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Over the years, you can say that I've had my fair share of time in mental wards. This last session has really enlightened me I believe. They told me to cut my loose ends and pursue my goals. Well the only goal in my life was fulfilling the Bitter End.
Twenty six pints, thirteen bars, one night
That's all I want.
Now to round up the boys, I hope Hank forgot what happened 21 years ago......
[[Call Hank]]
[[Go to Toby's Speed Shop]] Over the years, I've come to miss Keswick; the quiet nights, the summer bonfires, Keswick Kenny's Burger shack and most of all, the boys. Well except for Willie, that piece of shit almost cost me my life and my scholarship to Oregon University.
Hank took the wheel as our usually designated driver after one of our nights out partying. We headed down Queensway, so we could head to the Boston pizza, as we hit the intersection, Willie thought it would be funny to grab the wheel. We hit the Boston pizza sign and the GODDAMN B almost smashed my foot by half an inch.
News hit all over the province and eventually the recruiters in the states; Indiana, Florida, UCLA, and Ole Miss all withdrew. But, my main pick held through, Oregon knew I wasn't at fault and wasn't afraid of bad press, thank god.
Now it's January 5th, 2017; I'm a month off from my first Super Bowl appearance. After my 11 year stint with the Patriots, I'm gearing up for my 5th ring.
Hold up I'm getting a phone call.
[[Hank picks up phone]] It's 1996, "Willie" Nelson, Hank Williams and Toby Keith have just graduated from Keswick High School in Keswick, Ontario. The three friends didn't know what they were going to do in the future but, they knew they had each other.
Willie was the talk of the school; a football star and lady's man. You can say the boys were happy to be by his side.
Hank was his right hand man, not only on the field but in life. The two were unseperable. Until Willie almost lost both their lives.
Toby was 2 years younger than them but, he skipped two grades. He was bullied in school for his small stature and extensive knowledge in Star Wars lore. Willie and hank met him while some bullies were ganging up on him. They used this moment as an excuse to beat someone up but, they did find a friend in the end of it.
Today they graduate, but they don't care about their diplomas. They want to go on a liver busting pilgrimmage.
Twenty six pints, 12 bars, one night
The night started out well but, Toby couldn't last after the first 4 pubs, and the night came to an end when Willie fell asleep on the toilet at Stan's place.
It's now 2017, all of the boys have left Keswick and now live in Toronto. The group has since disbanded and all three are estranged. Willie has left after his 3rd stay in a mental ward, after his last session with his help group, he wants to tie up loose ends..........
Choose your character:
[[Willie Nelson]] (The Leader)
[[Hank Williams]] (The Muscle)
[[Toby Keith]] (The Big Bucks) It's been 21 years since that eventful night, although I was the first one to K.O.
After that night I moved from my mom's house in Keswick to my dad's in Toronto. I started out as a salesman at his used car shop but, I never had the charisma for it so, I settled on helping my uncle out in the attached garage.
Eventually, my engineering degree did come in handy with advancing my family buisness; turning it from a car lot to a glorified speed shop. We now build FD legal drift cars, FIA and WRC legal rally cars and anything in between.
I heard the boys moved to Toronto but, I could never get a hold of them. I wonder what they could be up to, I know Hank has gone to the pros but, what became of Willie after his injuries?
Wait, what the shit who just knocked those apples out of my tree?
[[Toby examines the tree]] What the hell, who's calling me from a blocked number!
*Hank declines the call*
*Willie pops from the bushes and knocks on Hank's Window*
Willie: Hey dickhead! ANSWER YOUR PHONE
*Hank opens the window*
Hank: Hey, who the fuck are you man!
Willie: Dude it's me, c'mon
Hank: Willie?
Willie: Yup
[[Invite Willie in]]
[[Shut the window]]Hank was Willie's best friend since the third grade, even though they are estranged, Willie thought he would contact him first.
[[Lie to him to get him to come]]
[[Propose the "Bitter End"]]Double-click this passage to edit it. In the corner of his eye, Toby sees someone dressed in a black trench coat and black combat boots, dangling from his tree. As he begins to piece together and recognize where he might remember that outfit from, the figure falls from the tree and lands on Toby.
[[Toby calls the cops]]
[[Toby confronts the assailant]]Hank: You goddamn putz! You think you can trot in here like you own the place!
*Hank slams the window shut and goes to sleep*
The end Alarmed, Toby runs into his garage, locks the door and grabs the phone and calls the local police department.
The assailant continued to try to enter the shop to no avail, the police had to drag him from the property.
The endToby: Dude, what the hell! Why are you Dangling from my tree?
Willie: Oh, haha just checking this wonderful orchard of apples you have back here.
Toby: Willie? What are you doing over here?
Willie: Come one man the band's getting back together.
Toby: Guy, you sold my guitar for shrooms.
Willie: No, I mean the boys are getting back together, we're doing the Bitter End AND completing it this time?
Toby: Even Hank?
Willie: Why not? Come along now!
[[Agree to go]]
[[Decline]]Returning to town was a struggle for Toby, he was not to fond of the town and it's inhabitants. They were all troglodytes to him, instead of praising new advancements in technology and society, they disregarded them and said it would ruin society. Worst of all, were the bullies, he was terrorized in his childhood and was too afraid to face them. But, he pushed on, he missed his old friends.
[[Continue on]]Willie explains to Toby the buisness that he wants to get done in Keswick. And he explains his last situation for the last 15 years. After losing his scholarship from injury(tearing both his ACL's in 2 years), he fell into a streak of depression and stints in mental wards.
Toby realizes that this is a cry for help and instead of agreeing to go, he spends the next month helping his old friend get back into the groove of things.
The end.Hank: Willie? What are you doing here? I thought you were back in Keswick?
Willie: Naw, I tried to stay after high school but it was too drab. I moved to Toronto like 10 years ago.
Hank: Cool, so why'd you come here, did you not forget what you did?
Willie: Yeah I know and I'm sorry, I heard Mr. McCarthy just died last week, I wanna know if you're up to go back for the weekend.
*Cough*
And you know do the Bitter End.
*Cough*
Hank: Oh wow, ok I'll come then. You know I'm teetotal right?
Willie: Ok, meet me at Union Station on Friday!
*Speaking under his breath*
The fuck is a teetotal
[[Forget to go]]
[[Go on Friday]] After enduring a week of two-a-day training, Hank is quite worn out. He falls asleep on Thursday night and wakes up the next day to the night again.
Hank: Oh crap, I forgot to meet the boys at the station. Ah screw it they can go without me.
The end. I'm quite ecstatic to go back to town again. The scenery, the lights, the people; I've truely missed them. Most of all I want to visit Mr. McCarthy's grave. He was one of the best teachers The boys and I had back in high school. He even smoked pot with us once.
[[Go to the first bar]]
[[Deny and go to sleep]]Hank arrives with the crew to the first bar, the bartender asks what they want. Willie asked for 6 pints, Hank corected.
Hank: Excuse me, he meant 4 pints and a water sir.
Willie: Wait WHAT!
They settle down at their table
Willie: Why is a man of your proficiency drinking goddamn water. It's like watching a shark eat tapas.
Toby: That doesn't even make any sense.
Willie I know it doesn't
Hank: Just leave me alone man.
Willie: Ok.....rain drinker.
[[Walk towards next bar]] Hank woke up to a bright and arid environment. The walls of the motel that he and the boys were staying at were gone. He began walking around town to discover Willie and Toby rallying the remaining citizens of Keswick together in the town square.
Willie and Toby explained the events that had happened the previous night. They discovered that Keswick was the hub for a race of omniscient race of beings that replaced anyone who did not follow their rules with automaton clones of the rebels.
The inhabitants of Keswick were the only ones who knew the fact but, were too afraid of facing this advanced race of beings. Willie was the first to challenge them in their ethics. They claimed to be the ones who helped humans evolve their technology over the last two centuries. Their methods of replacing people was rooted in keeping peace and order in society. The idea of jail seemed quite idiotic to them.
Eventually, Willie explained that they had left and all their technologies have been disabled by them. Willie was done with their spiel and began berating their methods. The beings realized that stupidity is in human nature and there is no way for them to correct it. And they left.
Now the boys have nothing left but each other. All major cities have collapsed from the beings withdrawing their infrastructure. Toronto and their loved ones were no more.
[[The Beginning of the end]]Society essientially reverted to that of the early settlers. Farming and hunting were the main sources for food. Huge corporations could not sustain due to lack of communication and transportation methods. But, was has become of the boys?
Well, they eventually settled their differences and decided to rekindle their friendship. This eventually sprouted their greatest accomplishment, creating the only operating brewery in Ontario, The Bitter end; named after the challenge that they embarked on.
The end.That night, Toby met the boys at the local town motel, which happened to be owned by his mother's friend Cathy. However upon entering she didn't seem to remember him.
They hit the town that night, the first bar, Frank's bar and grill was a frequent of theirs back in the day. Although it changed, the open barbeque pit, rustic interior and stained windows were gone. It seemed too modern for the town.
After the inaugural two pints, they set off for the second bar, Arrowhead brewery. On the way he saw an old girlfriend, Emily Smith. She also caught his eye and they began talking.
[[Go to a pub with her]]
[[Stay with the crew]]As Toby leaves the group with Emily, they begin talking about the old days and the good times they've shared. Eventually the reach the pub and begin drinking.
After they're done, they walk into the alleyway behind the pub. Toby thinks they're going to hook up but, all of the sudden; her eyes and mouth begin projecting light and she grabs him.
He wakes up tied to a chair and in front of him is a ball of light. Under him is what looks like an oversized meat grinder. The light asks him; "Any last words?", he replies "Huh?". The light says, "Good Enough" and the Emily clone kicks him into the grinder.
The End.Emily tries to get Toby to go to another pub with her but, he promised the boys that he would go out with them tonight. And so he went, he caught up with them and they entered the tavern.
[[Tap out after the second bar]]
[[Keep on going]]Toby felt quite sick after four pints, he isn't usually a drinker so his system couldn't really take it. He was going to throw up and he did, right on his brand new Jordan 4s.
He started making way towards the motel, then something hit him on the head and all he saw was black. The last thing he remembered was being thrown into a giant meat grinder by what looked like Cathy from the motel.
The end.As they walk across town to reach the third bar, The Crystal Cove, Toby starts to realize something. Everything and everyone has changed; Tim Hortons and small coffee shops are being replaced my Starbucks, and all the pubs look uniform. The people are no longer warm and welcoming, they seem almost robotic. They don't smile and look around but, look straight and continue to move, even the babies don't cry.
[[Toby tells the boys his findings]]
[[Don't tell]]Toby: Hey, you guys see anything weird with the town?
Hank: No not really, except the people seem more bitchy than I remember, and they are Starbuckin' everything.
Willie: Yeah, what happened to small businesses, man. They're the backbone of the economy.
Toby: No guys, like they all seem robotic, like stormtroopers.
Hank: Looks like someones been watching too much Star Wars.
Toby: No, I mean like look man, they're walking single file.
Toby said the last statement too loud and suddenly, everyone on the street turned towards them with light shining from their eyes and mouths. They began running towards the gang in a swift and rigid fashion. The boys made a run for it. As they hit the old driving range, they knew the end was inevitable. Then someone familiar caught Toby's eye.
[[Stay and fight]]
[[Go towards the person]]Toby and the boys almost reach the bar but, he has the sudden urge to pee so, he tells Hank and Willie that he'll meet up with them at the bar while he relieves himself in the alleyway.
While he is doing his buisness, a sack his thrown over his head and he falls asleep.
He wakes up in a warehouse, he recognizes it as John's Custom CNC and metalwork. John used to employ him as a fabricator and he also sold pot on the side. He sees John on the side polishing his Colt Python .357, he knows what's going to happen.
Toby: John why are you doing this, you know I didn't rat you out before I left, you had the best shit!
John: No, Toby I don't sell pot anymore, it's against the rules.
Toby: You don't follow rules wrong, I mean for god's sake you weld butt naked!
John: Hey don't judge me, it's a free tan, never mind that. I know you and your little crew is back in town. I don't want you guys messing with the order of things. The "Ones" are already upset you guys are in their hub.
Toby: What the fuck are you talking about?
As he muttered his last words, John fired his revolver and Toby began feeling blood rushing out of his chest, after two minutes he passed out from the blood loss.
The end.As the boys sit on the curb they see the mob of people coming. They run towards the equipment shack of the course and come out baring golf clubs, riding the ball collector.
As they trample people and smack them with golf clubs, they start to see something unusual. They're heads and limbs are popping off like the appendages of a lego minifigure and they leak what looks like printer ink out of what's left of their limbs.
As they run over the last person, a ball of light falls down from the sky, it begins explaining it's races goal and achievements in society; evolving technology and advancing society, everything that Toby stood for. Then it begin telling the gang that they are the embodiment of human stupidity. The ball of light tells them that after tonight, their kind will pull out of it's aid in helping Earth in fulfilling the galaxy's standard.
They walk through town to see what they thought were people laying on the ground, leaking printer ink. Then all the lights shut off.
The end.The person that Toby recognizes is Trevor Collins, his last and worst bully.
Toby: YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! WHY WOULD YOU SHOW YOUR FACE IN FRONT OF ME!
Toby runs towards him and tackles him, he begins pummelling his Trevor's face in with his fists. But, Trevor's head cracks like a dropped china doll, ink sprays everywhere and a light shines from his neck cavity.
Trevor: I don't think that's a good idea Toby.
Then Trevor throws Toby into a tree, snapping his neck.
The End.The gang cuts through the town square; Hank starts to see some oddities in the town's infrastructure and the town itself. All the rustic aspects of the town have been removed for similar but modern equivalents. All the small shops were replaced by chains and the people, the people were cold and calcualted, walking in single file like an Army Brigade walking to it's next emcampment.
[[Toby tells the boys his findings]]Willie picks up the phone knowing that Hank won't come if he doesn't lie, so he dials, while contemplating what to say.
Willie: Hey, Hank what's up!
Maid: This is Mary, speaking for Hank who's this?
Willie: Tell Hank it's Willie.
Maid: Hank doesn't know anyone named Willie.
Willie: Just tell him to pick up.
Hank: What do you want, Willie?
Willie: Hey what's up Hank, do you want to go back to the old country this weekend?
Hank: Why?
Willie: Uhhhhhhh, I heard Mr. McCarthy died last week, I want to pay my respects, even Toby is coming.
Hank: Okay, what time do you want to meet up?
Willie: 12:00 Friday, Union station
Hank: Okay, see ya.
[[Time to go]]
Willie picks up the phone and dials Hank's number, he knows Hank hasn't changed it because he's too lazy to deal with telling people that he's changed it.
Willie: Hey, Hank what's up!
Maid: This is Mary, speaking for Hank who's this?
Willie: Tell Hank it's Willie.
Maid: Hank doesn't know anyone named Willie.
Willie: Just tell him to pick up.
Hank: What do you want, Willie?
Willie: Hey what's up dude I just got out. How about we do something in the old town this weekend. You, me and Toby, twenty six Pints, thirteen Bars, one night.
Hank: No
Hank hangs up.
The end.Willie arrives at Union Station at 3:27 pm, the boys have been there for almost three and a half hours. The seem disappointed but the still go.
After a four hour train ride, they arrive in Keswick, Willie with a massive grin on his face. Willie tell the boys that they're going to embark the journey that they failed during their senior year, the Bitter End. They accept reluctantly.
Willie ploughs through the first two bars and at the third, he finishes quickly and even gets Hank to drink. He has to urinate however, he reaches the washroom a bit tipsy but, satisfied with his time. He begins to pee, while urinating he sees a young patron and begins telling him about the good times he's had there.
Willie: Hey buddy, you seem to be having a good time out there, huh? Yeah, I've had some good times here too. You see that hole in the wall over there? That's from me and my buddies trying to shit in the urinals new years '95.
Patron: (Silence)
[[Pick a fight]]
Willie approaches the patron after finishing.
Willie: Hey buddy what's your problem, you better respect your elders!
Patron: (Silence)
Willie swings at the patron who looks like a scrawny 19 years old. The kid catches Willie's fist mid-swing and throws him in one swift movement.
Willie: What the hell are they feeding you guys in this town now!
Willie grabs the toilet lid and swings at the kids head. His head pops off and rolls on the floor, ink sprays from his neck cavity in a comical amount. Willie then sits on the floor in surprise.
[[Hank finds out the truth]]
Hank and Toby go into the washroom.
Hank: Willie, what is wrong with you, I saw Mr. McCarthy in good health drinking a pint of guinness in the bar. Wait what just happened here, why is that kid decapitated and bleeding ink!
Willie: I just don't know man, he picked a fight with me, I don't know.
Hank: Should I call the cops?
[[Hank calls the cops]]
[[Look inconspicious]]
Hank: Dude we have to call the cops, this is really weird.
Toby: Yeah do it man this is facked!
As the police arrive on the scene, six of them come into the washroom with the boys and locked the door. The boy stood up without his head on and a blue light shone from the cavity that used to be his neck. Then the police all lined up, shoulder to shoulder and light shone from their eyes and mouths like the boy. In unison the all cocked their pistols and shot the boys down.
The End.
Toby: No, this is way too odd, what if the town is overrun with these things? Let's just wait it out and continue on like we're still doing the Bitter End, you know, look inconspicious.
[[Go to the last bar]]
[[Slowly go towards the staton]]
As they stroll through the town, Willie doesn't notice but all the citizens of Keswick stare straight at them as they walk.
[[Toby tells the boys his findings]] The boys reach the last pub, then slowly approach the station, as to not bring anymore attention to themselves. The station seems much more desolate than when the arrived there a few hours ago. They buy their tickets from the machine and get onto the platform to wait for the next train.
Suddenly, the whole town comes out and surrounds them. They tie them up and take them into the night.
The End.