//Hey//, you think to yourself, //don't I have a project due in a few weeks//?
* "[[Yeah, I should get on that, shouldn't I?|project]]"
* "[[Nope, don't know what you're talking about...]]"
So anyway, project. What do you want to do?
* A [[Twine hypertext]]
* A [[text about a hyperkinetic ball of twine|what]]
* A [[hyper Twine about text|what2]]Hah! Nice try. You totally ''do'' have a project due soon. It's on the syllabus.
//On a related note, [[I bet you totally thought that choosing this would immediately lead to some kind of hypertextual death-by-deus-ex-machina ending, didn't you? (set: $denied to true)|project2]]//(if: (history:) contains "what")[Oh, good. Last thing we need is for you to start speaking in word salad, especially at this point in the semester...]
(else-if: (history:) contains "what2")[Really, you're gonna get all postmodern and meta on me? Puh-shaw, man! How ''gauche''! You know that self-referential humor schtick is so 2016, right? Geez...]
Alright, a Twine hypertext it is, then!
* [[`(set: $hype to "gotten")`|genre]]
* [[Yes, let's.|genre2]]
* [[Sure, whatever.|genre3]]Wait, what the hell does that even mean? How can a ball of twine be "active" in the first place? That makes absolutely no sense!
* Oh, my bad. I meant to say [[Twine hypertext]]. (display: "Twine hypertext")Double-click this passage to edit it.Now then, it's been a long time since you last worked in Twine, right?
* [[Yeah, it has |Year]]!
* [[I think so|Year]].
* [[...|Year]]Alrighty then! (display: "genre")Well, jeez, don't go getting all excited on me, Broseph...
(display: "genre")Yeah, wasn't the last time you worked in Twine back in, like, (random: 1776,1990) or something like that?
* [[Uh-huh!|yearjoke]]
* [[Actually, I think your memory's a bit off on that one.|yearjoke2]]I thought so! (Which, by the way, is pretty ironic, considering that you were born in 1991 and Twine wasn't originally released until 2009. Talk about being ahead of your time...)Aha! Glad to see you're paying attention! I was just testing you.
Anyway, let's [[take a look at the latest version of Twine|new]], shall we?Sure, whatever you say, man.
(display: "project")Huh. They sure added a bunch of new stuff, didn't they?
Well, since you're sorta on the clock with this one, I'd recommend //not// attempting to screw around with too many new features all at once. Stick to one, or two at the most.
* [[Okay...|type]]
* [[Naw, screw that! I'm going all-in on this one, got it?|type2]]
Alrighty then! Now, what macro should you work with? (click: "macro")[How about hooks? You know, the stuff that lets you add text to a passage and stuff like that?]
* [[Sure, let's go with hooks, then!|tale]]
* [Meh, I dunno, man...]<meh|
(click: ?meh)[Screw you, we're going with hooks, and that's final.]
Not while ''I'm'' the narrator, you aren't!
(display: "type")Double-click this passage to edit it.Good deal. Now, what kind of hypertext do you want to write?
* [Hypertext poetry about how my life sucks.]<poetry| (click: "poetry")[Nah, your bangs aren't long enough for going all emo on me. Try again.]
* [Horror story involving a cursed community theatre playhouse in Upstate New York.]<horror| (click: ?horror)[Sounds good. Let's do it!]
* [A clever story about writing a Twine hypertext for a class project.]<clever| (click: ?clever)[Absolutely not! I despise postmodern trash filled with lots of lowbrow self-deprecation and fourth wall jokes! Screw. That. Noise.]
** [[Let's go!|test]]//''SEVERAL HOURS LATER''//
Okay, you've done it. You've made a riveting Twine story worthy of winning the Golden Globes, Oscars, Emmys, and even the Grammys.
Yeah, that's right. This hypertext is so orgasmically good that it'll somehow win a music award. MULTIMEDIA, man. It's so good as to defy logic.
Let's [[test it out]], then![[ERROR ERROR ERROR]]Well, crap. Now that that's out of the question, what now?
* [We have no choice. We have to go postmodern!]<nochoice|
(click: ?nochoice)[Ugh, fine. What should we call this piece of digital-human excrement?]
* [Let's go with...]<title| (click-append: ?title)["Hook, Twine, and Sinker?"]
[[Ugh. Sure, whatever...|end]]
HOOK, TWINE, AND SINKER
A POSTMODERN TWINE THING BY THOMAS KLINE
THE END