That Boy Is A Monster, Long, Complete.

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<div align='Center'><h1>That Boy Is A Monstr</h1> <h2>By Sav Ferguson</h2> </div> Content Warnings: This story contains: mentions of sex and sexual themes, mention of surgery, transphobia, homophobia, implied violence, swearing and a lot of queer themes. This story is pre-optimised through letter spacing for dyslexic individuals. [[Start Game|start]] [[Credits|credits]] <<set $messages to 3>> <<set $vamp to 0>> <<set $bear to 0>> <<set $selkie to 0>>

Sav Ferguson: <img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNONNqCUMAABkSP.jpg" width="620" height="348" alt="Sav"> Sav is a games developer, writer, programmer, angry activist, queer and trans advocate, journalist, radio presenter and a bit of a nerd. He can usually be found at home, absorbing something horror related and dyeing his hair. Inspiration: More people believe they've met a ghost than they've met a trans person. So, that's pretty fucked up, but here we are honestly. That boy is a monster is based off real life experiences as a trans male. It's an exaggeration on my experiences of dating as a trans male, and the dangers/miscommunication that comes with it. I'm pre-surgery and T, so some is based on friends experiences of the physical changes, as well as research. Credits: Profile pictures of the boys drawn by: Tamara Wardhana. Ending screen drawn by: Sav Ferguson. Big thanks to my playtesters: Peter Giannopoulos Jarryd Worland Daniel Draper Jayden Teekens Ethan Lewis-Garland Bonnie Oliver Rachael Adams Madds Rovere Tamara Wardhana Luis Van Slageren Double big thanks to Luis and Peter for putting up with me while I whinged, moaned and whooped over the creation of this game. References: Andrews, E. (2017). Top 10 Most Famous Cryptids - Toptenz.net. [online] Toptenz.net. Available at: http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-cryptids.php [Accessed 5 Oct. 2017]. Chapel, R. (2017). ChapelR/custom-macros-for-sugarcube-2. [online] GitHub. Available at: https://github.com/ChapelR/custom-macros-for-sugarcube-2/blob/master/scripts/fading-macro-set.js [Accessed 11 Oct. 2017]. Chapel, R. (2017). ChapelR/custom-macros-for-sugarcube-2. [online] GitHub. Available at: https://github.com/ChapelR/custom-macros-for-sugarcube-2 [Accessed 11 Oct. 2017]. Cox, D. (2017). #TwineTuesday: Twine 2 Basics (SugarCube). [online] Digital Ephemera. Available at: https://videlais.com/2015/08/18/twinetuesday-twine-2-basics-sugarcube/ [Accessed 8 Oct. 2017]. Cryptid Wiki. (2017). The Beast of Bray Road. [online] Available at: http://cryptidz.wikia.com/wiki/The_Beast_of_Bray_Road [Accessed 6 Oct. 2017]. En.wikipedia.org. (2017). Maximilien Robespierre. [online] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maximilien_Robespierre [Accessed 8 Oct. 2017]. Hammond, A. (2013). MAKING YOUR TWINE GAME LOOK AWESOME WITH CSS. 3rd ed. [ebook] Adam Hammond. Available at: http://www.adamhammond.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/hammond_twineguide_3_css.pdf [Accessed 4 Oct. 2017]. Kritz, B. (2014). The Global Transgender Population and the International Criminal Court. [ebook] YALE HUMAN RIGHTS & DEVELOPMENT L.J. Available at: http://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1120&context=yhrdlj [Accessed 30 Oct. 2017]. Michaelson, N. (2015). More Americans Claim To Have Seen A Ghost Than Have Met A Trans Person. [online] Huffington Post Australia. Available at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/more-americans-claim-to-have-seen-a-ghost-than-have-met-a-trans-person_us_5677fee5e4b014efe0d5ed62 [Accessed 8 Oct. 2017]. Stackoverflow.com. (2013). CSS: highlighted text effect. [online] Available at: https://stackoverflow.com/questions/18746649/css-highlighted-text-effect [Accessed 11 Oct. 2017]. Twine Forum. (2016). Any dynamic text effect macros for Sugarcube 2.x?. [online] Available at: https://twinery.org/forum/discussion/5625/any-dynamic-text-effect-macros-for-sugarcube-2-x [Accessed 14 Oct. 2017]. W3schools.com. (n.d.). HTML Color Names. [online] Available at: https://www.w3schools.com/colors/colors_names.asp [Accessed 12 Oct. 2017]. Williams, J. (2015). More Americans claim to have seen a ghost than a trans person. [online] PinkNews. Available at: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/12/18/more-americans-claim-to-have-seen-a-ghost-than-a-trans-person/ [Accessed 8 Oct. 2017]. [[Back|That Boy is a Monster]]

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3>New Conversation With: The_Beast_Of_Brey_Road</h3> <div align='right'> <<fadein 0.2 0.5>> <span class="samhighlight">Hey alex, you there? :) :D </span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='left'> <<fadein 1 0.5>> <span class="alexhighlight">yoooo hi, just at work right now. :D what's up handsome?</span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='right'> <<fadein 3 0.5>><span class="samhighlight"> handsome?? /)OoO(\ flirt. Just checking we're still on for our date tonight?? :D </span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='left'> <<fadein 5 0.5>><span class="alexhighlight">Yeah of course, handsome ;) I've been looking forward to it all week! I might be a bit sweaty from work tho- I'll pick you up at 5, yeah?</span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='right'> <<fadein 7.5 0.5>><span class="samhighlight">Charming man! Sweaty is good and fine. uh- I have something I wanna tell you tonight as well. </span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='left'> <<fadein 9.5 0.5>><span class ="alexhighlight"> Can't wait to hear it. Gotta go, someone needs me to spot them. see you then Sam the man ;D </span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='right'> <<fadein 11.5 0.5>><span class= "samhighlight"> See you then, alex the...phallus.</span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='left'> <<fadein 12.5 0.5>><span class ="alexhighlight"> Work on that while I'm working lol </span><</fadein>> </div> <div align='center'> <<fadein 13.5 0.5>>[[Close Monstr|dateprep1]] [[Read Alex's Profile|alexprofile]] [[Check your Profile|samprofile]] <</fadein>> </div>

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/4xHAsty.png" width="600" height="800" alt="Alex's profile picture"> <h3>The_Beast_Of_Brey_Road</h3> <span class="bold">Age:</span> 24 <span class="bold">Height:</span> 192cm <span class="bold">Weight:</span> 80kg <span class="bold">HIV status:</span> Negative <span class="bold">Orientation:</span> Gay <span class="bold">Preferred position:</span> Switch, Top <span class="bold">Looking for:</span> Dates, Fooling around, fun chats, short term dating, serious relationship <span class="bold">Not looking for:</span> Nothing <span class="bold">Relationship style:</span> Monogamous, Open <span class="bold">Bio:</span> Hey! Name's Alex, or The_Beast_Of_Brey_Road (obviously) I'm a personal trainer, so I'm sorry if my muscles intimidate you ;) I promise I'm not a meathead! I just like having a good butt for you to love huge huge HUGE fan of cryptids!!! talk spooky to me!! And not just mothman, gimme your werewolves and vampires and loch ness conspiracies please. El chupacabra? My man. The Jersey devil?? Yes!! if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my cryptids. you get 100+ hot points if you tell me what my name is from! Can also bake you a mean cake. I'm a catch, I know ;D In all seriousness, I'm really not down for anyone rude, mean, or disrespectful. Can do monogamous, can do open relationships. Whatever you're comfortable with. I like making people happy and comfortable. Your smile is my biggest turn on. 40+ please don't interact with me. No dickpics, I beg of you <div align='center'> [[Close Monstr|dateprep1]] [[Read Alex's Profile|alexprofile2]] [[Check your Profile|samprofile]] [[Read Alex's messages again|messagesnoanimation]] </div>

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/0DN82vT.png" width="600" height="800" alt="Sam's profile picture"> <h3>Sam Transforms</h3> <span class="bold">Age:</span> 21 <span class="bold">Height:</span> 165cm <span class="bold">Weight:</span> 98kg <span class="bold">HIV status:</span> Negative, On PReP <span class="bold">Orientation:</span> Pansexual <span class="bold">Preferred position:</span> Bottom <span class="bold">Looking for:</span> Dates, fun chats, serious relationship <span class="bold">Not looking for:</span> Fooling around, time wasting <span class="bold">Relationship style:</span> Monogamous <span class="bold">Bio:</span> Hi! I'm Sam. I only just came out as pansexual, so I'm a little new here, please be kind. Uhhh, I'm a librarian for work and a photographer for fun! I won't do free headshots tho, so don't ask. I DON'T like long walks on the beach, sea creatures freak me the fuck out. Let's go somewhere fun for dinner or a movie!! <span class="bold">Edit:</span> I don't want to just hook up, so don't ask. Dickpics will be deleted. Anyone with any of the following 'preferences' in their bio will be blocked: "No Asians" "no femmes" "no Indians" "no black guys" "only here for trans ppl or crossdressers" "No bi guys" "No fats" "no faggots" "no twinks" Your preferences aren't cute, they're disgusting, racist, internalised homophobia and transphobic. Fight me on this. <div align='center'> [[Close Monstr|dateprep1]] [[Read Alex's Profile|alexprofile]] [[Check your Profile|samprofile2]] [[Read Alex's messages again|messagesnoanimation]] </div>

I chuck the phone away from me onto the bed. With a clunk it bounces off my pillow and lands on the dusty floor. Checking it quickly, I make sure it's not broken and flop onto the bed myself, bouncing in a similar manner. "How am I gonna tell him I'm <span class="trans">trans?</span>" I ask my roof. It doesn't answer me. "Do I tell him on the first date?" "I mean, I'm not REQUIRED to tell him. It's none of his business unless he wants to sleep with me." "Do people usually mention their junk on the first date?" I growl, frustrated and rolling onto my side. My roof has thus far been unhelpful for answering any of my questions. Regardless of if or when I tell him about being <span class= "trans">trans</span>, I have to get to the date first. And that means, [[getting ready.|dateprep2]]

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> Welcome to Monstr, a queer male dating site. All male identifying folk are welcome! <br>Sign up today and sink your fangs into some juicy...conversation. </div> Welcome back, 'SamTransforms'! <<if $messages >1>> You have $messages new messages! <<elseif $messages == 1>> You have $messages new message! <<elseif $messages == 0>> You have no messages! Why not start a conversation? <</if>> <<if $messages > 0 >> [[Check Messages|messages1]] <</if>> [[Message Tonight's Date|start2]]

<<if $vamp ==0>> [[Message from VampiricGarlic|messagevamp]] <</if>> <<if $bear== 0>> [[Message from AngryBear|messagebear]] <</if>> <<if $selkie ==0>> [[Message from xWereSelkiex|messageselkie]] <</if>> <<if $messages==0>> No more messages! [[Back to menu|start]] <</if>> <<if $messages > 0>> [[Close messages|nomore]] <</if>>

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3> New Conversation With: VampiricGarlic</h3> <span class='alexhighlight'>So- do you still bleed? Like, everytime? </span> Ugh. What should I do? [[Delete|messages1]] [[Reply|reply1]] <<set $vamp to 1>> <<set $messages -= 1>>

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3> New Conversation With: AngryBear</h3> <span class='alexhighlight'> You're fucking disgusting.</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> I can't believe you didn't tell me</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> what the fuck is wrong with you</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> fucking fake freak</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> I'm gonna tell everyone what you are</span> I definitely... should not have told him. [[Delete|messages1]] [[Reply|reply2]] <<set $bear to 1>> <<set $messages -= 1>>

<<if $messages >1>> You have $messages new messages! <<elseif $messages == 1>> You have $messages new message! <<elseif $messages == 0>> You have no messages! Why not start a conversation? <</if>> [[Back to menu|start]] <<if $messages > 0 >> [[Check Messages|messages1]] <</if>>

I look at my wardrobe instead. It's a heavy, thick, wooden monstrosity that took 3 people to carry in here. I heave the door open and look through my hanging clothes for inspiration. I know I'm gonna be wearing my jeans- I don't own any others. Now for the top. *[[A vest|wearvest]] *[[My favourite jumper|wearjumper]] *[[A nice red checkered button-up|wearbuttonup]] *[[a comfortable but political shirt|wearpolitical]] ...Okay, I can pick now, or come back to it later. [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe2]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

<<if $bed == "messy">> It's a lumpy mess of pillows, mismatched linen, books and blankets. Should I [[make it|makebed]] before the date? Maybe it'd look better if- IF, Alex came back and my bed was made and inviting? Or maybe it'll look more authentic, like I wasn't expecting him back if I leave it. Or maybe we'll go back to his place? I wonder if he makes his bed. I consider texting him to ask him, but that might be a bit presumptuous of me. <<elseif $bed == "made">> It's made! It looks so neat and good, I'm honestly considering jumping on it to mess it up. <</if>> [[Take a nap|latedate]] [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed2]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

I wander over to my full-length mirror. I'm in a $clothes, with incredible amounts of bedhead. I try to arrange my hair in a nicer way, but only succeed in giving myself a massive cowlick. Pushing it back down, I pull a face at myself. It's like, a queer rite of passage to dye your hair at some point. For trans boys, you've gotta dye it blue. And get an undercut. I frown at that, pushing the sides of my hair back. I think an undercut would look weird on me, and I like my brown. "You're a terrible gay" I chide myself, pulling another face and checking my teeth are clean. They are, thankfully. Oral hygiene is very important. [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror2]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

Home of underwear and dreams. And by dreams, I mean comfortable socks. I pull out a pair and pull them on in preparation for tonight. My hands brush over an old binder, and I smile fondly. It's been nearly two years since I went in for top surgery. I donated the rest of my old binders to young trans people, but this was my first. It's a nice reminder of how far I've come since then. [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers2]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

I eye my walls. They won't help me get ready for a date, but they're very...me, for if I do get to bring him back here. Do I want to bring him back here? I try to imagine Alex, sitting on my lumpy bed and looking around at my walls. That's...a nice thought. With a glance, he'd see band posters, polaroid's with friends, those little triangle things- bunting? rainbow and glittery, and fairy lights. Maybe if he got up and looked at the polaroid's, he'd see me with my old girlfriend. Or me pre-T. Or, what if he looks at the band posters too close and realises I just printed them myself? Is he gonna think I'm a hipster? God I hope not. AM I a hipster? [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls2]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

I'm on my own profile already. <div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/0DN82vT.png" width="600" height="800" alt="Sam's profile picture"> <h3>Sam Transforms</h3> <span class="bold">Age:</span> 21 <span class="bold">Height:</span> 165cm <span class="bold">Weight:</span> 98kg <span class="bold">HIV status:</span> Negative, On PReP <span class="bold">Orientation:</span> Pansexual <span class="bold">Preferred position:</span> Bottom <span class="bold">Looking for:</span> Dates, fun chats, serious relationship <span class="bold">Not looking for:</span> Fooling around, time wasting <span class="bold">Relationship style:</span> Monogamous <span class="bold">Bio:</span> Hi! I'm Sam. I only just came out as pansexual, so I'm a little new here, please be kind. Uhhh, I'm a librarian for work and a photographer for fun! I won't do free headshots tho, so don't ask. I DON'T like long walks on the beach, sea creatures freak me the fuck out. Let's go somewhere fun for dinner or a movie!! <span class="bold">Edit:</span> I don't want to just hook up, so don't ask. Dickpics will be deleted. Anyone with any of the following 'preferences' in their bio will be blocked: "No Asians" "no femmes" "no Indians" "no black guys" "only here for trans ppl or crossdressers" "No bi guys" "No fats" "no faggots" "no twinks" Your preferences aren't cute, they're disgusting, racist, internalised homophobia and transphobic. Fight me on this. <div align='center'> [[Close Monstr|dateprep1]] [[Read Alex's Profile|alexprofile]] [[Check your Profile|samprofile2]] [[Read Alex's messages again|messagesnoanimation]] </div>

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3>New Conversation With: The_Beast_Of_Brey_Road</h3> <div align='right'> <span class="samhighlight">Hey alex, you there? :) :D </span> </div> <div align='left'> <span class="alexhighlight">yoooo hi, just at work right now. :D what's up handsome?</span> </div> <div align='right'> <span class="samhighlight"> handsome?? /)OoO(\ flirt. Just checking we're still on for our date tonight?? :D </span> </div> <div align='left'> <span class="alexhighlight">Yeah of course, handsome ;) I've been looking forward to it all week! I might be a bit sweaty from work tho- I'll pick you up at 5, yeah?</span> </div> <div align='right'> <span class="samhighlight">Charming man! Sweaty is good and fine. uh- I have something I wanna tell you tonight as well. </span> </div> <div align='left'> <span class ="alexhighlight"> Can't wait to hear it. Gotta go, someone needs me to spot them. see you then Sam the man ;D </span> </div> <div align='right'> <span class= "samhighlight"> See you then, alex the...phallus.</span> </div> <div align='left'> <span class ="alexhighlight"> Work on that while I'm working lol </span> </div> <div align='center'> [[Close Monstr|dateprep1]] [[Read Alex's Profile|alexprofile]] [[Check your Profile|samprofile]] </div>

I'm already on Alex's profile. <div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/4xHAsty.png" width="600" height="800" alt="Alex's profile picture"> <h3>The_Beast_Of_Brey_Road</h3> <span class="bold">Age:</span> 24 <span class="bold">Height:</span> 189cm <span class="bold">Weight:</span> 80kg <span class="bold">HIV status:</span> Negative <span class="bold">Orientation:</span> Gay <span class="bold">Preferred position:</span> Switch, Top <span class="bold">Looking for:</span> Dates, Fooling around, fun chats, short term dating, serious relationship <span class="bold">Not looking for:</span> Nothing <span class="bold">Relationship style:</span> Monogamous, Open <span class="bold">Bio:</span> Hey! Name's Alex, or The_Beast_Of_Brey_Road (obviously) I'm a personal trainer, so I'm sorry if my muscles intimidate you ;) I promise I'm not a meathead! I just like having a good butt for you to love huge huge HUGE fan of cryptids!!! talk spooky to me!! And not just mothman, gimme your werewolves and vampires and loch ness conspiracies please. El chupacabra? My man. The Jersey devil?? Yes!! if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my cryptids. you get 100+ hot points if you tell me what my name is from! Can also bake you a mean cake. I'm a catch, I know ;D In all seriousness, I'm really not down for anyone rude, mean, or disrespectful. Can do monogamous, can do open relationships. Whatever you're comfortable with. I like making people happy and comfortable. Your smile is my biggest turn on. 40+ please don't interact with me. No dickpics, I beg of you <div align='center'> [[Close Monstr|dateprep1]] [[Read Alex's Profile|alexprofile2]] [[Check your Profile|samprofile]] [[Read Alex's messages again|messagesnoanimation]] </div>

<<set $clothes to "pajama top">> <<set $bed to "messy">> I dunno what to wear to impress Alex. I've been talking to him for about 3 weeks now and know almost nothing about what sorta guy he's into- or what they wear. I know he likes wearing womens jogging pants, but I threw all those out when I came out. So we're not gonna match here. We haven't really exchanged a lot of photos- past what we were eating, or cute animals we've seen. Maybe something with a cat on it? Or is that too feminine? I don't even know where we're going or what we're doing. So, no indication about how I should dress for tonight at all. I sit up with a groan, glancing around my room. Regardless of femme or masc, I need to work out this clothing situation. [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]]

<<set $clothes to "vest">> The vest is a deep blue. Pulling on a simple white t-shirt under it, I button it up, four buttons, bottom one undone. Just like my mum taught me. It still fits well, even better than it used. I haven't worn it since before I had top surgery. It still sits tight on my hips, but flat on my chest now. I run my hands over it, smoothing it down over my belly. Should I [[wear this|vest2]] or [[something else?|wardrobe2]]

<<set $clothes to "jumper">> I pull my jumper from the wardrobe. I don't even know why I bother hanging it up, I wear it at least twice a week. It's worn soft black wool, the sleeves too long for me. I change into a simple t-shirt and pull the large jumper over my head. It sits like it always does, baggy and comfortable. I roll the sleeves up to use my hands, and stretch out in it. Should I [[wear this|jumper2]] or [[something else?|wardrobe2]]

Old faithful it is! alright, we're going with the jumper. I was wearing it in my profile picture anyway, so it might make sense to show up looking like that. [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

A timeless classic grunge boy- Baggy jeans, a vest, and a white t-shirt. Best to show up looking my best. If we get to date 3, then I can start to relax my fancy pants. Before then I'll show a vested interest in this date. I pull out my phone and text a photo of myself and my pun to my housemate. Alright, what now? [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

<<set $datestart to "on time">> I spend the rest of my day taking a long warm shower, reading, tidying the house a bit and watching trashy tv. At twenty to five, I get dressed in my $clothes again. I put on some deoderant and some cologne, and pop a mint in my mouth. At five to five I tug on my shoes, lacing them tight. I take a last look in the mirror, smooth down my $clothes and head to the front door. Outside, a red pick-up pulls up outside my house. He's here. [[Head outside|startdate2]]

<<set $bed to "made">> I groan and go and get some clean semi-matching linen. It takes about 10 minutes, but I change all the sheets, pillowcases and doona covers and arrange them nicely and neatly. I smooth the corners down gently with my hands, and hide my vibrator somewhere that ISN'T under the pillows. I toy with the idea of leaving a teddybear in the centre but decide against it. There. It's $bed. [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed2]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

It's still me. I consider taking off my necklace in case Alex thinks I'm too femme, but decide against it. Alex seems like he doesn't care about that kinda stuff. Even still... [[Inspect wardrobe|wardrobe]] [[Inspect mirror|mirror2]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

<<set $clothes to "button-up">> I carefully pull out my red checkered button up shirt. It's nicely ironed, and has no obvious creases, which I'm pretty proud of. I like to wear this to photography events, work, and formal dates. I dunno if that's what Alex is expecting though. What if it's not formal? What if it's something like... hiking? or mud wrestling?? Then my formal shirt is going to be ruined. I change into it, rolling the cuffs up-to my elbows carefully. Should I [[wear this|buttonup2]] or [[something else?|wardrobe2]]

<<set $clothes to "political t-shirt">> I tug out my political t-shirt. It has a large 'YES' to marriage equality over it in bright rainbow font. It's both bittersweet and regular sweet. Bittersweet because why do we have to fight for the exact same rights as other people? Sweet because it helped me find people like me. Nothing like shared cultural trauma to bring the queers together, eh? I change into it, tracing the 'yes' over my chest. Looks pretty good, and maybe Alex likes a direct approach? Should I [[wear this|political2]] or [[something else?|wardrobe2]]

Dress to impress, as they say. I smooth down the button up and tuck it into my jeans, adding a pair of suspenders as decoration. Perfect. [[Inspect mirror|mirror]] [[Inspect drawers|drawers]] [[Inspect bed|bed]] [[Inspect walls|walls]] [[Wait till Alex gets here|datestart]]

<<set $bed to "messy">> <<set $datestart to "late">> I wake up at fifteen to five, angry, tired and with a dry mouth. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!! I'm gonna be late! My bed's messy and my hair is sticking up! I throw myself in and out of the shower, brushing my teeth as I go. I pull on what I had on when I got into the shower. I throw on the closet deoderant (it may be my housemates whatever) and cologne, and find my shoes. [[Run!|startdatelate]] <<if $clothes == "pajama top">> [[Get DRESSED|wardrobelate]] <</if>>

No time to wax philosophical! I yank the door open quickly. Which one? *[[A vest|wearvestlate]] *[[My favourite jumper|wearjumperlate]] *[[A nice red checkered button-up|wearbuttonuplate]] *[[a comfortable but political shirt|wearpoliticallate]] [[Fuck it! Run!|startdatelate]]

<<set $clothes to "vest">> Okay, vest it is! White t-shirt under a dark blue vest! No time to pick something else now! [[Run!|startdatelate]]

<<set $clothes to "jumper">> We're going with my old fav, black jumper, too big, perfectly comfy and can go over my pj top! No time to pick something else now! [[Run!|startdatelate]]

<<set $clothes to "button-up">> I fumble quickly with the buttons, buttoning them up quickly and clumsily. No time to pick something else now! [[Run!|startdatelate]]

<<set $clothes to "political t-shirt">> Politics is always a great first date topic! I impatiently tug my rainbow 'YES!' marriage equality shirt over my head. No time to pick something else now! [[Run!|startdatelate]]

I run through the house, pulling on my boots quickly and ruffling my hair. I nearly smack into the door, but I can see through the screen door that a red pick-up is only just pulling up. Thank goodness. I sigh, gathering and composing myself. At least I smell okay. [[Head outside|startdate2]]

Alex steps out of the car, smiling widely at me. He's...gorgeous. Choirs of gay angel babies sing from the heavens. My heart is<div class ="pulse"> POUNDING </div> in my chest. I try to muster a smile, but all I do is let out a nervous laugh and a wave. He waves back, moving closer to me. I have to stare upwards at him to make eye contact and suddenly I feel very <span class ="small">small.</span> "Hi" he says "[[Hi|hidate]]" "[[you're so TALL|talldate]]"

"Hi" he repeats back, letting out a short laugh "we're gonna get stuck in a loop here" I joke gently, looking him over. He's wearing a nice pair of dark skinny jeans and a black tanktop. It looks good on him. Really good. "[[You look amazing.|amazingdate]]" "[[Should we get going?|car]]"

"It says my height on my profile!" He snorts at that, rubbing the back of his neck "I think you're off by a few inches" I smile. I look him over. He's wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans, doc martins and a black tank top. He looks incredible. "[[You look amazing|amazingdate]]" "[[Should we get going?|car]]"

"Speak for yourself" he laughs, looking me over very obviously. I feel my cheeks warm slightly. <<if $clothes == "vest">> "I like the vest. Very cute. Very formal" He raises a hand and makes a turning motion, and I turn with a smile, holding my arms up. "I feel very grungy actually." I snort, completing my twirl. "[[Should we get going?|car]]" <<elseif $clothes == "jumper">> "This is the jumper from your profile picture, yeah?" He raises a hand and makes a turning motion, and I turn with a smile, holding my arms up. "Yeah, it's my favourite. You been lookin' at my photo a lot?" "Dare you deny me the chance to look at a cute boy?" He grins, and my breath hitches. "[[Should we get going?|car]]" <<elseif $clothes == "button-up">> "I feel underdressed now. You can see my nipples in this shirt" He tugs on his own tank top, and I resist staring intently to see if he's telling the truth. "It's my work shirt actually." "It's cute. I like the suspenders." He raises a hand and makes a turning motion, and I turn with a smile, holding my arms up. "You're cute." I complete my twirl, looking up at him. "[[Should we get going?|car]]" <<elseif $clothes == "political t-shirt">> "I actually have one of those shirts at home too. I sleep in it now the campaigns over." He tugs lightly at one of the sleeves on my shirt, and I sigh relived "Glad I'm not too crazy political for you." "Marriage equality is a pretty tame political movement." He teases and I grin back at him "[[Should we get going?|car]]" <<elseif $clothes == "pajama top">> "...Are you planning on staying over?" He smirks, quirking an eyebrow at my $clothes. "It's fashion. Look it up." I huff back, rolling my eyes. "They're cute, and you're gonna see them." "Apparently. I coulda waited till tonight though." "[[Should we get going?|car]]" <</if>>

"Let's go." He nods, smiling. We climb in the car, slamming the door simultaneously. The inside of the car is surprisingly anachronistic for an old car. Wooden inlays across the dashboard with a car radio that looks like it was put in this morning. The steering wheel is old, obviously original, but painted around the wheel with rainbow nail-polish. A GPS sits next above the old gauges. "Nice rainbow." I say, running a finger over the wheel. He bats my hand lightly with his, laughing out a thanks, and my heart starts <div class ="pulse">racing again.</div> I buckle my seatbelt and settle into the leather seat. "[[So where are we going?|car2]]"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He quirks an eyebrow, the car roaring to life with only one attempt. Figured an old car would take about four tries. "I mean, I really would. That's why I asked." "It's a surprise!" He pulls away from my house, and we're off. "Do you not like surprises?" "[[Yes, I like surprises|yescar]]" "[[No, I hate surprises|nocar]]" <<set $work to 0>> <<set $wolves to 0>> <<set $monstr to 0>> <<set $convo to 0>>

<<if $convo == 0>> We drive in silence for a while. I fiddle with the seatbelt, anxious with the silence.<</if>> <<if $convo < 3>> What on earth should I talk about? <</if>> <<if $convo ==3>> I'm all out of conversation ideas. <</if>> <<if $monstr ==0>> [[Monstr|monstrconvo]] <</if>> <<if $work == 0>> [[Work|workconvo]] <</if>> <<if $wolves ==0>> [[Werewolves|werewolvesconvo]] <</if>> <<if $convo > 0>> [[Wait|endcarconvo]] <</if>>

"Yeah, they're alright. Forgive me for being a bit curious though. I wasn't sure if I should be packing hiking boots, snow shoes or a surfboard." I shrug. 'or packing a strap-on with me' I add mentally. "How athletic of you." he snorts "Your shoes will be fine, there won't be any extreme sports today." "How can I be sure? What if you're planning on murdering me?" "Do I look like the murdering type?" 'Everyone does when you're trans honestly' I think, but shrug, responding instead "So I don't get to know where we're going?" "Nope" he smiles and I sigh, settling into [[silence.|car3]]

"No. It makes it harder to organise things, it makes me anxious about if I'm gonna react the right way or even like what the surprise is, AND I didn't know what shoes to wear." I add with a petulant whine. He snorts "Please, just trust me on this." "Why should I?" "Because I promise if you don't like the date, you can just tell me, and we'll go do something you DO like." "You promise?" "pinky promise" he sticks it out, and I curl our pinkies together. "So, I don't get to know where we're going?" "Nope" he smiles and I sigh, settling into [[silence.|car3]]

"So, you're a personal trainer, yeah?" "Oh my god, please don't ask, I beg of you" he groans good-naturedly, but I decide to drop the topic anyway. "Message recieved." [[Talk About something else|car3]] [[Wait|endcarconvo]] <<set $work to 1>> <<set $convo += 1>>

"So, Monstr. Had much luck there?" I ask, wincing immediately after. Why did I ask that? "I mean, obviously" He smiles, still watching the road but gesturing a hand at me. "But in general, no. I don't mind the occasional hook up and dick pic, but constantly, and never changing- it gets really tiring." I nod, a little quiet from the idea that he feels lucky to be out with me. [[Talk About something else|car3]] [[Wait|endcarconvo]] <<set $convo += 1>> <<set $monstr to 1>>

"So, your name, on Monstr, the Beast of Brey Road- That's a werewolf, right?" I ask, pretending like I hadn't googled it immediately to get brownie points. "uh- Yeah! Yeah, though SOME people say it's bigfoot- but bigfoot isn't a canine, now IS he?" He says seriously, glancing over. I feel like I've started something I was unprepared for. "He's not, no. but he is kinda hairy." "Not REALLY, you're thinking of a yeti. I think Bigfoot..." he pauses conspiratorially for impact, presumably "Is a giant." "...Isn't he a bit short for that?" Alex huffs, clearly offended. Whoops. [[Talk About something else|car3]] [[Wait|endcarconvo]] <<set $convo += 1>> <<set $wolves to 1>>

For the rest of the trip, we sit in a silence that grows slowly more and more comfortable. We arrive outside of a large, elaborately ornate restaurant. And I panic. "Hey uh- this place is like, half my paycheck for a meal." I say quickly, looking over at him. He shakes his head at me. "Being a personal trainer is worth a lot, and, I like to take cute boys out on dates. I'm covering it, no question." I have, some [[questions.|arrive]]

Am I not [[passing|passing]]? Is he treating me like a [[woman|woman]]? Is this a [[pity date|pity]]? What could be [[giving me away|away]]? I knew this was stupid, I knew I couldn't pass for a gay man, I knew it <span class ="large">I knew it,</span><span class ="larger"> I knew it,</span> <span class ="largest">I knew it</span> "Hey!" I blink, and realise I'm on the verge of tears. Alex is looking over at me worriedly. <span class ="small">[[Sorry.|arrive2]]</span>

"Don't be sorry. It's okay. I'm just offering because I like to spend money on nice things for people. You don't have to worry at all. Everything is fine." he reassures, hesitantly touching my shoulder. I take a few deep breathes, and nod. "Sorry for freaking out- just- brain stuff." I sniff, wiping my eyes. "Nah, brain stuff is fine. If I made you cry for being mean, then I'd be worried. Let's go, I have a reservation." He smiles, rubbing a thumb on my shoulder before patting it and popping open the door. [[Follow him|arrive3]]

I follow him in. We get seated, someone much fancier than I am brings me bread and champagne. We choose entrées and main courses, and settle in. Just as I take a bite of my bread, Alex speaks up. Almost in slo-mo, I watch his mouth forming the question I really don't have a way to answer yet. "So, what did you want to tell me?" I choke on the bread, crumbs flying. Fuck, I was gonna wait till I was somewhere with a getaway plan. But I'm locked in to wait for food here, and nowhere near any sort of train station. [[Can- Can it wait?|date1]]

He cocks his head to the side, curious, but nods "Yeah. Whenever you're comfortable. Can I know what it's about?" I sigh, shaking my head "Uh- well..." [[I'm gay|gayconvo]] [[Sometimes, I like to wear odd shoes|shoesconvo]]

"Well, yeah, I figured." He nods, giving me a slightly puzzled look. "Uh, actually I'm pansexual. I dunno why I said it like that, but it's the easiest way to get into it without having to explain what pansexual is." I ramble, fiddling with a piece of bread and turning it to crumbs. "I know what pansexual is" he smiles, leaning backwards as the first course arrives. [[Eat|date2]]

"Honestly, I do too. Two different coloured Converse is a great and proud queer fashion statement." He nods solemnly, and leans back as our food arrives. I silently berate myself for saying that. Why did I say that? Why did I think that was a good thing to say? [[Eat|date2]]

We eat with a comfortable level of small talk. He tells me about his work as a personal trainer. I tell him about being a librarian. He talks about his baking hobby (a food hobby, not a drug hobby, he clarifies). I talk about my photography. Forks clink against plates and he keeps smiling up at me like he's not aware he's doing it. It's really, really cute. When the first plate is cleared, I become acutely aware that I need to pee. [[Excuse self to go to the bathroom|bathroom1]]

"Hey, sorry, just gonna go powder my nose" I joke lightly, getting up. "Ok, well, stay safe" he grins jokingly, and as I look around for the bathrooms. "That's more of a concern than you know" I whisper under my breath as I wander toward the bathrooms. Oh. <div align='left'>[[Male|mens]] </div><div align='center'>[[Disabled|dis]] (Out of Order) </div> <div align='right'>[[Female|females]]</div> Oh fuck. What do I do? Do I risk getting screamed out of the women's, or punched in the men's? What if the men's doesn't have stalls? What if there's someone in there? Should I just- TRY the disabled?

I begin chanting my men's room mantra. "Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me" I enter, glancing around. No one inside. I quickly dash into one of the stalls, slamming it shut and pulling my pants down to pee. As I'm finishing and flushing, the door opens, and someone else enters. Looks like I'm stuck in the stall till he's gone or in a stall. I strategically listen to his movements, holding my breath. He enters the stall next to me. As soon as he's latched the door, I dart out of mine, quickly washing my hands which I dry on my pants as I hurry out the door. Survived another day. [[Head back to the table|date3]]

I slide in the door sideways, glancing around. There's two locked stalls, so before anyone can come out of them. I quickly dash into one of the free stalls, slamming it shut and pulling my pants down to pee. As I'm finishing and flushing, someone leaves their stall. I listen intently. The water runs, then stops. The dryer runs, then stops. She doesn't leave. Sounds like she's...fixing her hair or makeup. "please leave, please leave, please leave" I pray in my head to whatever is listening. She doesn't. I've been in here nearly 5 minutes. This is getting too long. I keep my head down, moving quickly out of the stall and washing my hands without looking up to make eye contact. As I'm leaving, I hear her start to ask me something, but I'm gone. [[Head back to the table|date3]]

I push on the disabled door. It opens, but I quickly see why it's out of order. Someone's cracked the toilet bowl hard. Bits of it are still scattered on the floor. Water puddles around it. [[Mens|mens]] [[Womens|females]] [[Go anyway|no]]

I head back to the table. Our main course has arrived, and like a sweetheart, Alex is waiting patiently for me. I sit down, and we exchange a smile. "You could have started without me." "That'd just be rude." He snorts, picking up his fork. "So, any indication of yet of what you wanted to tell me?" My hands start to <div class="shudder">[[shake|date4]]</div>

No. That's nasty. You're nasty. [[Mens|mens]] [[Womens|females]]

'You can do this Sam. You don't have to come right out and say it. Just- hint and he'll get it.' "Uh- maybe it'd be better to show you I guess?" I try to still my hands, and he looks a bit puzzled, but nods. "sure." "okay." I lift my $clothes, showing two long, wide scars under each of my pecs. He stares at them for a moment, a puzzled look forming on his face. "They look like-" "Uh, they are. So, can we eat?" I pull my $clothes down quickly, face shockingly red, and quickly stuff some food into my mouth to avoid talking. Alex does the same, but he seems deep in thought. [[Oh no|date5]]

"Sorry" I say through a mouthful of salad after a few moments silence, Alex looking up quickly. "No, it's okay, I'm just- not sure I understand." He clarifies. "Um, well when I started to-" I choke on the next word "...y'know, a big first part of it is getting uh- this done" I gesture to where my scars are, laughing nervously. "Almost lost my nipples." He seems in awe of that. That- was not the reaction I was expecting. Oh no. Maybe he's super into trans people, like a weird fetish. Oh no. He just said something. And I missed it. "[[Pardon?|date6]]" [[Nod thoughtfully|nod]]

He just stares at me expectantly. Oh. Was it a question that needed answering? Fuck. "Uh- [[Pardon?|date6]]"

"I asked when it happened." He clarifies, taking a bite of food and chewing slowly, watching me with interest. "Uh- God, about 3 years ago now? About 4 months after I started getting hairy, so-" I calculate mentally. "About 10 months into it." "Hairy?" "Ah, yeah, that happens too. I never had this much hair before." I shrug, rubbing my arm hair. "It's a bit patchy, but I like it." He stares with wide eyes, nodding. [[Take another bite|date7]]

"So, what's the word for it then?" He asks after a few moments silence. "Just so I'm clear." I wince. Why can't I just tell him I'm <span class="trans">trans?</span>? "Uh- I mean- you know. The scars, the hair, the voice, it's all pretty clear, yeah? Do I have to really spell it out?" I mumble into my food. He holds his hands up in a sign of peace. "Message received. Say no more." He assures, reaching over and putting his hand on mine, squeezing it. I look up at him, not expecting that. [[Squeeze back|squeeze]] [[Pull away|pull]]

I squeeze back, face red. His hand is warm and strong, and he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. "Sorry. This is kinda a big thing for me. I've gotten some bad reactions before, so I'm a little nervous. Thanks for understanding." I squeeze again. "No I understand. That must be a huge thing to tell someone that you're a<span class ="blurriest"> werewolf.</span>" [[Eat|date8]]

I pull my hand away gently. "Sorry. I'm not really- super comfortable with that right now. This is kinda a big thing for me. And I get a lot of trouble from that. Both on and off Monstr." I admit slowly, rubbing my hand nervously. "Sorry. I should have asked first. That must have been a big thing to tell me yeah? That you're a<span class ="blurriest"> werewolf.</span>" I didn't catch the last word. But I know what it means. [[Eat|date8]]

We finish our food quickly, Alex asking the occasional question about when my hair growth started, or how long my scars took to heal. It's a relief that he seems to be interested in my transition like this. I'm still worried it might be a fetish issue, but he seems genuine in his curiosity. "Now, we can't order desserts before the next part of the date, so are you good to go?" he asks, smiling at me across the table. "Are we going to Charlies Chocolate Factory?" "No, I don't want either of us to die." "Handsome and lacking homicidal tendencies!" [[I'm ready to go|date9]]

He offers his hand to me after we(he) pays the bill. I don't look at the total for fear of a heart attack, but I do take his hand as we leave the restaurant. He cards our fingers together like a magician hiding the ace of spades. His hand is warm, and calloused, and very strong. One of his nails is painted. I gently touch it with my other hand, and he smiles. "I just really like the colour purple." he shrugs, wiggling the painted fingernail "Not enough to do more than one?" "I like the aesthetic" "[[I like YOUR aesthetic|aes]]" "[[That's pretty gay|gay]]"

"Yes, that's kinda the point. Something wrong with that?" He jabs playfully, eyebrow raised. "Just would have expected more of a masc for masc out of a personal trainer" I joke back, smiling, and he laughs. "Mascs can wear nail-polish too. Come on, 7th pansexual wonder of the world" He tugs on my hand and leads me down the road. "[[You really like your pet names, huh?|walk1]]"

"I like your ass" he wiggles his eyebrows up and down, tongue sticking out between his teeth cheekily. I smack his arm, blushing and laughing at the same time. He laughs, fake rubbing his arm. "wow, what a right hook. Too far?" "No, you could go further. I like compliments, I thrive off them." "Of course you do, schmooze-y Sam." He tugs on my arm, leading us down the road. "[[You really like your pet names, huh?|walk1]]"

We walk down past his car, and I look back at it. "We're not driving?" "Nah. It's only a short walk. But, if you feel inadequately prepared for walking about 700 meters, I can carry you." He smiles, changing his stance as if he was about to sweep me off my feet. [[Let him pick you up|pickup]] [[Absolutely not|nopickup]]

<<set $pickup to true>> "You know what? Go for it. It's not everyday someone picks me up." I shrug, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He lifts me up like I weigh nothing, cradling my legs under my knees and holding me tight against his body. I wiggle a little for a better grip around his shoulder, and laugh. "I feel very little." "Is there any way for me to respond to that that isn't rude?" "[[Probably not.|walk2]]"

<<set $pickup to false>> "Uh- No thank you. I can walk myself." I stand back a little from him, almost letting go of his hand. Almost. "Alight. Lemme know if that changes" he smiles. "I can do a piggy back as well." "What if I wanted to sit on your shoulders?" "Depends which way around." he sticks his tongue out between his teeth. It's really, super cute. "[[I'll work that out later|walk2]]"

We're silent for a while. <<if $pickup == true>> I settle comfortably in his arms, resting my head on his shoulder and ignoring strange looks we're getting. He smells of vanilla. <<elseif $pickup== false>> I swing our arms as we walk a bit, watching the way his arm moves, veins twisting and muscles flexing in interesting patterns. <</if>> "So, can I ask how it happened? Like, how did you know what you were becoming?" He asks after a while "Or is that rude?" "No... It's okay" I nod slowly, thinking. "I think I just- always had an idea that it'd have to happen at some point. I would never be comfortable otherwise." [[Look at him|walk3]]

I look up at him. He seems to be mulling it over. "So it makes you more comfortable?" He asks after a while. "...yeah, it does. I feel more- part of my own body. I feel stronger. I feel like I could protect myself if I needed to. I just feel like I connect a lot more to myself now, like it's more me." "...That's pretty fantastic" he says softly, smiling, and I smile back. "[[Thanks|walk4]]"

"So, every full moon?" he asks after a few moments. "How did you know?" I blink, cocking my head and then shaking it. "Actually, I really don't want to talk about that. It's kinda gross." I wrinkle my nose. "How is it gross?" "It's...pretty bloody dude." "Oh. Oh of course." he widens his eyes, and gives me a sympathetic look. "[[It's fine, really|walk5]]"

"So- how long does it last?" "Bout 3 days. I spend the first two stuck in bed." I mumble, rubbing the back of my neck. "Can we please drop this particular topic?" "Yeah. Sorry. I'm just curious. I've never met a<span class ="blurriest"> werewolf</span> before." He says, and I roll my eyes. I know what he means to say without him having to say it. He's never met an out<span class ="trans"> trans</span> person before. "You don't have to ask every question. You could do your own research." I say a bit too snappily. "I do. I've just- Sorry. You're not google." He nods. <<if $pickup == true>> He puts me down, setting me outside a sweet little French café ice-cream shop. (Gelato? Or is that Italian?) I look it over, and then [[look back up at him.|walk6]] <<elseif $pickup== false>> He stops walking, and I stop a moment after. We're at a very sweet little French café ice-cream shop. (Gelato? Or is that Italian?) I look it over, and then[[look back up at him.|walk6]] <</if>>

He looks down at me, falling back into an easy smile. "This is the place. You ready for some of the best ice-cream of your life?" "I mean, pretty much always, [[yes.|icecream1]]"

We enter the café. We're shown to a small table, where our knees bump under the table. I order a coffee and a sundae, and he orders a milkshake and a bowl of salted caramel ice-cream. "How do you have your coffee, since I know your milkshake order now?" I ask, sipping my latté once it arrives. "Like my men." "[[Hot and bitter?|hot]]" "[[Sweet and creamy?|sweet]]" "[[Nowhere near your genitals?|nowhere]]" "[[Cold and strong?|cold]]"

"Mmm, not bitter. But I do like it hot and sweet." He winks at me effortlessly, like he's Harrison Ford or something. "I'm more of a frothy strong person." I hum into my coffee, getting froth on my nose which he wipes off with a finger. That he then sticks in his mouth. [[Oh God|icecream2]]

"Mmm. Really depends on the cream, on if I want it or not. But if it's sweet we're talking about, then yes. Absolutely." He winks at me effortlessly, like he's Harrison Ford or something. "I'm more of a frothy strong person." I hum into my coffee, getting froth on my nose which he wipes off with a finger. That he then sticks in his mouth. [[Oh God|icecream2]]

"Absolutely not. My coffee rests squarely in my crotch when I'm driving and I wouldn't have it any other way." He winks at me effortlessly, like he's Harrison Ford or something. "I'm more of a frothy strong person when it comes to coffee. Much less keen on third degree genital burns though." I hum into my coffee, getting froth on my nose which he wipes off with a finger. That he then sticks in his mouth. [[Oh God|icecream2]]

"Not often a fan of the cold honestly. I like strong sometimes, but mostly I'm here for sweet coffee and men." He winks at me effortlessly, like he's Harrison Ford or something. "I'm more of a frothy strong person." I hum into my coffee, getting froth on my nose which he wipes off with a finger. That he then sticks in his mouth. [[Oh God|icecream2]]

"Hmm. Sweet." he smiles, taking his finger out of his mouth and wiping it on his pants, sticking his tongue out. "Just how I like it." "You're super gross, you know that?" I huff, frowning and smiling at the same time. I end up grimacing. "Yes. But obviously in some kinda good way, cause you're still here." he smiles sipping his milkshake smugly. "So, you're really cool with the whole...[[Y'know?|icecream3]]"

"The-" I take a deep gulp of my coffee as he talks, choking a bit and coughing -<span class ="blurriest">werewolf</span> thing?" "Yeah, that thing." I nod. "Yeah, I mean- I think it's pretty awesome. Obviously I've always been interested to hear some first-hand accounts." He smiles, sipping his milkshake and resting his chin on his hands, looking at me expectantly. "I- really? Which parts?" I blink. I wasn't expecting THAT. "Just the whole- transformation thing" "[[The whole thing?|icecream4]]"

"Yeah. I think it's fascinating. I mean- there aren't a lot like you out there, right?" "Excuse me? 3% of America is like me- That's just the people who can talk about it AND that's only in America. There's plenty of people like me." I frown, annoyed. What on earth is he talking about? Trans people are everywhere. My housemates trans. I'm trans. My friends and colleges are trans. I guess we do kinda flock together. He holds his hands up worriedly "Sorry. I didn't know so many people were open about it." "[[What's THAT supposed to mean?|icecream5]]"

"Just that you're- very open about it? It's not a bad thing?" He says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and leaning back in his chair. "Maybe we should change the subject?" He offers, and I sigh. "[[Yeah. We should.|should]]" "[[Sorry.|sorry]]"

He seems a bit taken aback. Maybe I was too blunt about it. "It's just- none of anyone's business unless I make it your business." I say, shrugging. "and I haven't made it yours yet." "Yeah. Fair enough." he says softly, shrugging back. "Sorry for prying." "[[It's okay.|icecream6]]"

"Can we talk about you for a bit?" I ask hopefully, and he smiles again. "Yeah. I don't have a lot interesting going for me though." We settle back into a long conversation about our favourite movies. He's not at all a horror fan, so we're both naming unknown movies at each other and laughing. Our music is all different as well, and in the end, we're making up band names to try to catch the other lying to try to look knowledgeable. Our ice-cream melts while we talk, and is a puddle of sweet goo by the time we start talking about our favourite games. "[[This is nice.|icecream7]]"

"It's just a lot, you know?" I sigh. "It's a lot to tell you, it's a lot to be, it's a lot of everything. I- don't want to be rude, but I'm not a walking google search about it." "No- I understand." he nods. "Sorry as well, for prying and making you uncomfortable." "[[It's okay.|icecream6]]"

"It is." He smiles back sweetly. "It's really nice. Did you want to get out of here? Maybe keep talking about it back at yours?" Shit. <<if $bed == "made">> Glad I made my bed. <<elseif $bed == "messy">> ... I should have made my bed. <</if>> "[[Yeah. That sounds good.|icecream8]]"

He takes my hand and leaves money to cover our bill. I hadn't even realised it had gotten dark out. As we stand outside in the cool night air, I glance up. "[[Hey, the moon is ful-|moon1]]"

<<fadein 3 0.5>> "[[... Alex.|moon2]]" <</fadein>>

<<fadein 3 0.5>> "[[... Alex, why are you covering my eyes.|moon3]]" <</fadein>>

<<fadein 2 0.5>> "[[... Alex. I swear to God, get your hands off my face RIGHT NOW|moon4]]" <</fadein>>

I smack Alex's hand off my face finally. He's turned pale and looks...terrified? "[[What on EARTH is the matter with you?|moon5]]"

"The- the moon is full!" he says quickly, trying to cover my eyes again, but I duck under his hand. "And? It's pretty? What's your problem with the moon??" "It's YOUR problem with the moon!" he insists. "[[What??|moon6]]"

"You're gonna transform!! We've been talking about it all night?" He sounds seriously confused, which is how I feel. "What- I'm not a werewolf, you idiot!" "Then what ARE you?" "I'm[[...|moon7]]"

"I'm[[...|moon8]]"

"I'm..." [[Say it|moon9]]

"T-" [[SAY it|moon10]]

SAY IT. [[Just SAY IT|moon11]]

<span class ="largestSTILL">"I'M TRANS"</span> <span class ="small">"[[I'm trans.|trans2]]"</span>

Some people on the street are looking at me strangely. My eyes are burning slightly with tears, and I'm glad that it's dark. I can't bring myself to look up at Alex. "You thought I was a monster." [[I close my eyes.|trans3]]

<<fadein 1 0.5>>"...You thought I was something horrific"<</fadein>> <<fadein 5 0.5>>"But...I'm just a trans guy."<</fadein>> <<fadein 9 0.5>>"No monster. No boogeyman. Just a boy."<</fadein>> <<fadein 12 0.5>>"...I can't believe you thought- a werewolf before a trans person." <</fadein>> <<fadein 16 0.5>>"I guess-"<</fadein>> <<fadein 18 0.5>>"Fuck- I'm so fucking stupid." <</fadein>> <<fadein 20 0.5>>"I guess maybe I'll just go home."<</fadein>> <<fadein 22 0.5>><span class="shudder2">I start to tremble.</span> I can't open my eyes or I'll cry. He wasn't interested in my transition. He was interested in a werewolf. Alex hasn't said anything, and I start preparing myself for a [[punch.|trans4]] <</fadein>>

The punch doesn't come. A finger touches my chin, and [[I open my eyes|trans5]]

Alex is looking at me worriedly, finger under my chin, his hand trembling uncertainly. I raise my hand and gently take his, moving it down and holding it still in place. We stare in silence at each other. I imagine that I can hear both our hearts beat. I breathe slowly. In- <<fadein 5 0.5>>"I'm so, so sorry."<</fadein>> <<fadein 10 0.5>>-Out.<</fadein>> <<fadein 13 0.5>>"I just thought- that-"<</fadein>> <<fadein 15 0.5>>In.<</fadein>> <<fadein 17 0.5>>"...I didn't know."<</fadein>> <<fadein 19 0.5>>Out.<</fadein>> <<fadein 21 0.5>>"Fuck- I'm such an idiot."<</fadein>> <<fadein 23 0.5>>In.<</fadein>> <<fadein 25 0.5>>"You must hate me. Jesus, I would."<</fadein>> <<fadein 27 0.5>>Out.<</fadein>> <<fadein 29 0.5>>"Sam? Sam are you okay?"<</fadein>> <<fadein 31 0.5>>[[OUT.|trans6]]<</fadein>>

<<set $kiss to 0>> I exhale sharply, running a hand through my hair and holding his hand tightly. "Okay. Okay. What we're gonna do-" I think for a moment. "What we're gonna do is be honest with each other. Properly, this time. We're gonna- we're gonna get in your car, and go to my house, and sit on my bed, and drink tea or whatever, and we're gonna be honest, because I really fucking like you, and this thing going on so far." I say, looking up at him and reaching up to touch his cheek. "And until then, we're gonna hold off on any monster theories." He nods, and squeezes my hand tightly back. [[Head towards the car|carhome]] [[Kiss him|kiss]]

We hurry off. Neither of us say a word, but neither of us let go of the others hand. Alex steers the car with one hand and I don't let go. I don't want to let go. [[Get out of the car|carhome2]] [[Kiss him.|kiss2]]

<<set $kiss += 1>> I don't think about it. I lean up, and I tug him- the tall asshole- down by his tank top. He responses confusedly, but enthusiastically and closes the distance between us, kissing me a lot softer than I've ever been kissed before. I respond just as softly, but our hands grip each others hand so, so tightly. We kiss like we’ve always known how to kiss each other. [[Head towards the car|carhome]]

<<set $kiss += 1>> Before we can both get out of the car I lean over and ball the front of his tank top in my fist and we both lean forward and meet each other halfway on this. There is no miscommunication. There is no other way to phrase this. No one gets this wrong. [[Get out of the car|carhome2]]

I drag him inside my house quickly, leading him through to my room. I don't really care about the bed, or my walls, or my mess because fuck it, honesty. I kick the door shut behind me. We haven't let go of each others hands yet. [[Sit on the bed.|home1]] [[Kiss him.|kiss3]]

We sit on the bed. <<if $bed =="messy">> I shove the mess of doonas and pillows over, pushing them off the bed. <<elseif $bed=="made">> The bed gets messy again. Whatever. At least the sheets are clean. <</if>> "I'm trans. I started transitioning a long time ago, but I only came out as queer recently. Because I'm trans every date is dangerous and hard and scary but you make me feel- good." I say in a rush, sitting cross legged. [[Your go|home2]] [[Kiss him|kiss4]]

<<set $kiss += 1>> I pull him closer, and he leans down and gently pushes me back against the door to kiss me. He kisses soft, and light, and often. I pull him closer to kiss back harder. We bump noses and teeth, but neither of us seem to care. [[Sit on the bed|home1]]

<<set $kiss += 1>> I lean forward and kiss Alex again, and he pushes back easily. I nearly topple over because I don't have great bed sitting balance, but he holds one of my hips with his hand. We don't need to talk yet. We just kiss. "[[Okay, your go|home2]]"

"I find you really attractive, but I've never been with a trans person before. The thought that that's what you were talking about- it never crossed my mind. And I think that might be a problem for me, that I've never thought to learn about trans people." he hurries just as much as I do. "I don't think I'd know what to do." He admits much slower, squeezing my hand. [[Do you want to try anyway?|hometry]] [[Why did you think I was a monster?|homemonster]]

"Dating is hard, and you're gorgeous and nice and a little bit inappropriate." I say softly. <<if $kiss > 0>> "And we've already kissed like $kiss times, and I'd like [[to do it again.|kiss5]]" <<elseif $kiss == 0>> "And I think I'd really like to [[kiss you|kiss5]]" <</if>>

"You've got wicked big scars that look like claw marks-" he touches my chest "you said you're getting hairier and your voice is changing, and on the full moon you're bloody." "...Alex I still get my period every few months." "Well I know that now!" "I had my tits cut off. That's the scar. I've been on T a while so my hair is coming in thickly now." I sigh, pressing his hand against my forehead. "You cryptid loving freak." "I'm sorry. I really am." He says seriously. "Look, I know this is all new to you, but [[do you want to try anyway?|hometry]]"

<<set $kiss += 1>> He leans over and kisses me, once on the mouth, once on the nose, once on the forehead. He holds my chin and kisses both of my cheeks. "I can't promise you anything. I'm gonna have to learn some stuff from you, for you, about you. but-" he pauses, sitting back to look me in the eye with a small smile. "I want to [[try.|end]]"

"That's all I ask." <<fadein 10 0.5>>Thank you for playing."[[Return to main screen.|That Boy is a Monster]]<</fadein>>

Is it really giving anything away to be <span class= "bold">me?</span> There's nothing to "give away"- I'm a boy. I'm me. If he assumes wrong based on something he thinks he's seen- That's his problem cause of his idea of what gender is. Not mine. Right? [[Other questions|arrive]]

What did I do wrong? Is it what I'm wearing? Are my hips still too wide? Is my voice not deep enough?? I shouldn't HAVE to pass to be treated well. I shouldn't have to conform to the idea of masculinity to be treated with respect. [[Other questions.|arrive]]

If this is just another gay man who views me as a woman because of a vagina, I swear to god I'm gonna flip my shit. One more gay man treating women and trans men badly for their bodies. One more gay man refusing to admit they're misogynistic. I'm so- tired of it. [[Other questions|arrive]]

I don't need men to pity me for having a fucking vagina, or for being trans. I don't want or need peoples fucking pity for something that isn't a problem. I like my body. It's MY body. There isn't anything wrong with me. [[Other questions|arrive]]

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3> New Conversation With: VampiricGarlic</h3> <span class='alexhighlight'>So- do you still bleed? Like, everytime? </span> <div align='right'> <span class='samhighlight'> Yeah, but so does everyone else who asks me that question. </span> </div> Fuck you, buddy. [[Back to messages|messages1]]

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3> New Conversation With: AngryBear</h3> <span class='alexhighlight'> You're fucking disgusting.</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> I can't believe you didn't tell me</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> what the fuck is wrong with you</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> fucking fake freak</span> <span class='alexhighlight'> I'm gonna tell everyone what you are</span> <div align='right'> <span class='samhighlight'> Go ahead. There's nothing WRONG with me, you fucking asshole. Why don't you go ahead and tell everyone you're also a transphobic dickhead at the same time?</span> </div> I...hope that doesn't come back and bite me. [[Back to messages|messages1]]

<div align='Center'> <h2>MONSTR, WHERE BOYS MEET BOYS</h2> </div> <h3> New Conversation With: WereSelkie</h3> <span class='alexhighlight'> Wow- really?? I think people like you are hot ;)</span> <div align='right'> <span class='samhighlight'> Yeah... ;)</span> </div> <div align='right'> <span class='samhighlight'>Hot as the fires of fucking hell, where creepy fetishists like you end up. See you there.</span> </div> Ugh ugh ugh. I feel like I need to take a shower after that. [[Back to messages|messages1]]