[["get in."|getin]]

"what the fuck? what happened? why didn't anybody call me?"\n\n[[you were working. it wasn't a big deal.|working]]\n\n[[he called me a fag.|explanation]]

[[(you're going to hell)|killyourself]]

[[(he knows about the food and you kissed him)|notthinking3]]

"what if you were what?"\n\n[["a fag."|fag]]

"now, what happened?"\n\n[["he called me a fag.|explanation]]

your name is sam. you are fifteen years old, and you are hungry.\n\n[[drink some water|drink some water]]\n[[talk to dean|talk to dean]]

you step forward and hold on to him like if you let go you'll float away. \n\ndean kisses back.\n\n[[reach for his belt|belt]]\n\n[[kiss his neck|neck]]

he kisses back. whispers, "sam." \n\n[[he tastes like smoke and whiskey.|smoke]]

your sneakers hit pavement and you keep going. \n\n[[you're not thinking.|notthinking]]

he looks up and smiles at you cheerfully. you turn away. you have homework to do.\n\n[[do your homework|homework]]

you jack him off urgently, quickly.\n\n[[go to the couch|couch2]]

dean wants to know what you want for dinner.\n\n[[nothing|nothing]]\n\n[[you aren't hungry|nothungry]]\n\n[[leave you alone, you're doing homework|doinghomework]]

[["dean."|ignore]]

ash

you fumble fervently with his belt, pulling it open and yanking at his pants. \n\n[[you suck him off and think about how many calories his come contains.|good]]

"alright, sammy. that's okay. what do you need right now?"\n\n[[ask to watch a movie.|movie]]

"yeah, dean, jesus. of course i have."\n\n[["you weigh like twelve pounds and look like the dead. you wanna reevaluate?"|twelvepounds]]\n\n[["...ok."|noresponse]]

you take care of yourself in the shower and then you purge.\n\n[[but you're safe.|good]]

[[(kill yourself)|killyourself2]]

"you're more important than work. you get into a fight at school, you call me. no questions asked. got it?"\n\n[[yeah.|yeah]]

dean groans, takes a step back.\n\n[[keep kissing him|keepgoing]]\n\n[[run|run]]

you sit down with him on the couch and watch star wars together.\n\n[[you love him.|kisshim]]

you kiss his neck and he flattens against the wall, groaning. he unbuckles his belt and you bat his hand away. \n\n[["sam."|next]]

dean's home. \n\n[[say hi to dean|talk to dean 2]]\n\n[[ignore dean|ignore dean 1]]

[["whatever, dean."|fine]]

dean guides you carefully, quietly, to the couch. lays down, pulls you with him, on top of him. laughs quietly at the sight of your hard-on, tells you you look beautiful.\n\nyou're hungry. \n\n[[you'll have some pizza later.|good]]

"yeah, yeah, i know, you're all grown up."\n\n[["what if i was?"|question]]\n\n[["i am grown up!"|nothungry]]

[["doesn't matter, sammy."|school]]

you put earbuds in and turn the volume up. you aren't listening to dean's shitty mullet rock.\n\ndean wants to know what you want for dinner.\n\n[[nothing|nothing]]\n\n[[you aren't hungry|nothungry]]\n\n[[leave you alone, you're doing homework|doinghomework]]

[["it's fine. we're going home."|goinghome]]

he kisses your neck, careful, soft. you let out a huff of air, laugh a little. he's here, you're here, now. \n\n[[alive, real, alive, real.|salad]]

(kill yourself)\n\n(kill yourself)\n\n(kill yourself)\n\n[[the impala pulls up.|deandrivesup]]

you methodically work through your algebra problems. you keep drinking your water.\n\ndean watches you. he looks worried.\n\n[[talk to him|he looks worried]]\n\n[[put on music|music]]

you stumble with him to the couch and position yourself on top of him. you rest your head on his shoulder and stay there until he falls asleep.\n\n[[go to the bathroom.|bathroom]]

[[whatever.|doinghomework]]

end

"sam!"\n\n[[out the door|door]]\n\n[[upstairs|room]]

he kisses your neck, careful, soft. you let out a huff of air, laugh a little. he's here, you're here, now. \n\n[[alive, real, alive, real.|couch]]

your stomach hurts.\n\n[[lie|lie]]\n\n[[tell the truth|truth]]

"who the fuck is this kid?"\n\n[["some bully. it doesn't matter, dean. i can take care of myself."|takecareofmyself]]

"okay, sammy. whenever you want to talk about it."\n\n[[kiss him.|tender]]

you curl up and close your eyes.\n\n[[there's a knock on your door.|deancomesin]]

[["not much. work took a little longer today."|school]] "how was school? you still gettin' a's?" \n\n[[it was fine.|fine]]\n\n[[i beat somebody up.|beatup]]

it tastes like [[desperation.|desperation]]

starving

"what do you mean, nothing?"\n\n[[you ate earlier.|atealready]]\n\n[[you aren't hungry.|nothungry]]

"it wouldn't matter. i mean, i can't say anything about dad. but you're my brother. it wouldn't matter. why, sam? are you?"\n\n[[say yes.|iam]]\n\n[[lie.|nothungry]]\n\n[["i might be."|questioning]]

you slam your door behind you and collapse on your bed.\n\n[[jump out the window|door]]\n\n[[stay here and wait|wait]]

you get in.\n\n[["dean i'm sorry."|itsfine]]

[[kiss him.|firstkiss]]

"how was school? you still gettin' a's?" \n\n[[it was fine.|fine]]\n\n[[i beat somebody up.|beatup]]

dean isn't here.\n\n[[drink some water|drink some water]]

you ask him why he's staring at you. look him straight in the eye. \n\nyou know he hates emotional confrontations. \n\n[["nothing, sammy. it's fine."|deandismissal]]\n\n[["have you eaten today?"|deanconfrontation]]

and you tell him you love him, and he kisses you, and you eat a salad, and he tells you he's proud of you.\n\n[[go to sleep.|good]]

[[he kisses you.|good]]

[["there's nothing in the house."|twelvepounds]]

"shut up, sam. what's going on?"\n\n[[kiss him|kiss]]

you go home, and you tell him you love him, and he kisses you, and you eat a salad, and he tells you he's proud of you. \n\n[[go to sleep.|good]]

[[dean frowns.|nothungry]]

you take a breath.\n\n[[lie|lie]]

you refill your water bottle and drink. you feel better.\n\nyou hear a sound in the front room. \n\n[[go check out the sound|go check out the sound]]

not thinking.\n\n[[(you just kissed your brother.)|notthinking2]]

"alright. i'm gonna order a pizza. have some whenever." \n\n[[good.|good]]

you shrug on a smile. \n\n[[what's up|whatsup]]\n\n[[where were you|wherewereyou]]