Don't Lose Your Chill: Retail Edition

#Don't Lose Your Chill! **Retail Edition** By Trinady L Chase [[Start]]

And so, there I was, having just clocked in--just trying to have a good day--when this guy walks in, marches right up to the counter and says huffing and puffing: “I need to do a return.” I shrug and say, “Alright, what’s the item you need to return?” This guy slaps down a sopping wet tshirt, no tags, and says, “It didn’t fit.” I… > [[lose my chill--it’s really gonna be that day already?!->lose my chill]] > [[keep it chill--my day’s just started…->keep it chill]]

I nod, all sage-like, and pull out my hand sanitizer to keep it on me. I hold my breath an pick up the shirt. Bro, this shirt is dripping wet. Like dipped in a tub, then squeeze a bit wet! It's just a plain navy shirt, similar to the ones we generally carry. I put it back down, and ask if he wants to do an exchange or just return it. He says he’d be down to exchange for the right size. So I ask the size and he says “XXL”. This guy doesn’t look bigger than 5’8” and a medium build! What’s homie gonna do with a double-XL shirt?! I’m like, “Alrighty,” and check our inventory for XXL’s, but looks like all the navy shirts are sold out. He’s not having it when I break the news to him. He goes, “Well--What--Can you check the back? Maybe you have some back there?” I'm dying internally at this point. So I… > [[agree and tell him I’ll check the stockroom.->keep it chill 2]] > [[tell him there’s no stock so an exchange isn’t possible.->lost my chill A]]

I clench my fist to keep from laughing, and make this raised eyebrow face, right. So, I tell him, “I’m sorry, but we can’t take that back.” The guys starts stuttering like, “W-Why?! I have a receipt!” I freakin’ laugh-cough and I could feel him staring at me like ahh! Anyways, I… > [[tell him we can’t take the shirt back, regardless.->lose my chill 2]] > [[regain my chill and ask for the receipt.->regain chill A]]

So at this point, the dudes losing his mind. He can’t believe he can’t return this soaking wet t-shirt to us. So I say in my best retail voice, “I’m sorry, but our store policy states the shirt must be in original condition with tags in order to be returned.” Let me tell you--this guy was livid! I smiled hella sweet and said, “I’m sorry.” So this dude--oh my god--this dude says my favorite phrase. He says, “I want to speak to a manager.” I smile hella big and… > [[horns split open my forehead, as my true form the demon manager emerges-->lose my chill 3]] > [[nod with a empathetic expression and tell him I am the manager->regain chill B]]

I go meanderrr back to the stockroom, really excited about my coffee I'm going to get to sip--yaaasssss. I pass my coworker who's been eavesdropping on the situation and they just smirk a little and I almost lose it laughing. So I gotta cover my mouth and run to the back before the dude hears me giggling. I stand in the stockroom, sip my flavorful bean juice--a quad-shot vanilla latte, aw yes--feeling the caffeine chill me out and check some memes real quick. I think I did a couple jumping jacks for good measure before jogging back out to the sales floor huffing. "Sorry man," I say, "I checked everywhere! No navy XXL." And this guy's got the au-da-ci-ty to say, "Did you even check?" and starts demanding to see a manager or some stuff like I dunno. Oh man. My soul about left my body... > [[horns split open my forehead, as my true form the demon manager emerges-->lose my chill 3]] > [[I nod with a empathetic expression and tell him I am the manager->keep it chill 3]]

Lol, okay, after all this, I can’t even hide it anymore! I touch my horns like, ‘oh shoot, it happened’. Haha! So, I kinda embrace it, and lean forward on the counter, and say, “Sir, I am the manager.” And I swear to god, he was frozen in place! He quietly grabs his gross shirt, and leaves. On the counter, he left his receipt, though. So I pick it up, curious to see what location he bought this shirt. The receipt was from another store!!!! I about screamed and threw it in the trash. That store wasn’t gonna take it back either! [[Credits]]

This guys kinda sputters and like tries to say something about it’s my ‘responsibility--as the manager--to provide excellent customer service’ and how I ‘should be ashamed of myself not providing the best service’. I stand there, internally screaming. The thought of my lukewarm vanilla quad-shot latte sitting in our stockroom was the only thing keeping me from throwing myself at this guy. After this chad finishes his whole spiel, I reinforce we can’t take back the shirt, and tell him, with SO much concern, how I’m ‘thankful for his valuable feedback and I’ll provide his feedback to corporate’. He seemed to find that an at least satisfying answer, because he just picks up his slimy shirt and storms out of the store. I about died! This dude-bro do what?! Ahhhh ha ha hahaha ha! [[Credits]]

Story by Trinady L Chase (Chase Designs) Website: https://trinadychase.wixsite.com/chasedesigns

So at this point, the dudes losing his mind. He can’t believe he can’t exchange this soaking wet t-shirt to us. So I say in my best retail voice, “I’m sorry, but even if we had stock, our store policy states the shirt must be in original condition with tags in order to be returned or exchanged.” Let me tell you--this guy was livid! I smiled hella sweet and said, “I’m sorry.” My spite being the only reminder I'm not already dead inside. So this dude--oh my god--this dude rattles on, then says my favorite phrase. He says, “I want to speak to a manager.” Real serious! I smile hella big and… > [[horns split open my forehead, as my true form the demon manager emerges-->lose my chill 3]] > [[nod with a empathetic expression and tell him I am the manager->regain chill B]]

The guy hands over the receipt, saying some stuff about ‘this is the worst service he’s ever received’ like he couldn’t’ve led with that first. A take a look at the receipt and guess-freakin’-what! The receipt is from a completely different store! The guy snatches the receipt back from my hands and then looks me square in the eyes and says, “This isn’t the same place?” Dead serious! I’m speechless at this point. Like, “No, I’m sorry. This isn’t the right place.” I kind of awkwardly stand there for a moment, then, like, just leave. What else am I supposed to do? I kinda watch him from behind one of wracks, right. And he stands there for a moment, looking lost, and then walks out! I was howling! [[Credits]]

The guy starts saying some stuff about ‘this is the worst service he’s ever received’. This guys kinda sputters and like tries to say something about it’s my ‘responsibility--as the manager--to provide excellent customer service’ and how I ‘should be ashamed of myself not providing the best service’. I stand there, internally screaming. At this point only the thought of my lukewarm vanilla quad-shot latte sitting in our stockroom was the only thing keeping me from throwing myself at this guy. After this chad finishes his whole spiel, I reinforce we don't have any stock, and tell him, with SO much concern, how I’m ‘thankful for his valuable feedback and I’ll provide his feedback to corporate’. This guy's, like, pink-faced. What's he need a XXL navy shirt so bad for? He just picks up his gross shirt and storms out, but leaves his receipt on the counter, so I pick it up, curious of course. The receipt was from another store!!!! I about screamed and threw it in the trash. That store wasn’t gonna take it back either! [[Credits]]