The ninja frowns and folds his arms.\n\n"//Fine! Have it your way!//"\n\nHis arms extend outward, flinging shuriken at you. All of them miss. He hangs his head in shame and walks over to pick up his weapons. Before leaving, he hands you $50.\n\n"//Let's just pretend this didn't happen.//"\n\n\n* __End__\n\n
You eat waffles.\n\n\n* [[NOM NOM NOM|Aliens]]\n
You wake up early this morning. You are hungry.\n\n\n* [[Eat pancakes.|Pancakes]]\n* [[Eat waffles.|Waffles]]\n
Try as you might, you unable to stop yourself from clicking the "Fundamentally Funny Fruit" link. Seeing no other way out, you take a no. 2 pencil out of your desk and gouge out your own eyes, leaving you unable to continue reading. You may be blind, but at least you have your soul.\n\n\n* __End__\n
TV Tropes consumes you and you are unable to pull away from the computer. After many days, starvation finally puts you out of your misery.\n\n\n* __End__\n
The ''Space Hamsters'' cheer wildly, knowing they have a new champion. They activate the FTL drive and set course for their home planet. When you arrive, the ''Space Gerbils'' immediately surrender upon seeing your immense size. Rest easy hero, you have brought peace to ''Space Rodentkind''.\n\n\n* __End__\n
You join the ghouls at the carnival. It appears to be abandoned. One of the ghouls starts playing a conveniently placed organ and you all dance the night away.\n\n\n* __End__\n
You eat pancakes.\n\n\n* [[NOM NOM NOM|Ninja]]\n
You walk to the nearest bus stop. On the way, you try to come up with a more believable excuse for being so late. You board the next bus. Too late you realize all the passengers are ghouls. They stare at you from their seats.\n\n\n* [[Find an empty seat.|Seat]]\n* [[Abandon the moving vehicle.|Abandon Bus]]\n
The ''Space Hamsters'' gasp at your vulgar insult. Knowing they will not find a friend in you, they levitate you back down to Earth. When you hit the surface, you find yourself in a park.\n\n\n* [[Hang out.|Hang]]\n* [[Find your way home.|Home]]\n
The beam lifts you up into the disk. You lose consciousness as you enter the UFO. You wake up surrounded by ''Space Hamsters''.\n\n"//Greetings Earthy One! We have travelled across the galaxy to find a warrior capable of ending the war with the ''Space Gerbils''! They think they can conquer us because we are small, but you are larger than even the feared ''Space Capybara''! Will you help us liberate our people?//"\n\n\n* [[Uh...|Hero]]\n* [[Er...|Park]]\n
The Breakfast Dilemma
by J. Ryan Thompson
You spend several hours browsing TV Tropes.\n\n\n* [[Keep browsing.|Fate Worse Than Death]]\n* [[Get out while you can!|Eye Scream]]\n
You kick open the door and dive out of the bus. You slam face first into a speed limit sign and everything goes black.\n\n\n* __End__\n
Fuck it. You go to your boring job at your boring office. At least here you won't get assassinated/abducted/eaten.\n\n\n* __End__\n
You walk up to him, but when you are within reach, he throws down a smoke bomb, blinding you. When the smoke clears, you find yourself alone in a park.\n\n\n* [[Hang out.|Hang]]\n* [[Find your way home.|Home]]\n
A ninja crashes, headfirst, through the window. He picks himself up off the kitchen floor, dusts the glass off his shoulders, and looks you right in the eye.\n\n"//You didn't see shit!//" he helpfully informs you, as he jumps back through the window.\n\n\n* [[Chase after him.|Chase]]\n* [[Stare in stunned silence.|Stunned]]\n
Your tires have been slashed by stray shuriken.\n\n\n* [[Take the bus.|Bus]]\n
A drop of syrup falls from your fork as you sit at the kitchen table in utter confusion. You briefly consider going after him, but quickly realize how stupid that would be. It would probably be better to just forget the whole incident.\n\n\n* [[Go to work.|Go to Work]]\n* [[Dick around.|Dick Around]]\n
You sit in the shade of the nicest tree in sight. Why can't you just have a normal day for once?\n\n\n* __End__\n
Your car has been crushed by a piece of the roof.\n\n\n* [[Take the bus.|Bus]]\n
The roof of your house splits open, revealing a flying saucer. An orange beam of light descends from the disk and envelopes you. You feel yourself floating toward the UFO.\n\n\n* [[Resist.|Resist]]\n* [[Float in stunned silence.|Abduction]]\n
You find an empty seat five rows back. You sit in awkward silence next to one of the ghouls. Eventually the ghoul tries to strike up a conversation. You get to talking and the other ghouls tell you they're heading to a carnival and invite you along.\n\n\n* [[Go to work.|Work]]\n* [[Go to the carnival.|Carnival]]\n
You grab the kitchen table and hold on for dear life. Two of the legs come off the ground. You hear a loud whir. The disk trembles and shortly after, the beam shuts off. You fall to the ground and there is an awkward moment of silence before the UFO flies away. You pick yourself up off the floor and go about your day.\n\n\n* [[Head to work.|Head to Work]]\n* [[Dick around.|Dick Around]]\n
You don't recognize this park and in the confusion of everything that has happened, you aren't even sure which direction to go in. You pick one at random and start walking. Along the way, a small faery flies in your face.\n\n"//Wanna go on an adve...//"\n\nYou swat it with the back of your hand and it falls dead to the ground. You've had enough weird shit for today.\n\n\n* __End__\n
You run after the intruder (taking the front door) and follow him for several blocks. When he finally notices you, he turns to face you and gestures you to come closer.\n\n\n* [[Approach him.|Smoke]]\n* [[Stay where you are.|Pay]]\n