Garden Party OOMs

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/tY7akU1.gif" alt="Sollux descends, flanked by Nepeta and Feferi. They are dressed as pirates for some reason." /> (If you don't remember how you got here, you may want to [[recall the recent past|>Karkat: First, go to sleep. Second, try to dream of Sollux.]]) "SO THIS IS WHERE YOU'VE BEEN HIDING." The conversation is taking place on Karkat's landing slat, but like any location with more than one ghost in it, its substance is... mutable. If there were a LOT of them, it would default into the empty desert of neutral terrain, but four is just enough for chaos. Sollux's idiotic two-head lusus is chained up over there, and colorful cuttlefish swim in and out of the bars of their cages completely unrestrained. Karkat's landing slat never had a firepit, either. "thii2 ii2 iit," Sollux agrees. "the la2t homely hou2e." "YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, IT IS HOMELY AS FUCK," Karkat agrees. Nepeta darts off, chasing a particularly bright cuttlefish through the air, because ghosts can fly. Feferi chases after her. Karkat half expects Sollux to follow and the whole thing to turn into a dumb game of tag, but he just waves after them and settles onto a log. "don't miind them, they went through 2ome weiird 2hiit," Sollux says. "iit can be awkward for them two talk wiith anyone who ii2nt natiively at home wiith biifurcatiion." [[>Karkat: Continue conversation]] [[>Nepeta: What are you up to?]]

You exit your hive and make your way across the field to Tavros's. But he's not there.  <img src="http://i.imgur.com/MFxzY4S.gif" alt="Karkat stands in the field next to the scarecrow" /> Tavros is fucking around up there enjoying his ability to fly and his too-short shorts. Goddamnit, Tavros. Get down here and face the music. [[>Examine effigy]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/vLo18a4.gif" alt="Karkat takes a closer look at the scarecrow" /> This is a perfectly normal dread effigy, erected here not to scare off feathery assholes but probably for Tavros to pummel mercilessly while he practiced with his lance. The wheelchair ruts in the ground confirm it. Just a little meaningless detail from Tavros' memories of his hive. Hang on... [[>Examine sweater.]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/r1sgvYR.gif" alt="Karkat takes an even closer look at the scarecrow, which is glowing red for some reason" /> This looks familiar... it's like... there's a discontinuity here. This isn't Tavros's memory. Is that... [[>HONK]]

It seems like this memory is too important to remember right now! There's a lot of other stuff going on and it's probably not the best time. Let's come back to this later. [[>Skip ahead.]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/tNsIR1L.gif" alt="Karkat pops out of his cocoon like a gopher" /> Damn it! Looks like we skipped too far ahead. We'll have to hear about that conversation with Tavros later. [[>Nepeta: What are you up to?]] [[>Karkat: Recall the recent past]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/Ab9RWky.gif" alt="Nepeta sleeps on an adorable plush pile"> The mountainous forest outside your cave is alive with the usual noises of the early night: leaves rustling, water rushing, creatures hunting and being hunted. Something brightly colored flits through the air, moving more like a fish than a bird, but irresistible either way. Your first pounce misses, but that's all right; that just gives you more time to play. You chase the colorful prey through the trees, leaping over underbrush and dodging around poisonous thorns and grabbing branches, until the forest gradually-suddenly (in the way of dreamscapes) turns into a suburban lawnring. There's a half-familiar figure there, in a black hat and a long black coat with silver buttons, chasing another of the flitting bird-fish-things through the air, right up until it sees you and stares wide-eyed. It's familiar, all right. It's you. [[>8OO<]]

<img src="http://progressive.netshow.ninemsn.com.au/media2/664969388001/2014/08/664969388001_3750400382001_8049376-20140827-081921-VIDEO-STILL.jpg?pubId=664969388001" width=650px alt="A cat is startled by its reflection in a mirror."> <img src="http://i.imgur.com/2FyQLpt.gif" alt="The Nepeta with a captain's hat is startled to meet a Nepeta without one."> [[>:DD<]]

<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PnyZFiGcxuk/T9ZFYe5rcOI/AAAAAAAAhgw/J560JSGhrOo/s1600/6dScaredycat.jpg" width=650px alt="A cat is delighted by its reflection in a mirror."> <img src="http://i.imgur.com/3nadjfe.gif" alt="The Nepeta without a captain's hat is delighted to meet one with a captain's hat."> [[>:DD< 8DD< :VV< 8VV< :33< 8PP< :OO< 8OO< ;33<]]

<Img src="http://i.imgur.com/o8dFNJm.gif" alt="Nepeta wakes up back in her cave and drops a captain's hat."> You wake up in your cave after a series of unimportant dreams that will no doubt prove completely trivial in support of anybody's storyline. [[>Hang on, what happened with Karkat?|>Karkat: Continue conversation]]

>Karkat: First, go to sleep. Second, try to dream of Sollux. <img src="http://i.imgur.com/tNsIR1L.gif?1" alt="Karkat dunks himself into his gross cocoon and prepares to sleep."> <img src="http://i.imgur.com/9CYxh0z.gif?1" alt="Karkat falls asleep surrounded by slime and focusing on Sollux"> [[>ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ|>Karkat: Get some programming done]]</a>

<img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02025_1.gif" alt=""Karkat sits at his computer"> <img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02025_2.gif" alt="He opens a frankly feeble attempt at ~ath coding"> Finally some peace and quiet. Now you can bear down on your coding. This will surely last all evening, without interruption. You reopen one of your ~ATH projects you started recently. You are still horsing around with the conditions for terminating the loops. What many ~ATH coders do is import finite constructs and bind the loops to their lifespan. For instance the main loop here will terminate on the death of the universe, labeled U. That way you only have to wait billions of years for it to end instead of forever. You have bound a subloop to the lifespan of the code's author, which is you. Any routine at the end will execute when you die. You figure this might be handy for coding something to release a final will and testament. Or maybe some doomsday virus. You spend a lot of time thinking of ways to make the perfect doomsday virus. Conveniently absent from ~ATH's extensive import library are entities with short lifespans. Like a rapidly decaying particle that only lasts a millisecond sure would be handy. Or even a fruit fly or something. But no, coding with this language is all about finding ways to trick it into doing what you want. Your hacker buddy is obnoxiously good at it. He's sent you some files which you still don't understand, but you're not going to admit that. He is even better at making viruses than you, which really gets stuck in your nook. [[>Karkat: Check out one of his files.]]

<img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02026.gif" alt="Karkat examines a much more sophisticated file"> This code, when executed, immediately causes the user's computer to explode, and places a curse on the user forever, along with everyone he knows, and everyone he'll ever meet. Not surprisingly, later on you would run this code in a fit of stupidity. You don't know how he does stuff like this. What does this even mean? It's nonsense. Is it even syntactically viable?? Are you allowed to color text like that??? ARGH. Maybe you should ask him about it some time. Oh speak of the devil. Here he is bugging you about something. Time to put on your game face and pretend you don't think very highly of his abilities. [[>Karkat: Answer troll]]

<img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02027.gif" alt="Karkat types, strenuously" /> twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] TA: KK dont fliip your 2hiit about thii2 but iim 2ettiing you up two play a game wiith 2ome people. CG: WHY WOULD I FLIP MY SHIT ABOUT THAT. TA: becau2e you fliip your 2hiit about everythiing. CG: WELL WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS. CG: HERE IS MY SHIT, AND YET IT REMAINS UNFLIPPED. CG: JUST SITTING THERE ON THE SKILLET, GETTING BURNED ON ONE SIDE. CG: IT'S A MIRACLE. TA: oh no are you iinto miiracle2 now two becau2e iif you are youre fiired preemptiively from the game. CG: FUCK NO. TA: ok niice. CG: MIRACLES ARE LIKE POOP STAINS ON GOD'S UNDERWEAR. TA: eheheh makiing fun of people2 reliigiion2 i2 the be2t thiing two do. CG: THAT'S WHY HE HIDES THEM, THEY'RE FUCKING EMBARRASSING. CG: GOD LAUNDERS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. TA: eheheheheh riight on but let2 2hut our mouth2 a 2econd and talk about thii2 game. TA: iitll only be a 2econd really you dont have two do two much. CG: OK, GOOD, BECAUSE I'M PRETTY BUSY TONIGHT. CG: WHAT IS THIS THING ANYWAY, WHY ALL THE SECRECY. TA: well the 2hort 2tory ii2 that iit2 an iimmer2iive 2iimulatiion that you play wiith a group. TA: the long 2tory ii2 that the fate of our ciiviiliizatiion depend2 on u2 playiing iit. TA: heh ii gue22 the long one wa2 2horter than the 2hort one FUCK. CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE MELODRAMATIC BULLSHIT BUT COMING FROM YOU COLOR ME UNSURPRISED. TA: 2crew you vanta2 thii2 2hiit2 more real than kraft grub2auce. CG: AND IT TRULY WAS. TA: 0h okay are y0u done pretending to be past uses n0w? [[>Karkat: Abandon subterfuge]]

<img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02010.gif"alt="Karkat types less strenuously"> CG: FUCK YOU, IT WAS A GOOD ONE AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE I GOT ALL MY BEST LINES IN CG: ALSO HOLY SHIT IS THAT HOW YOU TALK NOW? CG: LIKE YOUR SPOOKY EX-GIRLFRIEND? TA: hey fuck you vantas y0u are the one wh0 knocked my teeth 0ut and destroyed my sexy lisp TA: and i guess y0ure not resp0nsible for me being blinded but y0u sure as shit didnt do shit ab0ut it CG: LOOK. ERIDAN WAS MY FRIEND TOO. CG: I WAS IN A REALLY AWKWARD POSITION. CG: AND I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO FLY OFF THE HANDLE THAT WAY. CG: IT WAS LIKE THE HANDLE WAS... CG: FUCK I DON'T KNOW. YOU WERE ALWAYS BETTER AT THOSE METAPHORS THAN ME. AND ALSO, THIS IS TOO SAD. CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE, BECAUSE I JUST STOOD THERE AND WATCHED IT HAPPEN? TA: holy fuck kk i w0uld not have teased y0u about it if i knew y0u were going t0 get so almighty sensitive TG: look ii wiill type the way ii u2ed two for old time2 2ake, ii2 that better? CG: YES CG: I KNOW YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF ME BUT IT ACTUALLY IS BETTER CG: YOU WERE MY BEST BRO SOLLUX AND I DID NOT WANT YOU TO GET BLINDED OR KILL YOURSELF GETTING US OUT OF THE SESSION CG: AND THEN YOU WEREN'T *REALLY* DEAD BUT YOU TOOK OFF ANYWAY AND THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS CG: THERE IS A LOT OF STUFF I NEVER GOT TO SAY CG: OR ASK YOU ABOUT CG: LIKE DID YOU REALLY BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED WITH ERIDAN CG: SO WHEN YOU FINALLY SHOW UP AND YOU START RIGHT IN ON THAT IT'S JUST CG: NOT THAT FUNNY OKAY? TG: wow TG: kk you have got two chiill out TG: ii am 2uppo2ed two be the biipolar one TG: obviiou2ly there are no hard feeliing2 between u2 becau2e we are bro2 TG: there really arent even hard feeliing2 between me and eriidan now that we are both dead TG: iif he was here ii would give hiim a friiendly bro hug bunp TG: riight down a fliight of fuckiing 2taiir2 becau2e fuck that raci2t mermaiid a22hole CG: UH CG: OKAY? TG: look kk the fact i2, 2ome people you cant help becau2e they are iintentiionally garbage, they are liiterally tra2h on purpo2e (AC&colon; 833< on porpoise?) (CC&colon; 38DD on purrpose!) TG: but the fact that you kept on tryiing two help them anyway ii2 probably the reason you were our leader TG: even iif iit only ever ends in tragedy for you TG: that iis why you need other more cyniical people around you when thiings go 2iideway2 TG: but as long as you remaiin a hiigh value target for hot giirl2 who are free wiith theiir weapon2 ii think you wiill be fiine (CC&colon; 38DD )(ee) (AC&colon; 833< hee) (CC&colon; 38DD )(EE--------------------E) CG: WHAT THE *FUCK* TG: ladiie2 ii thiink youre freakiing hiim out [[>Karkat: Leave your room.]]

<img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02003_1.gif" alt="Karkat walks out of a door." /> <img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02003_2.gif" alt="He is standing on the landing of a large hive with big red pennants. Similar houses are in the distance." /> You step outside your respiteblock, onto one of your hive's numerous extraterraneal landing slats. [[>Karkat: Examine neighborhood]]

<img src="http://cdn.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02004_1.gif" alt="Karkat looks around with his giant yellow eyes." /> <img src="http://i.imgur.com/4rb0sO5.gif" alt="This is not his neighborhood. His memory of his neighborhood is fused with a more rural memory. There is a large field with a scarecrow in it, and a barn, and a hive with a windmill. Tavros's shadow is flying over there for whatever reason" /> "2up." [[>Sollux & Ladies: Descend]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/BHVNuXM.gif" alt="Karkat's landing slat is getting very complicated. Feferi is flying over the house."> "WHAT IS GOING ON THERE, IS NEPETA YOUR KISMESIS NOW? I CAN'T EVEN SEE THAT. OR... I DON'T EVEN KNOW, RED AND PALE?" They seemed rather... cuddly, for either to be pale. "kk can you get over your2elf, we are all dead here and 2o ii2 our dumb ciiviiliizatiion, we dont have two worry about that riidiiculou2 hor2e2hiit anymore. if you ab2olutely need two put iit iinto a box you could 2ay that we occupy 2ome kind of notiional quadrant liike a pale clover, where ii help them remember how two functiion a2 two people iin2tead of one and they help me not walk iinto fuckiing wall2." He gingerly peels off the dual eyepatches he's wearing, revealing the seared black holes Eridan left of his eyes. "or even more 2iimply, that they are both my mate2priit." "THAT IS COMPLETELY FUCKING GROTESQUE AND UNSEEMLY, WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SHIT." Karkat gapes. "youre riight, what wiill the neiighbor2 thiink? oh waiit the only neiighbor is tavro2 and he doe2nt give two 2hiits. grow up dude." Karkat cross his arms sulkily, then settles into a squat across the fire. "WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH TAVROS, OF ALL PEOPLE?" "iit was hii2 iidea to baiil on vrii2ka and her dumb 2cheme2, and ii frankly cant beliieve ii hung out and went along wiith iit a2 long a2 ii diid. ii gue22 ii wa2 ju2t taggiing along after aa and feeliing a liittle biit of the post-deceased agency blue2." "BUT YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY DEAD." Sollux sighs. "clo2e enough, kk. how many tiime2 doe2 a guy have two diie two get 2ome peace and quiiet? that ii2 what thiis place ii2, iit ii2 well off the beaten track and out2iide of englii2h'2 bla2t radiiu2. feferii got the god2 two set iit up for u2 and ii diid a liittle doom proofiing my2elf. ii thiink iit may even 2urviive the grand fiinale. maybe aa can joiin u2 once 2he get2 her fiirework2 2how." "WAIT, WHAT IS THAT? DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FUTURE? I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FUTURE ANYMORE. WHAT IS COMING NEXT?" Sollux shrugs. "ii know a liittle about the future because ii am 2tiill a guy of doom and becau2e from here everythiing ii2 kind of laiid out, tiimewii2e. we are, liike, notiionally occuppyiing a zone at one far end of paradox 2pace about a2 far from the actiion a2 anyone can po22iibly be. iit wiill all make 2en2e when you 2ee the map. ii am tryiing to avoiid propheciie2 the2e day2 tho, huge fuckiin wa2te of tiime." Karkat gnashes his fangs. "I SEE THAT, AND INSTEAD YOU ARE SPECIALIZING IN CRYPTIC BUFFOONERY. HOW CAN YOU EVEN SEE WHAT GOING TO HAPPEN WITHOUT ANY FUCKING EYES? I REFUSE TO BELIEVE YOU SIT HERE AND SMELL THE FUTURE. AND WILL YOU PUT YOUR SHADES ON AT LEAST, YOUR SMOKING HOPEHOLES ARE MAKING ME SICK." Sollux laughs, and pulls out his bi-colored sunglasses. "ehehe. ii can 2en2e the 2hape2 of thing2 out there iin the crack2 iin 2pace, liike readiing the 2tar2. tavro2 never 2topped mappiing them even after vrii2ka lo2t iinterest, and now we have the most comprehen2iive map2 of paradox 2pace po22iible, except they are a me22, 2cattered over a bunch of diifferent piiece2 of paper." Karkat grimaces, the expression of a guy with his bulge caught in the gears of temporal shenanigans. "CAN I SEE THESE MAPS?" "you wiill have two talk two tavro2 about that. you probably 2hould anyway, ii thiink you wiill be 2urprii2ed wiith hiim, kk. but before you go let me 2ee that program you need help wiith okay?" "YOU FUCK, YOU DID NOT SEE THAT IN THE CRACKS, YOU HACKED MY MEMOS DIDN'T YOU??" Sollux snickers. "maybe." "THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE!" Karkat splutters. "nothiing ii2 priivate for the greate2t hacker of all tiime, kk, when wiill you learn thii2." "THIS IS INFURIATING, TALKING TO YOU IS INFURIATING, I CANNOT *BELIEVE* I MISSED THIS." "aww ii mii22ed you two kk." [[>Karkat: Visit Tavros]]

It seems like this dream is too unimportant to remember right now! There's a lot of other stuff going on and it's probably not the best time. Let's come back to this later. Or not. Whatever. [[>Skip to waking up]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/kKlZvAL.gif" alt="A flashing image where a version of Karkat with a worse haircut is scared by a skeleton clown"> [[>FUCK]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/p7Dyz0F.gif" alt="Karkat stands in front of the scarecrow and the stuff below happens"> A strife specibus card and the little fragment of memory fall away from the effigy. You scoop them up. You warily try to examine the memory more closely. [[>Seer: Remember]]

(if: (page-url:) contains "?1")[ I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends [[A chance to share old memories and play our songs again|>Sollux & Ladies: Descend]] ] (else-if: (page-url:) contains "?2")[ But it's all right now, i learned my lesson well. [[You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself|>Karkat: Recall the recent past]] ] (else-if: (page-url:) contains "?3")[(go-to: ">Karkat: Recall the distant past")] (else-if: (page-url:) contains "?4")[(go-to: ">Karkat: Consult an expert")] (else:)[ Question: How is it that Sollux is mackin on all the troll ladies, and yet manages to have so little screentime? Hussie: Sollux macks twofold. We do not see his activity very often because it is [[TOO HOT FOR THE WEB.|>Karkat: First, go to sleep. Second, try to dream of Sollux.]] ]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/M2e6ul9.gif" alt="Karkat is standing in the field with the scarecrow. Tavros approaches." /> Looks like Tavros snuck up on you while you were standing there remembering stuff that didn't happen to you. ([[Recall the marginally less recent past.|>Sollux & Ladies: Descend]]) "OH. HEY. SO, HI." "uHH, hEY kARKAT," Tavros gives a wave that's clearly supposed to be jaunty but misses by a few percentage points. His lusus hovers by his shoulder for a moment, looking faintly concerned, then flits away to join a swarm of flying cuttlefish in the distance. “IS THIS WHAT YOUR HIVE WAS LIKE? YOU REALLY WERE A HEMORRHOID IN THE ASS END OF LITERALLY FUCK ALL, WEREN'T YOU?" Karkat is not great at small talk. Still, this goes a long way to explaining how Tavros lasted so long without getting culled. "EVEN A WINDMILL SO YOU DIDN'T NEED TO RELY ON THE ELECTRICAL INFRASTRUCTURE." "yEAH, tHAT WAS, uHH, pRETTY CONVENIENT REALLY," Tavros has never been great at small talk either. "sO ..., wHAT BRINGS YOU, hERE, tO MY CORNER OF NOPLACE IN PARTICULAR?" “OH--I WAS HUNTING FOR SOLLUX, FOR... PREDESTINATION REASONS... AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GHOST ARMY HAS GOTTEN PRETTY INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING TO HANG OUT WITH." Karkat frowns. “I NEEDED A BREAK." "yEAH, tHAT'S," Tavros fidgets in place. "kIND OF NEVER NOT BEEN TRUE, aBOUT HANGING OUT WITH THE GHOST ARMY, bEING DEPRESSING," "YEAH, I MEAN, BECAUSE OF THE... AGENCY QUESTION..." It's an awkward topic; Vriska and Aranea's decision to congregate and direct the ghosts via mind control, and their own individual complicity in that. "BUT I MEAN, ESPECIALLY SO, SINCE THE SERKETS FUCKED OFF." "uHH," Tavros blinks, looking unnerved. "tHE sERKETS, uM, dID WHAT?" "OH HOLY SHIT, DID YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? IT'S THIS WHOLE TREMENDOUS.... DEAL." "ARANEA MADE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION THAT SHE SHOULD STEAL SOME GODDAMN MAGICAL BULLSHIT RING THAT A WINDY IDIOT LEFT LYING AROUND UNATTENDED AND COME BACK TO LIFE. SHE HAD THIS WHOLE PLAN THAT SINCE THE ALPHA TIMELINE REQUIRED LORD ENGLISH WINNING, SHE WOULD CREATE A DOOMED TIMELINE AND THEN... FORCIBLY UNDOOM IT? IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS PRETTY REASONABLE TO ME BUT SHE DIDN'T, LIKE, TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT FIRST, SHE JUST SERKETED RIGHT IN AND STARTED FUCKING EVERYTHING UP." "tHAT, dEFINITELY SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING, a sERKET WOULD DO, wITH THE STEALING A MAGICAL BULLSHIT RING, wHO EVEN DOES THAT." Tavros scuffs one foot over the wheelruts in the grass, avoiding Karkat's eyes. "aND, uHH, wHAT ABOUT vRISKA?" "OH MY GOD, VRISKA... VRISKA GOT SO AMAZINGLY NOOK-HURT ABOUT THIS DEVELOPMENT THAT SHE JUST... WANDERED OFF!" Karkat rips his fingers through his hair. "FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK SHE WAS UP TO CONTROLLING THE GHOSTS WITHOUT ARANEA ANYWAY. MEENAH WENT WITH HER, SO NOW IT IS JUST A BUNCH OF DEAD IDIOTS MILLING AROUND." "oH," Tavros frowns down at nothing in particular. "tHAT, sEEMS LIKE A THING THAT WOULD BE DEPRESSING, iN A WHOLE NEW AND DIFFERENT WAY," "YES, NO SHIT," Karkat says wryly. "I AM TRYING TO KEEP THEM ORGANIZED SO THAT MAYBE THEY CAN DO SOMETHING USEFUL. I MEAN, I KNOW LORD ENGLISH EATS GHOSTS FOR BREAKFAST AND MAYBE THEY ARE ALL A LONG WAY PAST THEIR EXPIRATION DATE, BUT AREN'T WE ALL?"  "I FEEL LIKE THERE MUST BE *SOMETHING* YOU CAN DO WITH A BILLION GHOSTS. BUT MAYBE THEY DON'T AGREE. OR--" He stares off into space for a moment "TAVROS, BE STRAIGHT WITH ME, DID YOU EVER FEEL LIKE MY LEADERSHIP STYLE WAS.... 'ABRASIVE' OR 'NEEDLESSLY HOSTILE' OR 'OFFENSIVE TO THE AURAL SPONGECLOTS'?" Tavros gives him a deeply uncertain look. "uHH, i DON'T THINK ANY OF THOSE, aRE THINGS i WOULD EVER HAVE FELT, iN THOSE WORDS," "WELL, ANYWAY, THE REFERENDUM WAS PRETTY RESOUNDING. EVERYONE WOULD RATHER STAY PARKED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE OR WANDER OFF TO BE POLISHED OFF INDIVIDUALLY THAN SUBMIT TO A SINGLE MINUTE MORE OF VANTAS LEADERSHIP. AND TO BE HONEST, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE VRISKA PLANNED ON STAGING HER FINAL CONFRONTATION ANYWAY! SO ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS IN ABJECT HUMILIATION AND MASSIVE CASUALTIES, AS THEY SAY." Nobody says that. "LOOK, SOLLUX SAYS YOU'VE GOT SOME MAPS." It's a pretty abrupt shift in topic, but Karkat is pretty bummed about the ghosts. "uHH, yES?," "CAN I GET THEM?" he says. "YOUR MAPS. APPARENTLY I'M GOING TO NEED THEM, I'VE GOT MY GLOBES CAUGHT PRETTY TIGHT IN SOME TEMPORAL FUCKERY HERE. I KNOW A GUY WHO IS GOING TO SYNTHESIZE THEM TOGETHER, OR, ALREADY DID." "i gUESS, sURE? uHH, lET ME, gO AND GET THEM," He pushes off from the ground with one foot and soars up toward the top of the windmill, arms spread for balance in the air, tilting slightly to bank against a breeze. Seeing Tavros looking actually happy is unfamiliar, and makes Karkat feel weird. He doesn't look nervous or like he's going to run away or anything! He vanishes behind the windmill's slowly whirling blades, and after a few minutes emerges again, flying a little more slowly and awkwardly because of the heavy chest he's carrying. "oKAY, uHH, tHEY'RE ALL IN HERE, i THINK," He sets the chest down in front of Karkat and touches down himself a moment later, hands still resting on the curved lid. "sO, wHAT DID YOU SAY, yOU NEEDED THESE FOR, aGAIN," "THIS GUY I KNOW WHO IS ACTUALLY PRETTY TERRIBLE IS GOING TO SYNTHESIZE THEM TOGETHER INTO ONE BIG MAP SO WE CAN CHART THE PATH OF LORD ENGLISH, WHERE HE IS HEADING AND WHERE HE CAME FROM. I DON'T KNOW WHY I WANT THEM BUT FUTURE ME WAS PRETTY CLEAR ABOUT IT. AND SOLLUX CHIMED IN WITH SOME CRYPTIC HOGWASH ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH IT, SO, FUCK ME I GUESS, RIGHT?" He shrugs. "IF I COULD GET THE GHOSTS TO LISTEN TO ME LIKE, AT ALL ANYMORE, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE GREAT TO KNOW WHERE THE LAST SHOWDOWN IS GOING TO BE STAGED. I'M SURE SOONER OR LATER VRISKA WILL GET OVER HER MILLION YEAR SULK AND CROP UP THERE, WHERE EVER THERE IS." "eXCEPT, tHERE MAYBE WON'T BE A LAST SHOWDOWN, iF THEY DON'T LISTEN," He looks ... troubled is probably the word for it, as he opens the chest and rummages in it for the maps. "bUT IF FUTURE YOU SAYS, yOU'RE GOING TO NEED THESE, tHEN MAYBE THAT MEANS, tHERE WILL BE?," "I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT HE WANTED IT FOR. BUT WHO KNOWS! WE ARE ALL AT THE MERCY OF CRYPTIC ASS PROPHETS AND FUTURE ASSHOLES, AS PER ALWAYS." Karkat shrugs uncomfortably. "HEY, DUMB QUESTION, BUT WAS THIS YOUR DREAD EFFIGY?" "uHH, yEAH," He glances at the rag-clad figure with a complicated sort of uneasy fondness. "bACK FROM, bEFORE EVERYTHING, sTARTED HAPPENING SO MUCH," "DO YOU KNOW WHY IT WOULD HAVE A MEMORY FROM ANOTHER SESSION LODGED IN IT? OR... A STRIFE SPECIBUS?" Karkat feels kind of uneasy about showing it to Tavros; it feels... unseemly. Defensive specibi were banned on Alternia with a viciousness reserved for few types of contraband. He shrugs. "nOT, rEALLY? tHE MEMORY'S BEEN THERE FOR, aS LONG AS i'VE BEEN HERE i THINK, bUT i DON'T THINK i EVER SAW, aNYTHING LIKE A STRIFE SPECIBUS THERE, aT ALL," He straightens up with his arms full of maps, and deposits them in a neat heap several feet away from Karkat. "HM." Better not to say anything about it. "MAYBE SOLLUX WILL HAVE SOME IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO SCAN THEM IN FOR A DIGITAL TRANSFER," he says, dragging all the maps into his sylladex. "UH... THANKS." "nO PROBLEM, uHH," He hesitates. Even longer than usual "sO, tHE GHOSTS ,,, wON'T GET ORGANIZED TOGETHER BECAUSE, tHEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU, bEING IN CHARGE?" "NO, THEY JUST... DON'T GIVE A SHIT AND RESENT MY ATTEMPTS TO CONVINCE THEM TO. I AM NOT THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM, I AM JUST INCREDIBLY INEFFECTUAL. SO LET'S GET THAT STRAIGHT." "SOME OF THEM ARE WANDERING OFF TO DO WHATEVER THEY FEEL LIKE DOING, AND OTHERS ARE JUST KIND OF... STANDING THERE, BECAUSE THAT'S THE LAST PLACE THEY WERE STANDING. CHATTERING AND GETTING BOGGED DOWN IN THE SAME DRAMA THAT CONSUMED THEM FOR EONS." "IT SEEMS LIKE MOST OF THEM HAVE GIVEN UP, NOT ONLY ON EVER BEING RELEVANT, BUT PRETTY MUCH ON EXISTING, PERIOD." Karkat looks pretty fucking discouraged himself.  Tavros, by way of contrast, has a look of some slowly coalescing resolve. "mAYBE THEY NEED, sOME WAY TO BELIEVE, tHAT BEING RELEVANT IS SOMETHING THAT COULD BE REAL FOR THEM," "YEAH, I AGREE, BUT I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING FROM SCREAMING TO BEGGING, THAT'S MY ENTIRE SUITE OF TRICKS, SO SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT, I GUESS. IT IS A BRICK WALL THAT I HAVE BEAT MY--WAIT, HOLD ON." "IS THIS JUST AGREEABLE NOISE OR DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE SOMEONE IN MIND? [[>Skip ahead, but carefully this time]]

<a href="http://milliways-bar.dreamwidth.org/26372413.html?thread=1261822013#cmt1261822013">CCG: MAYBE PAST ME HASN'T GOTTEN ALL HIS IMPORTUNATE QUESTIONS OUT OF HIS SYSTEM YET!</a> CCG: HE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN AROUND TO ASKING FOR *YOUR* NAME CCG: I MEAN, YOUR REAL NAME CCG: OOPS, GOTTA GO, THE NEW GENERALISSIMO OF THE GHOST ARMY NEEDS A WORD Karkat pushes the walking laptop over to Sollux. "KEEP AN EYE ON THE MEMO BOARD AND COVER FOR ME IF <a href="http://milliways-bar.dreamwidth.org/26384333.html?thread=1262636237#cmt1262636237">HE COMES BACK, OKAY</a>?" He looks up at the new leader. "YOU READY?" "uHH, i THINK SO," And he looks it, despite his still-hesitant tone; he's standing straighter, shoulders squared, resolved."i'M PRETTY SURE i KNOW, wHAT i'M GOING TO DO, aND i'M GOING TO BELIEVE, aND WISH, tHAT IT WILL WORK THE WAY IT SHOULD," "OKAY! THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LEGITIMATELY TERRIBLE STRATEGY, BUT GIVEN MY COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURES, WHO THE FUCK AM I TO JUDGE? MAYBE WORDS AND SMILES AND... GOD HELP ME, FRIENDSHIP, REALLY WILL DO IT."<div> </div><div> "JUST PROMISE ME, IF THIS WORKS, THAT YOU <a href="http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=009757">REALLY FUCKING STICK IT</a> TO VRISKA WHEN SHE FINALLY SHOWS UP."</div> [[>Skip further ahead]]

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/tNsIR1L.gif" alt="Karkat pops out of his cocoon like a gopher" /> Nice. You're getting the hang of that. [[>Nepeta: What are you up to?]] <a href="http://milliways-bar.dreamwidth.org/26416753.html">>Karkat: First, equip your jauntiest outfit. Second, head down to the bar.</a> [[>Karkat: Consult an expert]]

(click: ?c1)[Your name is KANKRI VANTAS, and you are what some people call the SEER OF BLOOD. You have a passion for SOCIAL JUSTICE. You should really be LAUDED for trying to help the OPPRESSED AND UNFORTUNATE, but for some reason you are not. You like to try and encourage and support, but you are NOTORIOUSLY PRETTY AWFUL AT IT. Your attempts invariably make people feel worse than when you started. As a result you have come to believe it would be best for you to specialize in PROBLEMATICS, the art of figuring how, in any given situation, things aren't being done correctly, and making people feel bad about it. Sometimes you wish you had been born into a different age, where your L9UD, INSUFFERA6LE RANTING would have more worthy targets. You aren't great at dealing with people, or nuance, or dressing yourself, but you are not afraid to speak up when something is wrong, and you believe in fairness and justice. It also might have been better if you weren't CODDLED AND PROTECTED from an early age because of your UNFORTUNATE MUTATION. Everyone says it doesn't make you any less valuable than anyone else, which is why you have to spend so much time being studied by scientists and keeping yourself safe and alone in your room. But none of that matters anymore. Because one day you played a game with 11 other friends, and went on a big adventure with them. And now everybody else is dead. So it probably doesn't matter what kind of offensive language people use. But you can't think like that. If you started thinking like that, you'd probably go insane.] <table><tbody><tr><td td="" valign="top" bgcolor="d3d3d3">SGRUBJAM ▼ ●[cryptoGenealogist]<c1| ▼ CHANNELS (4) #c0m30n4nd`$`l4m #swveetjamz #dr4gon1sl4nd #dr4gon1sl4ndooc ► DIRECT MESSAGES(12)</td><td>@glamAmoratrix ● Online | Porrim Maryam GA: What are yo+u do+ing to+night, ho+n? CG: This again? Y9u d9n't need t9 w9rry a69ut me, y9u kn9w. I am perfectly capa6le 9f 9ccupying myself f9r a single r9tati9n with9ut y9ur relentless 9versight, madam. And I kn9w precisely what y9u are pr96a6ly g9ing t9 say--that y9u can't help 6ut w9rry, that I am 6eset 9n every side 6y 12x pr9t9typed 6ehom9ths and haven't even deigned t9 equip myself a pr9per weap9n. I'm s9rry if it 9ffends y9ur sensi6ilities 9r makes y9u w9rry, 6ut I have t9 say it 9ffends ME that y9u w9uld even 6ring it up and that y9u think s9 little 9f my capacity f9r self pr9tecti9n. Latula has th9r9ughly f9rtified my hive and I am as ever 6earing my shieldkind speci6us. If things truly get t99 h9t t9 handle, my sprite is near6y and my whistle is at the ready. And f9r y9ur inf9rmati9n, t9night 9f all nights I will 6e perfectly secure under the watchful gaze 9f 6l99d s9aked heavyweights 9f the type y9u s9 clearly wish I c9uld 6e. I simply d9n't see why it's necessary f9r y9u t9 6ring up my pacifism and y9ur resulting qualms EVERY time we speak, P9rrim. I feel I must assert a real and c9ncrete 69undary--h9w y9u feel a69ut my strife all9cati9n is y9ur pr96lem, n9t mine. GA: I didn't say anything abo+ut yo+ur strife allo+catio+n, dear. CG: 6ut y9u were g9ing t9. GA: Maybe. CG: Hmph. GA: Who+ are yo+u having o+ver, anyway? CG: 6y which, n9 d9u6t, y9u mean, is this individual a candidate f9r enshrinement in any 9f my f9ur 9h-s9-6enighted quadrants, isn't that the case? Cele6acy is MY CH9ICE, P9rrim, and n9t a pr96lem that needs t9 6e s9lved, and even if it were y9u are certainly the last pers9n I w9uld 6ring my questi9ns t9. N9t that y9u aren't CLEARLY adept in weaving 6etwixt and 6etween the c9nstantly r9tating gates which guard the cham6ers 9f y9ur fickle heart. I certainly didn't mean t9 imply that y9ur recum6ent platf9rms have ever had the chance t9 c99l fr9m lack 9f c9mpani9na6le fricti9n since we 6egan this sessi9n. 9nly that I w9uldn't feel c9mf9rta6le discussing such matters with y9u, 9f all pe9ple, were they t9 unf9ld, which they certainly will n9t, this evening 9r any 9ther. GA: So+ who+ is it? CG: Kurl9z. GA: Ugh. CG: Meulin will als9 6e attending, as his translat9r, s9 t9 speak. GA: It wo+uld be better if yo+u were meeting with Meulin alo+ne... ?>:) CG: P9rrim, please. She's his matesprite. If y9u can't respect my celi6acy at least respect that. GA: I didn't mean it that way. GA: Maybe a little. GA: But mo+stly, that guy just gives me the creeps. Even when she speaks fo+r him I get the vibe he speaks fo+r her if yo+u kno+w what I mean. CG: Is this m9re 9f y9ur gender sensitivity? GA: Maybe. The highblo+o+ds are no+to+rio+us fo+r their sexism. CG: P9rrim, please. That wh9le statement was rife with pr96lematic language. 'High6l**d' is 9utm9ded ver6iage referencing a framew9rk fr9m a less enlightened age. And if y9u're referring t9 their religi9us stipulati9ns regarding the pr9per r9le 9f females within their caste, it is hardly 9ur place t9 judge. GA: Are yo+u saying yo+u're o+kay with it? CG: Well. CG: N9. CG: I'm n9t saying that. CG: 6ut making fun 9f 9ther pe9ple's religi9ns is just a69ut the w9rst thing t9 d9. CG: And different castes have their 9wn unique f9lkways. CG: As s9me9ne with9ut a caste 9f my 9wn I feel that keenly. GA: I do+n't feel like that applies when yo+u're talking abo+ut a caste that has histo+rically ruled everyo+ne else and has an unparalleled o+ppo+rtunity to+ shape o+ur culture o+ver their incredibly extended lifespans. CG: Maybe n9t. But 9n the 9ther fr9nd, their ascendancy ended centuries ag9, and n9w Kurl9z is the 9nly surviving mem6er 9f their traditi9n, s9 the circumstances have changed. In 9ur new civilizati9n perhaps their influence will 6e... diminished. GA: And I will make fun o+f their dumb clo+wn religio+n all day every day until they allo+w females to participate in a ro+le o+ther than half-naked o+rnamentatio+n. CG: That's an aggressive statement c9ming fr9m s9me9ne clad as 6razenly y9u n9 d9u6t are this very m9ment. GA: Kankri Vantas, are yo+u asking me what I'm wearing? GA: ?:0 CG: What CG: I CG: N9 GA: ?>:) CG: Put th9se eyebr9ws away! CG: 96vi9usly the r9le 9f the juggalettes in the Church 9f the Maimed Harlequin, even the Ref9rmed Church, is... CG: Pr96lematic. CG: 6ut that's really neither here n9r there. My meeting t9night isn't a69ut that. GA: Then what is it abo+ut? CG: ...I'm n9t actually sure. CG: Kurl9z suggested it. GA: Hm. GA: Well, message me later just to+ check in, o+kay? GA: I *do+* wo+rry. CG: 9f c9urse I will. 6ut n9w I need t9 g9 and prepare. I d9n't even kn9w what t9 serve. I imagine they eat meat, d9n't they? GA: Ho+w do+es he even eat with his mo+uth stitched shut? CG: I supp9se I'll have the chance t9 find 9ut.</td></tr></tbody></table>

<a href="http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Aranea_Serket"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/W8RXbBm.jpg" alt="Karkat approaches a sad female troll at her advice booth. Rendered in Peanuts-style for some reason" /></a> Karkat! Hello! How nice to see you! Hmmm... that's very interesting. Did you 8ring the [[memory|>Karkat: Recall the distant past]]? Let me examine it.... Oh, I see! Yes, it's true... our Seer of 8lood 8egan the session as a pacifist! Of course, it 8ecame rapidly clear that this strategy, while possi8ly productive on a civilized planet, was a true dead end in a game whose cornerstone is 8loodshed and com8at. Kankri eventually a8andoned the shieldkind strife speci8us for something more suited to a 8attlefield. Kankri took quickly to the pistolkind specibus, 8ecoming even perhaps a little trigger-happy. 8efore long, even the imps knew well to 8eware his hive, and Kankri took to endless practice 8attles against effigies of the type you descri8e. Indeed, Kankri and his war on straw men rapidly 8ecame something of a joke in our session. <img src="http://i.imgur.com/njQpuYD.gif" alt="" /> I suppose the strife speci8us card you found there must 8e his, it's the only logical conclusion for why such a thing would 8e found in the deepest 8ackwaters of Paradox Space, 8undled up with such an effigy and with one of his memories. 8ut I must admit I am mystified as to why it was preserved at all! There is certainly such a thing as the transmission of ancestral artifacts as a sym8ol for the 8urden of deferred destiny passed from ancestor to descendant... 8ut a strife speci8us is not a heirloom, only a 8are acknowledgment of potential, and this certainly seems to 8e one of his less relevant memories! May8e there was something more important after the point where it seems to 8lack out? Out of character? No, I don't 8elieve so... you must remem8er that you know Kankri only after sweeps in a doomed session and untold millennia in the void. He was.... not a *different* person, at the 8eginning of our session, 8ut over time his opinions did 8oth shift and calcify. His patience with Porrim's pet causes diminished, and he 8ecame more open-minded a8out the 8urdens we of the cooler 8lood colors experience in addition to the more o8vious handicaps of the warmer. And I suppose today he would 8e much more sensitive to Porrim's remarks against the juggalo faith! I imagine that if you showed this to him, he would 8e disgusted with his past self, and aghast at the many triggering remarks that passed his notional lips! 8ut people do change, and all of these characteristics were well-developed in him even 8efore our deaths. Hmm? Well, yes, I do 8elieve it's possi8le the Prince of Rage was a contri8utor to Kankri's decision to re-allocate his strife speci8us. I know Kurloz contri8uted Kankri's eventual weapon of choice, <a href="http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Legendary_weapons#Flintlocks_of_Zillyhau">a holy relic of his a8surd religion</a> of which he had long 8een the custodian. So it's likely that the conversation *this* conversation presages is the night Kankri saw the light, so to speak. It's a shame that the rest of the memory is lost... Oh, yes, of course. I understand. It's nice of you to come 8y. I rarely get visitors these days. It does seem unreasona8le. After all, *I'm* not the version of Aranea who made that disastrous decision. Certainly, if I *had* 8een the one to return to life, I would've done things differently. It's o8vious to me that... Oh. All right. Good8ye! Come 8ack any time!