juicesim

It is like, so great that you are juicing. You are going to feel amazing. Juicing is totally going to change your life. I started juicing and now I am just like, unceasingly happy. I'm so happy you're going to be so happy. Let's get started. Tell me what your goals are. [[01about<-I want to know more about juicing first.]] [[01clenase<-I want to do a cleanse.]] [[01loss<-I want to lose weight.]] [[01rainbow<-I want to eat the rainbow!]]

No problem! What can I tell you about? [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]]

Great. You'll want to craft a juice that has anti-oxidant qualities to combat all the crap that has accumulated in your sad, worldly corpus. May I recommend one of the following plants to begin? [[cleanse_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Cool. I mean, juicing isn't about losing weight *wink wink* but I think you're looking for some plants that will rev up your metabolism and burn away fat. How does a plant burn fat, you ask? Have you ever set a Frito on fire? Easy. Set kale on fire? Not so easy. Let me recommend you start with one of these sexy low-fat ingredients. [[loss_lemon<-Lemon]] [[loss_celery<-Celery]] [[loss_lettuce<-Lettuce]] [[loss_kale<-Kale]] [[loss_mint<-Mint]] [[loss_beet<-Beet]]

It's true, when you juice you do, in fact, taste the rainbow. This is the secret of the superpower-inducing effect of juicing. For millenia, unicorns and leprechauns have harvested the rainbow's power while its bounty remained a mystery to man. But now you, my friend, may know the rainbow's secret. Here are some super colorful fruits and veggies I picked out. They'll make your juice really pretty! Almost too pretty to drink. [[rainbow_apple<-Apple]] [[rainbow_orange<-Orange]] [[rainbow_lemon<-Lemon]] [[rainbow_cucumber<-Cucumber]] [[rainbow_blueberries<-Blueberries]] [[rainbow_beet<-Beet]]

You sharted. It is probably a sign to end the juice fast. [[start01<-Underwear come and go. Let's start again!]]

You are now a full-blown juicing devotee. You make a big batch of green fuel every morning and finish your day with a wheat grass shot for desert. Never again shall solid nutrients touch your lips. You tell everyone you know about how much juicing changed your life and let them know persistently how juicing could improve their lives, because you really, really care. You lose count of how many times you've watched "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and you cried at the end every time. You are full of light. In fact, you are light. Your loved ones are letting you know you look a little light, in fact. You are feeling a little tired all the time, but it's nothing a little juice can't help. And now for some reason you're feeling a little light-headed. Finally, you are wasting away. Now you are dead. You probably took this juicing thing a little far, don't you think? [[start01<-You only live once. But let's try that again.]]

All your dreams have come true and juicing has solved all your problems. Juicing really is everything they said it would be and more! [[start01<-That was very educational and I would like to play again.]]

Juicing is going okay, but after a few days, you can't take this shit anymore. You are just going to go to the store and get something to eat. Juice doesn't tell you what to do. You worked really hard shoving kale in that juicer all day and you can just eat something like a normal human being, right? [[end_binge02<-Right.]]

You got a bag of fancy potato chips, a sixer, and a whole thing of jelly beans, a microwaveable lasagna, some kind of chicken-flavored tofu thing, a jar of Nutella, and an extra-classy looking chocolate bar from the store. You ate it all. You are full of regret. The juice fast is over. [[start01<-But don't be too hard on yourself. There's always tomorrow.]]

You didn't do the juice fast, and never learned the powerful secrets your juice contained. You are now full of toxins, you have no energy, you probably have colon cancer, you'll never reach nirvana, and nobody likes you. You could have just had some juice, but I guess you just like Monstanto too much or something. Enjoy your McVeal burger or whatever, dick. Way to go. [[start01<-Give it another chance.]]

No way, dude, juicing is a lifestyle. It's not about dieting, it's about changing the way you live. [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Solid food is full of toxins that accumulate in your body. As a result, you are a walking sack of black junk, which explains why you hate your life so much. Juicing will help your body "detox" and restore itself to a state of heavenly purity! A lot of people feel really bad the first few days of a fast because they are feeling detox symptoms, but this is just the shit-soaked towel that is your body wringing itself out. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Uh, hello, juice is made of fruit and vegetables. It's full of fiber. The stuff you throw away at the end is just like, extra. If you're worried you won't be able to uh, go during the fast, trust me, it will not be a problem. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Yeah, man, just shove that shit in. You can put nuts and herbs and stuff, too. Yeah, apple seeds have arsenic and stuff like that, but your body wants trace amounts of minerals and you're saving yourself from eating so many chemicals, it so doesn't matter. I do have this one little trick, though, where you like, put some greens in, and then put like, a piece of apple or celery or something after, so it like, goes through, you know? [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Meh. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Juicing isn't about weight loss, but you'll probably find as the juice flushes your system of impurities, that your filthy, disgusting fat will leave your body, as well. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Sigh. Juice is nature's Funyun. It's so delicious. Also, you can totally juice an onion, if you want. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

While Sunny D is a delicious juice-like substance, and while it is not my place to say one must deprive themselves entirely of "the D," I'm afraid its luminous glow comes from the radioactive nature of artifical sugar, and not from the wondrous vitamins that are trapped within the bounty of nature, waiting to be unleashed by the steel blades of the juicer. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_survive<-But I mean, aren't people just supposed to, you know, eat?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Okay so like, we used to be cavemen, right? And they like, couldn't just go "hey, I feel like some chia pudding and pork belly bahn mi today, I'll just head on down to the co-op and get some, and maybe pick up something for dinner while I'm at it." No! They had to hunt mammoths and sabre-tooth tigers and snack on berries and snow, and sometimes they would go for days at a time with no food. But it's cool because cavemen were just like us but like, more beautiful because they worked out all the time. Throwing spears... carving fertility figures... Don't let anyone tell you they only lived to be 35, that is so untrue. Anyway your body is not designed to eat dairy and stuff every day so juicing is like, a way to get your body back into its natural rhythm. [[01about_fad<-Is this a "fad diet?"]] [[01about_clense<-So this will make me... clean?]] [[01about_fiber<-What about fiber?]] [[01about_whole<-So do I put the whole fruit in the thingy or what?]] [[01about_protein<-What about protein?]] [[01about_loss<-I can't lose weight. Can juicing help me?]] [[01about_food<-Don't you miss Funyuns and stuff?]] [[01about_sunnyd<-All this juicing seems like hard work. Can't I just chug a Sunny D?]] [[01about_return<-Well, I'm sold! Let's get started.]]

Excellent. Now that you are ready to begin your path, I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath. And as you exhale, think about your intentions for your juice journey, and keep it in your mind. [[01clenase<-I want to do a cleanse.]] [[01loss<-I want to lose weight.]] [[01rainbow<-I want to eat the rainbow!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. What will you add next? [[cleanse_kale_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_kale_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_kale_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_kale_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_kale_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. What else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_garlic_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_garlic_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_garlic_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_garlic_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_garlic_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. So, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_jalapeno_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... anyway, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_carrot_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_carrot_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_carrot_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_carrot_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_carrot_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! Okay, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_ginger_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_ginger_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_ginger_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_ginger_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_ginger_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. Cool, then, what else should we throw in this juice? [[cleanse_cucumber_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_cucumber_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_cucumber_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_cucumber_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_cucumber_ginger<-Ginger]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. What else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_kale_garlic_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_kale_garlic_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_kale_garlic_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_kale_garlic_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. So, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_kale_jalapeno_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_kale_jalapeno_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_kale_jalapeno_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_kale_jalapeno_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... anyway, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_kale_carrot_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_kale_carrot_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_kale_carrot_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_kale_carrot_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! Okay, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_kale_ginger_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_kale_ginger_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_kale_ginger_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_kale_ginger_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. Cool, then, what else should we throw in this juice? [[cleanse_kale_cucumber_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_kale_cucumber_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_kale_cucumber_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_kale_cucumber_ginger<-Ginger]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. So, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_garlic_jalapeno_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_garlic_jalapeno_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_garlic_jalapeno_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_garlic_jalapeno_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... anyway, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_garlic_carrot_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_garlic_carrot_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_garlic_carrot_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_garlic_carrot_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! Okay, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_garlic_ginger_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_garlic_ginger_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_garlic_ginger_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_garlic_ginger_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. Cool, then, what else should we throw in this juice? [[cleanse_garlic_cucumber_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_garlic_cucumber_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_garlic_cucumber_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_garlic_cucumber_ginger<-Ginger]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... anyway, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_jalapeno_carrot_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_carrot_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_carrot_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_carrot_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! Okay, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_jalapeno_ginger_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_ginger_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_ginger_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_ginger_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. Cool, then, what else should we throw in this juice? [[cleanse_jalapeno_cucumber_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_cucumber_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_cucumber_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_cucumber_ginger<-Ginger]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... anyway, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_cucumber_carrot_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_cucumber_carrot_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_cucumber_carrot_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_cucumber_carrot_ginger<-Ginger]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! Okay, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_cucumber_ginger_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_cucumber_ginger_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_cucumber_ginger_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_cucumber_ginger_carrot<-Carrot]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... anyway, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_ginger_carrot_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_ginger_carrot_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_ginger_carrot_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_ginger_carrot_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. What will you add next? [[cleanse_ginger_kale_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_ginger_kale_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_ginger_kale_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_ginger_kale_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. What else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_ginger_garlic_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_ginger_garlic_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_ginger_garlic_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_ginger_garlic_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. So, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_ginger_jalapeno_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_ginger_jalapeno_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_ginger_jalapeno_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_ginger_jalapeno_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. Cool, then, what else should we throw in this juice? [[cleanse_ginger_cucumber_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_ginger_cucumber_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_ginger_cucumber_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_ginger_cucumber_carrot<-Carrot]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. What will you add next? [[cleanse_jalapeno_kale_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_kale_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_kale_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_kale_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. What else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_jalapeno_garlic_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_garlic_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_garlic_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_jalapeno_garlic_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. What will you add next? [[cleanse_garlic_kale_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_garlic_kale_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_garlic_kale_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_garlic_kale_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. What will you add next? [[cleanse_carrot_kale_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_carrot_kale_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_carrot_kale_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_carrot_kale_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. What else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_carrot_garlic_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_carrot_garlic_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_carrot_garlic_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_carrot_garlic_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. So, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_carrot_jalapeno_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_carrot_jalapeno_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_carrot_jalapeno_ginger<-Ginger]] [[cleanse_carrot_jalapeno_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! Okay, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_carrot_ginger_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_carrot_ginger_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_carrot_ginger_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_carrot_ginger_cucumber<-Cucumber]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. Cool, then, what else should we throw in this juice? [[cleanse_carrot_cucumber_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_carrot_cucumber_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_carrot_cucumber_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_carrot_cucumber_ginger<-Ginger]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. What will you add next? [[cleanse_cucumber_kale_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_cucumber_kale_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_cucumber_kale_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_cucumber_kale_ginger<-Ginger]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. What else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_cucumber_garlic_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_cucumber_garlic_jalapeno<-Jalapeno]] [[cleanse_cucumber_garlic_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_cucumber_garlic_ginger<-Ginger]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. So, what else would you like in your juice? [[cleanse_cucumber_jalapeno_kale<-Kale]] [[cleanse_cucumber_jalapeno_garlic<-Garlic]] [[cleanse_cucumber_jalapeno_carrot<-Carrot]] [[cleanse_cucumber_jalapeno_ginger<-Ginger]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_garlic_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_garlic_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_garlic_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_cucumber_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Jalapeno is full of vitamin C and capaicin, which really gets your blood flowing. Blood is the life, as I like to say. Also, I think I read something that said the spicy quality of capaicin scares cancer cells away? I mean, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not promising you anything, but I'm pretty sure drinking this will stop you from getting cancer. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_cucumber_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

The juicer makes a loud, but relaxing sound. Pretty loud, now that you think about it, actually. Your juice guide pushes plants into a tube with some kind of plunger thingy. Your ingredients disappear into the grinder like tree branches into a magic wood-chipper, and an elixir drips into the measuring cup below. [[juicefin_kale_garlic_ginger_01<-Only one thing remains to be done...]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_cucumber<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_garlic_jalapeno<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_cucumber<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_jalapeno_cucumber<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_cucumber<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Cool beans, dude. Carrots are like, the backbone of juicing. Sweet, but full of vitamins that fight free radicals and are good for like, your eyes or something. Dude, did you used to watch Buggs Bunny cartoons? Did you know the guy who did his voice was allergic to carrots? They had to have a stunt double eat all the carrots, isn't that crazy? Oh my god, have you seen the weird racist ones they don't play anymore? They're all on Youtube, dude, check it out... I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_cucumber_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_cucumber_ginger<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Awesome! Kale is a superfood, but because it has so many vitamins that fight free radicals and tastes so good at the same time, I like to call it a super-duper food. When I'm not juicing, I like to dehydrate my kale in the oven at 98 degrees for several hours, which means it's technically still raw because it's like, the same temperature as your body and so it's really gentle, but it tastes exactly like tortilla chips but better. You can even put brewer's yeast on it and it's nachos! Anyway, I guess I kinda have the munchies. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_kale_jalapeno_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Ooh, I love this one! Garlic is really, really, good for you and will give your juice a little kick. Plus it will keep sexy vampires away. Just kidding! It will keep sexy mosquitos away, and possibly sexy humans, too. But man, I love garlic, I'm so jealous of you. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_garlic_jalapeno_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Nice. Ginger is so delicious, it's the main ingredient in ginger ale! In fact, if you get a craving for soda, just chew on a ginger root! Ginger will put a little kick in your juice, and is really good for you if you have any stomach problems. It's an anti-inflamatory, too. I guess a lot of the stuff in here is anti-inflamatory, not that you'll need it because like, all inflamation is caused by meat and dairy. Juicers don't get inflamed. In the meantime, this stuff will make your juice practically taste like ginger ale! I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_ginger_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]

Oh yeah, good choice. Cucumbers are so refreshing. I bet they would be really good shaken really cold with some gin, not that I would know because alcohol is a toxin that I never, ever drink. Not even on Fridays for happy hour after a long week at the juice bar. It has anti-inflamatory, anti-aging, and anti-oxidant qualities, you know, all the good anti-stuff. I think when you're a more advanced juicer, you can add more ingredients, but let's just start with the three, okay? Okay, ready for some juicin'? [[juicefin_jalapeno_cucumber_carrot<-I came here to juice and chew bubblegum, and this bubblegum isn't organic!]]