and get a [[sandwich]]. As you get in [[line]] you see [[Andrea]]. You consider whether to (if: $drug)[<span class="emphasize">[[say hi]]</span>](else:)[[[say hi]]] or just [[mind your own business]]. You eat your sandwich and run back to your [[dorm]] for an hour or two of studying.]
(print: window.adhd($time))
A little bakery on Mass. Ave. that takes way longer than it should to make a [[sandwich]]. But it's all worth it in the end. It makes your mouth water just thinking about the beautiful bready goodness of your favorite sandwich. [[Back|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
It looks to be about 20 minutes long so you'll have to wait a while before you get your sandwich. Maye you could [[say hi]] to [[Andrea]] and talk to her while you wait? [[Back|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
You take out your phone and start reading the news. This reminds you... maybe you should be studying for your test tomorrow. Just as you're about to switch tabs to your class's website, it's your turn to order. You order your favorite sandwich and then turn around -- there's [[Andrea]], she's come to [[say hi]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
You and Andrea were really good friends your freshman year, but slowly drifted apart when she moved into her own apartment and you two declared different majors. She tells you she already has a seat and invites you to eat with her. You could do that, or you could take your sandwich to go and head to the library for some study time. [[Back|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
Andrea tells you she's doing pretty well but she has two exams over the next week so she's a bit stressed. You tell her you have an exam too -- wait it's just a few more (if: $drug)[<span class="emphasize">[[hours]]</span>](else:)[[[hours]]] before the exam.
(set: $time to $time + 2)
You tell Andrea you would really like to catch up but you need to study for the exam. You spend some time working out practice problems the professor gave you and Andrea gives you some pointers. [[Back|food]].
(set: $study to $study + 1)
Your favorite sandwich.. a chicken breast sandwich with some hummus and pickles.. mmmm. You've had so many of these since you got to MIT. Maybe you should be careful and make sure you get a varied enough diet. [[Back|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
(if: $drug and ($time >= 46))[You're starting to feel really nervous for the test and decide to go to your [[room|breakdown]] for a few minutes to collect your thoughts first.](else:)[(if: $experimentdrug)[You walk by your best friend's room. (text-style:"strike")[Your <span class="fake-link">favorite song</span> is playing from his speakers. He's pretty engrossed in the video game he's playing so he doesn't notice you at first but you start <span class="fake-link">dancing to the music</span>. He sees you and asks why you're wasting your time in his room. "Don't you have an exam to study for?" You say "I'm doing my <span class="fake-link">best</span>, but sometimes it's hard to concentrate -- especially when your amazing music is so loud". "Ha.Ha."]
You head back to your room and [[study|experimentdormstudy]] for a bit. Once you've done that you head to the [[test|get going]]. You know all that you need to.]
(else:)[You hear your [[favorite song]] coming out of your [[best friend]]'s room as you walk by. He's pretty engrossed in the video game he's playing so he doesn't notice you at first but you start [[dancing to the music]]. He sees you and asks why you're wasting your time in his room. "Don't you have an exam to study for?" You say "I'm doing my [[best]], but sometimes it's hard to concentrate -- especially when your amazing music is so loud". "Ha.Ha." he says, "Wait what (if: $drug)[<span class="emphasize">[[time]]</span>](else:)[[[time]]] is your exam? You should probably {
(if: $nodrug)[[[get going|no drug get going]]]
(if: $drug and ($time <= 46))[[[get going|drug get going]]]
(if: $experimentdrug)[[[get going]]]
}."
]]
(print: window.adhd($time))
You spy that cute TA from your class on your way home. [[Alex]]... Damn. You are imagining the things you could do... The way they teach about differential equations... It makes you want to lie tangent to their [[curves]]... Hah math jokes bring you back to your high school days in [[math team]]. That was fun. Your math teacher was the one that inspired you to [[apply]] to [[MIT|NeedAdderall]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
(print: window.adhd($time))
Alex is so smart. Alex is getting a [[PhD]] in mathematics. You love watching them teach and their voice makes even [[Green's Theorem]] sound sexy. How can someone be that attractive and pursue something that is so awesome?
Math team was awesome. You competed all throughout high school. Your teacher was amazing and everyone loved her. You loved the rush and adrenaline of the [[team competitions]].
(set: $time to $time + 3)
You love your [[teammates]]. They were amazing. Becuase the four of you worked so well as a team, your team was the varsity team for all four years. You liked the team competitions better than the individual competitions because the team competitions were faster and you only had 5 minutes to solve a problem rather than an hour. Your team was so good that you all even won first place at Nationals.
Most of your teammates are back home at the state college. You miss them a lot. You feel that you are missing out on all the fun especially because all of them are in the same major and they all live together. You wonder if you made the right choice coming to MIT. [[Back|studying]].
Should you get a PhD? It seems like a really cool idea. But in what? You are interested in so many different things. [[Mathematics]], Chemistry, History, Economics... But you also like your hobbies... Maybe you can have a career in Music, Dance, Theater, or maybe you should start your own restaurant.
(set: $time to $time + 3)
Oh crap, you have a test tomorrow. You should start studying. You bust out those [[flash cards]] and start those practice problems. You got this.
You sucessfully write all the formulas you need to memorize for your test on the flashcards.
{
(if: $flashcards < 20)[[[Memorize]].]
(else:)[~~Memorize~~.]
[[Back|studying]].
}
(print: window.adhd($time))
A jazzy number your [[best friend]] and you found together.
(set: $time to $time + 1)
He's pretty dorky and has a nerdy sense of humor. You're both bisexual so there's a chance you could be [[something more than friends]] but you're playing it by ear right now. Usually when you hang out with him you listen to music or watch him play video games.
(set: $time to $time + 2)
You were never a great dancer but it's still fun to try, and practice makes perfect right? [[Back|dorm]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
That's right you only have hours left until your exam. You head back to your room and study for a bit. You understand a bit more about integrals now. [[Back|dorm]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)(set: $study to $study + 1)
Ever since you were a kid you've been saying that you're doing your best but no one seems to believe you. You think back to your parents scolding you for forgetting to study when you were too interested in your projects. [[Back|dorm]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
It's unclear what he thinks of you and you don't really know what to think of him either. You like spending time together and do so all the time. But it seems like there's never enough (if: $time < 38)[$studyPath[[[time]]]](else:)[time] for aything extra outside of classes. (if: $time >= 38)[[[Back|dorm]].]
Your [[friend]] texts you, reminding you that you are able to focus better after a good night's [[sleep]]. You feel the urge to test it yourself - you do have an [[exam]] soon, after all. You plan it all out in your head; you can't wait to lie in bed and relax. But your mind will wander. You know it. To quell your thoughts, you take out your phone. Three new [[email]] messages? You could read them, but that might just make you feel more unnerved. Just one game of [[Candy Crush]]. That might just do the trick and put you to sleep. Maybe you should watch some [[Netflix]]...
(set: $time to $time + 1)
(print: window.adhd($time))
Your sleep schedule has been kind of irregular lately. You figure it can't do you any harm to catch up on some sleep anyway, but your mind is racing. You have too many thoughts to go to sleep right now. [[Back|sleeping]].
Sam. The know-it-all. The perfect student. You've always been jealous of Sam. So calm, so collected, so put-together. Literally the [[best|best2]] at everything. Why can't you be like that?
(set: $time to $time + 1)
This exam. It's going to end up being 15% of your grade. Focus. Focus. Focus.... Wait, you spy your Kindle. You decide to read Harry Potter for a while and pass out with your kindle on your chest. [[Next|drug]].
(set: $time to $time + 2)
(print: window.adhd($time))
(set: $time to $time + 16)
One of the emails is from your professor. Attached is an additional practice exam. You preview it and realize that you can actually do the first problem...and the second...and the third...you can push back an hour or so of sleeping to finish the exam and give yourself a bit of an ego boost. Eventually you fall asleep with a bit more peace of mind. [[Next|drug]].
(set: $time to $time + 4)(set: $study to $study + 1)
(print: window.adhd($time))
(set: $time to $time + 16)
This was a poor decision. The game is just so addicting... But after 20 levels, you are out of lives and it is late... You are now very tired and fall asleep. [[Next|drug]].
(set: $time to 18)
(print: window.adhd($time))
(set: $time to $time + 16)
Maybe you can draw some deep inspiration from a mathy TV series - Numb3rs. They do math there, right? [[Back|sleeping]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
Ever since you were a kid you've been saying that you're doing your best but no one seems to believe you. You think back to your parents scolding you for forgetting to study when you were too interested in your projects. [[Back|sleeping]].
You wake up after sleeping a lovely 8 hours, and beside your bed is your prescription of Adderall(if: $trial)[, along with the new drug your doctor gave you]. Do you take {
(if: $trial)[[[the experimental drug]] or] your [[Adderall|take it]]
}? Or do you [[not take anything|not take it]]? Sometimes you react poorly to your medications...
(print: window.adhd($time))
You take your medication as you eat a granola bar for breakfast along with some water. You start to feel more awake. [[Next|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
(set: $studyPath to (text-style:"outline"))
(set: $drug to true)
You decide not to take it, you're worried that you won't be able to handle the stress that the medicine induces. [[Next|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)(set: $nodrug to true)
(set: $studyPath to (text-colour:"blue"))
You had a hard time in high school because even though you did well in your classes, you really wanted to learn do your own independent projects. [[Back|doctor]].
(print: window.adhd($time))
{
(if: $time < 46)[You're early! Take the extra time to do some [[cramming]].]
(if: $time is 46)[You're right on time.]
(if: $time is 47)[You're late. The exam is already half over. (set: $study to $study/2)]
(if: $time > 47)[You missed the test. Better luck next time.]
}
(if: ($time is 46) or ($time is 47))[{
Exam Results:
(if: $study <= 0)[You could not answer a single question besides your name.]
(if: $study is 1)[You can only confidently answer one question.]
(if: $study is 2)[You can only confidently answer a couple questions.]
(if: $study is 3)[You can answer maybe half the test questions.]
(if: $study is 4)[You know the answer to most questions, and have good guesses for the rest.]
(if: $study >= 5)[You know how to answer everything. This test is a breeze.]
}]
(if: ($time is 46) or ($time is 47))[{
(if: $nodrug)[[[Next|nodrug finish]].]
(if: $drug)[[[Next|drug finish]].]
(if: $experimentdrug)[[[Next|experimentdrug finish]].]
}]
(set: $flashcards to $flashcards + 10)(set: $study to $study + 1)You have memorized $flashcards% of the flash cards. [[Back|flash cards]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
Tick Tock Tick Tock.. Study Study Study Study... Tick Tock Tick [[Tock|get going]]...
(set: $study to $study + 1)(set: $time to 46)
You are so worried. You are alone in your room and you are [[crying]]. You do not know if you can pass this test. You don't want your friends to know how worried you are. Everyone at MIT is successful and you need to be successful too.
You are wrapped up in your bedsheets and your thoughts are making you panic. You only have an hour until your [[exam|breakdown3]] and you don't want to fail.
It is 30 minutes before the [[test|sadtest]]. You grudingly get up from your bed and try to wash the tears from your face.
You arrive at the [[test|get going]], not ready and emotionally wrung out.
(set: $time to 46)
That butt... [[Back|studying]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
You figured you were just applying for the hell of it, you never thought you'd get in. But you were super pleased you did! [[Back|studying]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
Green's theorem gives the relationship between a line integral around a simple closed curve C and a double integral over the plane region D bounded by C. It is named after George Green and is the two-dimensional special case of the more general Kelvin–Stokes theorem. [[Back|Alex]].
Calculus: [[Cavalieri’s Principle]], [[Cylindrical Shell Method]], [[L'Hôpital's Rule]], [[Riemann Sum]]... There is a lot of material to cover. [[Back|First]].
Your professor draws those dotted lines so well! Every dot is perfectly spaced. [[Back|First]].
You are a pretty social person, so you have a lot of really good friends because it is easy for you to find something to talk about with anyone. [[Back|First]].
A method of finding the volume of a solid. You think you need integrals to use it? [[Back|Calculus]].
A technique for finding the volume of a solid of revolution. [[Back|Calculus]].
A technique used to evaluate limits of fractions that evaluate to the indeterminate expressions 0/0 and +-infinity/infinity. It's unclear to you how to use it though. [[Back|Calculus]].
An approximation of a definite integral. You're not exactly sure how to do it though. [[Back|Calculus]].
You live in an awesome dorm with a really cool single. You were really lucky to get a room to yourself because you sometimes forget to clean up your room. [[Back|You]].
MIT has made you really stressed to the point where you're thankful you have Adderall now more than ever. You check your backpack for your Adderall prescription and remember that you only have one day left. Should you go to your scheduled [[doctor]]'s appointment and get a refill or [[nap|sleeping]] for a little bit before you hit the books?
(print: window.adhd($time))
You tell the doctor about your exam that you're incredibly worried about. [[She]] [[sympathises]] with your situation. Your doctor tells you about an upcoming [[experimental]] trial that she thinks will really help you out-- that is, if you want to [[participate]]. Or you could just get a [[refill]] prescription.
(set: $time to $time + 1)
(print: window.adhd($time))
You have been going to this doctor since the beginning of college. She is not like your old doctor in your hometown because she doesn't know how you felt back in [[high school]].
Just like always when people "sympathize" with you, you feel like she doesn't really understand the distractions that constantly go through your mind. [[Back|doctor]].
The drug should completely drown out any [[distracting]] thoughts. That sounds great-and according to reports the focus you gain is intense.
The doctor hands you a bottle of new medication and instructs you to take one in the morning after you've fallen [[asleep|sleeping]].
(set: $trial to true)
(if: $time < 12)[(set: $time to 12)]
(else:)[(set: $time to $time + 1)]
Your prescription is ready now since this appointment was already planned. You head to the pharmacy to pick up your refill. After you pick it up, you might as well go home and fall [[asleep|sleeping]] because it's getting late.
(if: $time < 12)[(set: $time to 12)]
(else:)[(set: $time to $time + 1)]
You do know that you often find yourself distracted when you are doing things. It seems like you can't focus on a task long enough to finish it at times. [[Back|doctor]].
You take the exiperimental medication with a glass of water as you get out of bed. You start to feel more awake. [[Next|food]].
(set: $time to $time + 1)
(set: $study to 5)
(set: $experimentdrug to true)
Thank you for playing <i>ADHD</i>. Please <a href="https://21a500.wordpress.com/2015/11/22/twine-game-group-reflection/#more-1222" target="_blank">continue</a> to read about why we made this Twine game.
On your way to the test you run into [[Taylor]]. She's heading there too, so you walk together. She tries to make small talk about the test, and starts talking about how she did all the practice tests and re-read the lecture notes to prepare. It makes you feel anxious. You only got through the first practice test, but you don't want to tell her that so you just smile and [[nod|get going]].
You've seen her in lecture before and she almost always sits in the front row. [[Back|no drug get going]].
Your stomach drops when the professor announces that time is up. How did the time slip away so fast? You try not to worry too much as you leave. Now it's just a waiting game until the final test results come out and you hope that you'll get a [[passing grade]].
{(if: $study >= 3)[You walk out of the test feeling pretty confident in your performance but you can't help but feel anxious about your upcoming exams.]
(else:)[You didn't do as well on the test as you would have liked and you can't help feeling anxious about your upcoming exams.]}
Your breakdown before the test felt pretty bad and you feel very critical of yourself, but at least you're still yourself. Taking Adderall gave you the ability to tell the difference between productive thoughts and unproductive ones, and you despite your feelings of anxiety, you remained <i>you</i> in the hours leading up to the test.
The years ahead at MIT seem [[more daunting than ever|finish]].
You feel an immense sense of relief the second you leave the room. The test was easy for you because you did so much studying, but it's also been the only thing that you've been able to think about for the last 18 hours. Focusing like that is exhausting, and now that the test is behind you and the drug you took is wearing off, you can finally start to think and worry about other things again. As you start walking home, you realize that your stomach is growling. When was the last time you [[ate]]...?
You're starting to feel really nervous for the test and decide to go to your [[room|breakdown]] for a few minutes to collect your thoughts first.
You think back to how you spent the last 18 hours, and realize that you didn't actually get through all your study materials. If you had been able to focus, the extra studying would have helped a lot and you wonder if maybe you should have [[taken your Adderall after all|finish]].
Come to think of it, you don't think you've eaten since lunch yesterday. You turn on the spot and start heading towards your favorite sandwich shop. It's not too far away and the walk is pleasant. As you're heading down the street your phone starts to buzz. When was the last time you checked your [[phone]]?
You pull it out of your pocket and see an ungodly number of missed emails and text messages. You hope that you haven't missed anything important. At the moment, your phone is buzzing because your mom is calling. You figure that she wants to hear about the test, so you [[pick up]].
But the first thing she talks about is actually the beautiful weather. Apparently Boston is experiencing a newsworthy weather anomaly and it's a beautiful 70 degree December day... no wonder your walk feels so [[pleasant]].
You start to look around the street and listen to the ambient city noises, and you can hear birds chirping and children's laughter from the park nearby.
It worries you that you've missed noticing all of these important things until [[now]].
You had thought that the new drug was awesome becuase it was so helpful in allowing you to focus on studing, but now you realize that in doing so, it took important aspects of what it means to be human away from you. You realize that for the last 18 hours you've simply been a study machine.. and that thought scares you. Finals week is not too far off, and it makes you wonder, [[would you take the drug again|finish]]?
You read all the chapters that the exam covers. [[Back|food]].
(set: $study to $study + 1)
(set: $time to $time + 6)
You do two practice tests with difficult integral problems. You understand integrals deeply now. [[Back|dorm]]
(set: $time to $time + 4)(set: $study to $study + 1)