(set: $name = 0) (set: $alice = 0) (set: $islam = 0) (set: $bible = 0) (if: $storyend is 0) [It's new years eve. It's been almost a whole year since you and your husband took the oath of citizenship. That day, a new life began. Figuratively and, as you'd learn a few months later, literally. It has been a year of struggles, hardships, but also all the opportunities you were hoping to provide for yourself and your family. Now you're standing on the porch of your own house, watching your daughter slumped down in the grass. Little Deneb is four years old. A bit young to be up so late of course, but considering the occasion and her willful nature it wouldn't feel right to force her to bed early. Her face is lit up in reds, greens and yellows from the distant fireworks. As you watch your daughter watching the fireworks, a soft creak steals your attention. You turn around and find your husband as he steps out on the porch besides you. He's carrying a book in one hand, keeping it firmly tucked under his arm as if he is afraid to lose it. "Happy new year Yuri!" You barely hear him over the loud boom of a rocket exploding somewhere over your house. "How are you feeling? Not too cold I hope." He plants his hand in yours, giving it a firm squeeze. "Happy new year Majid." You smile and return the squeeze. "And thank you for making the old year an adventure." "And the adventures will continue." He moves his hand from your grip to gently press it against your stomach. "Do you think he can hear the fireworks in there?" He doesn't wait for you to respond. Instead, he tugs out the book and presents it to you. "Ah. And this is for you. Something for you to read while you recuperate." "Majid." You shake your head. "I'm not expecting him for at least another month." "I know!" He smiles, neatly trying to hide the faint distress in his voice. "But it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Besides."] (elseif: $storyend is "Majid") ["What if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "this life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more" You look up from the book and smile to Majid. "Nietzsche?" "Yeah..." Majid offers a sheepish smile. "I figured you'd like it." "I do. I do. I mean, it's not exactly light, but then again I prefer heavier stuff when I'm reading." You lean in and give Majid a gentle kiss. "What would I do without you?"] (elseif: $storyend is "university") ["But the past does not exist independently from the present. Indeed, the past is only past because there is a present, just as I can point to something over there only because I am here. But nothing is inherently over there or here. In that sense, the past has no content." You flip the book shut with a chuckle and glance over the cover. "Silencing the past?" "Yeah. I mean, I figured it'd be a book you could enjoy." "It is!" You try and fail to restrain a smile. "It really is. One of my coworkers recommended it to me." "That's... that's good!"] (elseif: $storyend is "rejection") ["Life is both sad and solemn. We are led into a wonderful world, we meet one another here, greet each other - and wander together for a brief moment. Then we lose each other and disappear as suddenly and unreasonably as we arrived." You sigh and close the book. "Sophie's World? I've already read that one multiple times." "Yeah, and then you ended up giving your old copy of the book away at a charity. But I know you love that book, and it'd be a good read for our children when they grow older." "It is a good book. Heavy, but good." You sigh and shake your head before giving Majid a tight squeeze. "Thanks. It's a great gift."] The conversation's cut to a halt by Deneb tugging urgently on your sleeve. "Mom? Mom can I have a firework? Pleeease?" She lifts her eyebrows, lowers her head just a bit and looks meekly up at you. That same sweet smile she always uses to make [[Let Deneb play with a sparkler]] [[Don't let Deneb play with a sparkler]]"Of course." The sparklers have been placed on a shelf in the hallway. You place the book on the shelf, and grab the packet of sparklers and a box of matches before heading back outside. The sparkler springs to life, much to Deneb's delight. The young girl giggles loudly as she grabs the sparkler out of your hand and darts this way and that across the lawn. "Be careful." Majid calls after her, but a single firm grasp on his shoulder keep him from rushing off after her. "She'll be fine. It's just a sparkler. What harm can it do?" "But what if she burns herself? Or stumbles? And don't say I worry too much." A soft chuckle escapes your lips as you lean against him. "But look at how much fun she's having? Isn't that why we moved here? So that she could be free to take small risks and still feel safe? If she falls or burns herself, she'll hurt and cry a little. And by next week the wounds will be as faded as her memory of the event." "Hrmf." He fakes an indignant frown. "Hopefully Deneb won't grow up to be half as wild as you are." "Aww. I love it when you go full drama queen on me." "I've got to scratch my acting itch somehow." He locks eyes with you and smiles, giving you yet another friendly squeeze. He leans slowly forward and "Moooom!" Winces softly as he's forced to pull back. "Mom. Can I have another?" You chuckle softly and light up another sparkler. Deneb snatches it out of your hand as soon as you offer it to her and starts to draw all sorts of shapes in the dark night. She soon tires of her game, and you carry her off to bed. The girl murmurs sweetly as she's tucked under the covers, and you're left to return to your own bed. [[A new member of the family]]"Sorry sweetie. You're still a bit too young." Deneb looks down sadly and crosses her arms before her chest. "But I'll light one and let you watch. How's that?" Her eyes light up immediately and she gives you an eager nod. While you go in to fetch the sparklers, Majid helps Deneb fill a few clay pots with earth. You allow her to plant the sparklers into the pots, but when it's time to light them you let Majid first pull her back before you light them yourself. The sparklers burst into showers of colourful sparks, much to the delight of Deneb. And while she lets herself be enthralled by the lights, Majid wraps his arms around you from behind and pulls you in for a warm hug. "Sweetie, what do you know about new years resolutions?" "Hrm?" You perk up in confusion. "I know they're a thing, but it's not something I've given much thought. Why do you ask?" "Because I've got a resolution for you." He smirks. "For the new year I want you to promise me that you'll let me help with the baby." "What? You don't think Deneb'll manage to keep your hands full?" "I'm serious." He forces forth a smile. "They're my kids too. You don't have to carry the burden all by yourself." "Is that what this is about?" You sigh through gritted teeth. "Fine. Fine. I'll let you help. I mean... of course I'll let you help. You shouldn't have to ask." And yet he did. It's not really a conversation that will lead anywhere though. Neither of you press the issue, and soon enough it's time to tuck Deneb to bed and go to sleep yourself. Tomorrow it'll be back to the daily grind. [[A new member of the family]]A crying voice echoes in the back of your mind. It's a voice you've never heard before, and yet it feels so familiar. Your body aches all over. You're tired, sleepy, drained in every way, and yet you can't help but force yourself to consciousness. As your eyes open, Majid comes into view. Clutched tightly against his chest is a tiny bundle of cloth that's wrapped around an even tinier red head. Majid himself looks at you with a warm smile as he gently rocks the bundle. "It's a boy! A healthy perfect lovely little boy!" You smile weakly and reach your hands out. The sensation is unreal. Is it even your son? You were sedated through the whole process. It's hard to say if you're any lighter. You don't feel lighter, you don't look smaller, and you're far too exhausted to even think about standing up. And all those thoughts evaporate the moment the tiny bundle is nestled up against your chest. His tiny eyes are closed. His face is wrinkled. He feels cold and warm, all at once. But he is smiling. Asleep and smiling. An adorably innocent smile, unaware of everything around him. "He's... precious." You shift a bit, steadying yourself against the pillows as you make yourself comfortable. "And you look haggard. What time is it?" "Almost five in the morning." Majid responds while struggling to hide a yawn. "You got me worried. That was quite a nasty fall. They told me that they want to keep you and the baby for observation until tomorrow. There weren't any complications during the procedure itself. It's mostly to be on the safe side." "Ah." You murmur, only half paying attention to the words. The other half focuses on those cute little baby hands as they grab at your clothes. And when they do manage to get a grip, those hands clench as hard as he possibly can. "What about Deneb?" "She fell asleep while you were..." His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth. "I carried her out in the car. I was thinking of letting her come on in and say hi to her little brother, but maybe it'll be better to wait until you come home?" "Let's wait. She should sleep as much as she can, otherwise she'll be cranky all day. Oh. Did you?" "Heh. Yeah, I already called the University. They've been informed." "Thank you. I'll have to send them the papers. And then there's the tests. I don't know if I'll manage to grade them all. And then." "Shh." Majid plants a finger on your lips. "Don't worry about that. You've more important things to worry about. Like his name." He motions to the little bundle where your son is happily nibbling on your blanket. "Have you decided on a name for him?" [[Alexander. A name to hide his ethnicity.]] [[Hafiz. Heritage is important]](set: $name to "Hafiz") "I think I'll call him $name." You reach down and gently brush a hand across the face of the little baby. "Something to remind him of your heritage." "It's... nice." Majid frowns. "But won't that make it harder for him to integrate and make friends?" "Perhaps, but that's a maybe. And you know I don't let maybe and possibly decide for me." Your grasp tightens around the little boy, hard enough that he wakes up and begins to cry. "Ah. Sorry to wake you up little fella." Majid rubs a finger gently across the baby's cheek, all while you gently rock him back and forth. "Your mother and I were just discussing what your name should be." "Shh... there there." You croon gently. "Thanks for taking care of him until I woke up, but you should probably get home if you're going to get any sleep before work." "Heh. I..." He stifles a yawn. "Mrm. No, I do need to sleep. I'll let the nurse know that you're awake. They'll probably want to speak with you." "Thank you. Say hi to Deneb from me, and sleep well." [[At home->Putting him to sleep]](set: $name to "Alexander") "I... think we should call him Alexander." You give the boy a tender squeeze. "Michael? I like it. It's strong, powerful. The name of a real go-getter. And it won't stand out among his friends." "Yeah... that's actually part of the idea." You let a slight sigh escape your lips. "I don't want him to have to go through being ostracized by his peers because of his name." "You think that would happen with a different name?" "I... I don't know. I'd hope not. But how many work interviews did you miss out on because of your name?" "An unknowable amount." Majid tries to smirk, though to little effect as he ends up yawning through it. "It's something we could speculate on forever. It may be none, or it may be hundreds. But I only needed that one interview to actually land a job." "You sent out hundreds of applications?" "Pedant." Majid yawns even louder this time. "But you know what I mean." "I do... and you're right. I still want him to be called $name though. And you should probably try to get some sleep before you head off to work." "Sleep well Majid." [[At home->Putting him to sleep]]"But I don't want to sleep! I'm not tired!" $name locks eyes wih you, frowning defiantly up at you as he stomps about the room. "I know you probably don't feel tired $name, but you really need to sleep. If you don't sleep now, then you'll be sleepy tomorrow when you can't sleep." "No. I don't want to!" You sigh and rub your forehead. "Deneb doesn't have to!" "Deneb is older so she gets to stay up a little longer. Look, how about I cut you a deal? If you go to bed now, I'll read for you until you fall asleep. Is that okay?" He grumbles, seeming to mull it over before he nods. "Okay. That's okay." He doesn't sound completely happy about this, but there are no further verbal complaints, and soon enough he's cuddled up in his bed. You reach down and gently tuck the blanket around him, bundling him up while coaxing a soft giggle from him. "What are you going to read?" "Hrm... I haven't decided. Any pref... what do you want me to read?" "Uhhh..." He stutters and shrugs. "Something new?" "New?" You chuckle softly. $name loves his books, so you don't have any stories that he hasn't already heard. You'll probably have to decide on an old book and do something new with that. Unless... [[Read the Bible]] [[Read the Koran]] [[Read Alice in Wonderland]] $alice(set: $bible to 1) "This is the bible." You show off the book of golden pages bound in red leather. "This particular one was a gift from my grandmother. Have you heard about this book before?" He shakes his head gently. "I see. To me, it's a really important book. It doesn't contain the same kind of stories I usually read for you. These are stories about people who lived long, long ago. It's supposed to help teach you how to live." "Is it good?" "Fantastic." You say without thinking. "But... it can also be difficult to understand at points. I haven't read it before because I want you to develop your own way." From the look $name gives you, it's easy to see that he has no idea what you're talking about. "Ah. Enough talking for now. I've got a story here for you, about a queen who saved her people." You clear your thought, watch $name get comfy in his blankets and then begin to read in a loud, clear voice. "This is what happened during the time of Xerxes..." "When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor." You look up from the book and find that he is fast asleep. You place a gentle kiss on his forehead and turn of the light by the nightstand. [[Evening at home]](set: $islam to 1) "This book belongs to your father." You present the holy text to him. "It's written in Arabic. Your father is planning to use it to help teach you arabic when you get older. I haven't read the book myself." You rub your chin thoughtfully. "He has asked me to read through it though, so why don't we do so together?" "But I don't know Arabic." "Not a worry. I'll translate for you." You open the book and skim the pages. The language itself isn't a barrier, but it's hard to know exactly where to find something that is suitable for a young boy like $name. He listens intently to the passages you do read out though, and it doesn't take long before he's sleeping soundly. Hopefully you've managed to pique his interest, you think as you turn off the lamp on the nightstand. [[Evening at home]] (set: $alice to 1) "Alice in Wonderland?" $name whines and crosses his arms over his chest. "But you've already read that." "True. Which is why this time, we're going to do something different?" "What?" He perks up like an excited rabbit. "Heh." You gently poke his nose. "I'm going to teach you about allegories?" You notice the sheer confusion on his face from that word. "It means that there is another story hidden within the first story. You know how Alice eats a cake and drinks from a bottle and then grows and shrinks?" He nods his head slowly. "Well, when we read it, it was clear that Alice herself actually did grow and did shrink. But what if her growing and shrinking meant something else? It might mean that she got braver, or more scared for example." You bite your lips. That's not as good an example as you'd hope, but there is an expression of dawning realisation on $name's face. "I think I get it." He murmurs. "Great!" You smile and begin to read, stopping a few times to ask $name what he thinks something means, while never confirming nor denying his statements. He remains awake for several chapters before he finally falls asleep. You stifle a yawn of your own as you turn of the lights. [[Evening at home]] "This is nice." You sigh contently and pull your legs up against you while you watch the crackling flames of the fireplace. The kids are asleep and for once you've got no work that needs to be done. "It is." Majid murmurs, taking a sip from his cup. "In between Deneb's art classes, (if: $islam is 1) [$name's theology studies] (else:) [$name's science project] and work, I can't recall the last time we had an evening with nothing to do but us." "Me neither." You smile and take a sip of your own wine. "What do you feel like? Would you like to watch a movie or just cuddle?" "Well..." His line of thought is interrupted by an annoying beep. Majid sighs and pulls the phone out of his pocket. "Ignore it. Whatever it is it can wait until tomorrow." "Apparently not." Majid frowns and pushes himself up, his fingers urgently typing out a message. "One of my coworkers has an important presentation tomorrow, and she needs my help." "What? Now? This late?" You blink incredulously. "And she needs your help?" "Apparently." He puts the phone down on the table and hugs you tight against him. "I'm really sorry about this. I promise I'll make it up to you at some point. But for now I really have to go. If she fails, she'll bring everyone down with her." You give a defeated sigh and watch as he stands up and walks to the front door. A soft buzz alerts you that he forgot his cellphone. You lean forward to pick it up, figuring that Majid'll need it when he goes to work. But as your eyes pass across the screen you notice the response. "Thanks a lot big guy. You're a dear." The rest is just a blur, where you can't recall if you gave the phone back to Majid, or if he remembered it on his own. It didn't matter when your mind is focused on deciphering just what that message meant. [[Another evening at home]]"This is nice." You sigh contently and pull your legs up against you while you watch the crackling flames of the fireplace. The kids are asleep and for once you've got no work that needs to be done. "It is." Majid murmurs, taking a sip from his cup. "In between Deneb's leaving for college,(if: $alice is 1) [$name's huge project for the science fair] (else:) [$name dragging me out to train] and work, things have been pretty hectic. I can't recall the last time we had an evening like this." You can. And ever since that message has been tossed about inside your head. Did it mean anything? You want to believe that it's nothing, and yet. You've checked. There's a long history of terms of affection from her, aimed at Majid. "Majid...?" "Hrm?" He smiles down at you. "What's on your mind?" [[Confront him]] [[Ignore it]]"This coworker of yours..." You look up at him, trying to gauge a reaction. However he remains impassive. "The one who you've been working a lot of overtime with as of late." "Hrm? Do you mean Juli? What about her?" You mentally steel yourself. There's no going back now. "Is there anything more going on between the two of you?" "What? You're joking right?" His expression remains calm, a bit fearful. But you can't tell if he's surprised or not. Or even what that would mean. "Of course I'm not. How could you even think that?" "So what's all these messages she sends to you where she calls you "dear" or other terms of endearment?" "Wait. Have you been snooping in my mail?" "Don't change the subject!" "No seriously! You've been snooping in my mail? What's wrong with you Yuri? You can't even trust me enough to talk to me? You have to go behind my back and snoop in my private correspondence?" "Why are you getting so mad? There is something going on, isn't there?" "No! I..." Majid growls and plants a palm on his forehead. "I'm going for a walk. We'll talk when I get back home." "Majid?" He ignores you. "Majid stop." He walks out of the living room. He puts on his shoes and jacket, refusing to look at you as he slams the door behind him and disappears into the night. You're left alone, staring dumbly at the door as you process what just happened. "Majid. You stupid, stupid..." You inhale through gritted teeth and brush a hand over your neck. Cooling your heads before talking this out is smart. You try to swallow the vaguely bad feeling that knots itself in your gut and let time pass. Minutes move into hours, and at some point you must have dozed off because you're woken up by your cellphone. "Majid?" "Hello. Am I talking to ms... Yuri Fahraad?" "Fahrade." You murmur back, already painfully aware of what's coming next. "Ah. I... am sorry ma'am. It's about your husband." [[Continue->Moving out]]"Nothing... important." You murmur after a bit of thought. "Just a passing thought." You smile up at him. "I've got you for tonight, and that's all that matters." "Tonight and forever." He smiles and gives you a friendly squeeze. "(if: $alice is 1) [Oh, that reminds me. Deneb sent me pictures of her new dorm. She told me that she's doing well, and that she's already making friends." He tugs his phone out, and the two of you spend the rest of the evening shuffling through the pictures she has sent you. Watching the pictures help put your mind at ease. He couldn't ever want to leave you, leave the kids. You and your family is going to stay together for a long time.] (else:) [Though, if you don't mind me being a bit of a downer, I'm worried about $name." "Hrm? Why is that?" "I..." He sighs. "I don't want him joining the military. He's a smart kid. He doesn't have anything to prove." "No." You agree, giving him a firm squeeze as you do. "But even if he is planning to enlist, that'll be far in the future no?" "He is already making plans for it. It's why he has been training so hard as of late." "Then talk to him." You lock eyes with him and smile. "He looks up to you and I'm sure he'll be convinced to not join the military if you do." "And what if I push him away from something he really wants to do?" "You can't and won't. You can't stop him from doing something he really wants to do, because he is just as headstrong as you are. And even if you could somehow push him into not going, you wouldn't." "Thanks." He smiles. That same, charming, gentle smile that you can't help but admire. "I'll talk with him." The rest of the evening fades away in a blur as you talk about $name. He couldn't ever want to leave you, leave the kids. You and your family is going to stay together for a long time.] [[New Year's Eve]]"I've got a new job!" Deneb smiles cheerfully and without waiting for a response she pulls out a letter, opens it, and shows it off to both of you. "That's great." $name scans across the paper before passing it over to you. "So you'll be moving abroad?" "Yeah. They want me to work as a teacher. Me. Isn't that wonderful?" "But why do you have to travel so far, just to get a job? Couldn't you find something more local?" "Mother. This isn't just any teaching job." She takes a hearty bite from her sandwich before continuing. "I've signed a NDA, so I can't tell you too many details about the job. But the ones I'll be teaching aren't regular kids. I... well actually I'm not sure if I'm allowed to even say that. But this is a once in a life-time opportunity. I'd be a fool not to take it." "I'm just not sure I want you moving that far away." "Mother..." She takes your hand in hers and looks you straight in the eyes. "It'll be fine. I'll still be able to come visit for major holidays. But I need this. I need to get out there in the world and" "Forget?" You regret the words almost as soon as you say them. "Move on." Deneb sighs. "So $name. What about you? Any good news to report on your end?" (if: $alice is 1)["Yeah! I'm going to the local university. Not as exciting as your job, but I'm looking forward to it." "Sounds great." Deneb smiles and looks back at you. "And hey, if $name's staying in town then at least you won't be alone." "No, I suppose I won't. I just... have a bad feeling about it is all." "Mother. The job is perfectly safe. You have absolutely nothing to worry about, and I'll be back for new years eve as usual. There's nothing to worry about." [[Nothing at all->The New Year's Eve]] ] (else:)["Maybe. I've been trying to enlist. The screening process is in two weeks, so I won't know if I'm in just yet. I'll let you know as soon as I know something though." "Yeah..." You stare mutely at your cup of coffee. The kids aren't going to go away forever, and yet it feels oddly like that. (if: $name is "Hafiz")[[[The result->Rejected]]](elseif: $islam is 1)[[[The result ->Rejected]]](else:)[[[The result->Accepted]]]]"Happy new year mother!" $name wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes hard. "You look great!" "Thank you! You look great as well." You return the hug. "Dinner is almost ready." "Great, and what about Deneb? When'll she come?" $name shifts the bag of his shoulders, dropping and pushing it into a corner with a loud thud. "In a few hours. She sent me a message that her flight was delayed." "Ah. Well I'm going to say hi to pa." He gives you a friendly squeeze and walks on in. You're left to close the door and check your phone to see if Deneb has given you any other messages. None from the looks of it. You sigh, rubbing your hands together while trying to dismiss the gnawing worry in the back of your mind. Upstairs, Majid and $name talk together freely, and you pour yourself a glass of wine to join in on the conversation. The evening progresses with food, more wine, and the TV turned on to watch the news. You try to distract yourself from the background noise by checking your phone again for further news from Deneb, only to snap to attention when the news talk about a plane crash. "No..." You mouth. "Yuri?" "That's Deneb's plane. My girl. She's..." "Yuri?! Stay with us." Your fingers desperately punch in Deneb's number, but you can't reach her. You look about yourself. Everything is blurry with tears. "I can't. I can't lose her as well." "We're losing her!" There's a firm grasp on your shoulder and you look up to see Majid. He's holding you, shaking you as if trying to wake you up. But you can't. What is there to wake up to? Nothing. (set: $storyend to "Majid") [[Your vision swims and fades to black->Start]]"Happy new year mother!" $name wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes hard. "Happy new year to you as well." You smile and gaze up at the sky with him. The sky is bright with fireworks. Reds and greens that try to distract your mind. Though the constant glancing at the cellphone ends up far more distracting. "Mom?" $name waves his hand before your face. "Mom you're zoning out. What's on your mind?" "Oh, nothing. I'm just wondering why I haven't heard from Deneb." You sigh and step back into the house. From the corner of your eye you notice that the TV is on. You walk on over to turn it off, not really paying attention to it until it talks about a plane crash. "No..." You mouth. "Mom?" "That's Deneb's plane. My girl. She's..." "Mom? Wake up." You feel cold and nauseous. Your fingers desperately prod the phone to call Deneb, but there's no response. None at all. "Yes? Hello. I need an ambulance." There's a firm grasp on your shoulder and you look sideways at $name as he desperately tries to shake you out of your stupor. But his voice and features just end up becoming more and more distant. (set: $storyend to "university") [[Your vision swims and fades to black->Start]]"I've been rejected." $name exhales softly. "I didn't pass the examinations." "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie." You want to reach out and hug him, but he is far too old for that. All you can do is stand there and offer a reassuring smile. "Did they tell you the reason you failed?" "No." He sighs and shakes his head. "Well, it's not like it matters anyway. It's just... I really wanted this." "Of course. But don't let it get you down. To me, you have nothing to prove. And they're the ones who miss out on a strong, brave, devoted young man, eager to lay his life down for his country." "Mother!" He rubs the back of his head and grumbles softly. "You're embarassing me. And making it sound like I'm suicidal." "Don't be silly. Of course you aren't." "No. I'm not." He locks eyes with you. "I'm sure you're happy though, with me staying I mean. Now you don't have to be alone." "$name. I... I couldn't have you stay with me forever. I just don't want to lose you." "Mom. I know that the loss of dad hurts, but you can't keep me here forever. What about Deneb?" "What about her?" "Well, she'll be coming to visit you from time to time as well. So really, there's nothing to worry about." "I suppose that's true. And I am looking forward to her next visit." [[Her next visit->A New Years Eve]]"They accepted me!" $name smiles cheerfully and pulls you in for a tight hug. "Yes. Oh man. This'll be great!" "Yeah... great." You force a smile, geniune enough that he doesn't notice the stiffness of it. "So you'll be leaving soon then?" "Yeah. I'll be starting Basic Training in two weeks. That'll be a few months before I can advance and join in on international missions." "You don't have to defend the world, you know. Basic Training alone should be plenty to add to a resume." "Mom..." He plants his hands on his hips and shakes his head. "I've told you how many times? It's not about what's good for me. If that is all, I'd never join the military. But it's about what I can do for the world. I can make a difference this way." "Hah. You and your sister are the same. Equally headstrong. Equally willful." You lock eyes with him. Plant a palm on his shoulder as if to add weight to your argument. "But. I don't need my children to be heroes who save the world. I. Know that I probably don't have to say it. But I'll love you no matter what. I don't need heroes. I need you." "But don't you see. That's exactly why I have to do this. I'm lucky. Extremely lucky. That's why I... that's why we feel the need to help "save the world". Deneb in her way. And me in my own way." "Heh... you two really are your father's children. Just. Promise me that you'll come home safe?" "Hey, I promise. And you know me. I don't lie." He offers his most cheerful smile and pats your shoulder, before heading off to pack his bags. [[The last New Year's Eve]]"So when'll your plane arrive?" "If everything goes according to plan, I'll be home before midnight. Take care and say hi to $name from me." "Okay sweetie. I love you." "I love you too. Bye!" "Bye." You look up from the phone and smile. "Deneb asked me to say hi." "Yeah? Do you think she'll arrive?" "What do you mean. Of course she'll come. Why wouldn't she come?" "I don't know? Why are you watching the news?" "I'm not." You begin to protest, except you are. You've got the remote in one hand, and the TV buzzing in front of you. It's all static and snow as you idly flip through the channels. Only when you hit the standby button does the screen solidify into a news report about a plane crash. Deneb's plane. "Mom?" "No..." You mouth. "That's Deneb's plane. My girl. She's..." "She's on her way. Isn't that what you said? So stay with me." You feel $name's hand on your shoulder, gripping you. Shaking you gently, but it's not enough to stay awake. (set: $storyend to "rejection") [[Your vision swims and fades to black->Start]]It's New Year's Eve. Soon it'll be midnight. Deneb should already have arrived. But she hasn't. No phone calls. No messages. No nothing. In your hands you hold a box filled with crumpled letters. Old poems from Majid. One for each anniversary. Beneath the poems are pictures of you and your family. Of Deneb and $name from when they were just toddlers to shortly before they went out in the world, seeking their fortune. You shuffle through birth certificates, postcards, grade cards, all the way down to the bottom where you've hidden Majid's death certificate. You pull it out. Place it beside you on the table. Then you pull out another letter. You make out a few words from the brief glance. "Mrs Fahrade." "Sorry to inform." "died." You push the two documents together, unwilling to read more. This will be the very first New Years Eve that you'll celebrate alone. You weren't supposed to celebrate it alone. Deneb still... Deneb is still on her way, but for some reason she hasn't arrived yet. You pull out your phone, dialling Deneb's number once more when the radio thrumming in the background stops the song for an important news update. Your heart sinks in your chest, and you slam the phone into the couch with a cry of "no" as they talk about how Deneb's flight has been in a terrible accident. You don't know how long you remain in a state of lethargy. Unable, or unwilling to do anything. Majid is gone. $name is gone. And now, Deneb is gone as well. On the table is a bottle of champagne. You were supposed to share it with your daughter to ring in the new year. But there's no one to share it with now. Might as well pop it open and drink it. No need for a glass. You just lift the bottle to your lips and drink. Straight from the bottle. It's not like there'll be anyone seeing you, who'll comment on your lack of manners. The more you drink, the more dizzy you get, but the less you feel that enroaching sense of emptiness. And so you just keep drinking, until your vision swims. Your body goes weak and numb. You sink into the couch and gaze up at the light. And when your vision blurs, you accept it. [[Your vision swims and fades to white->Hospital bed]]You wake up. Somehow you weren't expecting this. You're still uncertain if this is what you want. But the splitting headache and the stinging of bright lights inform you that you're still alive. It takes some time to adjust to the brightness and you can only blink to try and make out the foggy silhouette before you. "Fahrade?" A voice asks, and you can only grumble in response. "Ah. You are waking up. That's great. That was a close call." It's a female voice, but it's not Deneb. She'd never call you by your last name anyway. "You've got to be careful. We had to pump your stomach due to MDI. If you'll just let me, I need to change your drip. You were quite dehydrated when they brought you in after all." The incessantly cheerful voice grinds in your ears and aggravates your headache. Trying to see doesn't help with the headache either, so you let your eyes close. She keeps talking on and on about the dangers of mixing drugs with alcohol, about liver-damage and hydration values. And never once does she stop being so annoyingly cheerful. It feels like a small eternity before she finally asks a question you can actually answer. "The doctor will check on you later. But do you feel well enough for visitors?" "Visitors? What visitors?" "Oh, the woman who called for an ambulance. Didn't catch her name. Do you feel well enough for her to say hi?" "Yes? Yes of course!" You actually don't feel well enough, but you have to know who that is. As the nurse steps out, you push yourself up. The headache makes it hard to not simply sink back down, but by will alone you manage to remain sitting. You watch the door, mouth agape as it opens once more. "You're not dead?!" "Mother!" The sheer relief of hearing Deneb's voice makes the splitting headache worth it. "You had me so worried." "But... but how. Your plane." Your mind is stuck trying to process the joyous news, and you can't resist as she pulls you in for a tight hug. "I thought you died in that plane crash." "Mother..." She doesn't say anything else. Not yet. She just holds you tight against her, rubbing her hands into you and savouring the hug for as long as possible. When she finally looks back at you it is easy to see that she's been crying. "i... how do I say it. I survived because I wasn't on the plane. They had overbooked. A couple of us had to wait for a later plane. I volunteered and... well." She spreads her arm. "I dodged a bullet. I'm sorry I didn't let you know, but I forgot to charge my phone and... and what did you even do?!" "I... I don't know. What did I do? Everything's been such a... blur. I recall Majid, and $name and you and... something about MDI?" "They told me so. You mixed alcohol and pills!" Her voice is ringing with both anger and fear. "I come home to find you passed out on the couch, unresponsive with an empty bottle of champagne next to you and I... I..." She frowns. "I was so scared that you'd end up leaving me all alone." "Oh... Deneb. I'm sorry. I never should've. I just. I thought that I was left all alone. That god had taken you from me as well." "Mother..." "And I'm sorry." You feel your eyes moistening. Just a bit. No tears yet. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never should've been so... stupid. I just." "You miss dad and little bro." She finishes for you. "I saw the box." "I just... I miss them Deneb. And I can't help but feel I failed them. If I'd just done something else. If I had acted differently. If I hadn't been so stupid I'd have... I'd have..." "Spent less time beating yourself up?" Deneb shakes her head. "I miss them too mom. But we can't change the past. Father died saving lives. Lil brother died saving lives. Why would you change their best traits?" "I could've acted differently. Stopped them from being in the situations in the first place." by now, the headache has been reduced to a dull, faint roar. A suitable penance, all things considered. "No. You couldn't. Because you had no idea. Hindsight's 20/20 and all that and. It's just... gah. I didn't believe you were this far down. If I had known I'd..." She growls and scuffs her foot against the ground. "Well I just made a hypocrite of myself." She exhales. "I'm sorry. I suppose I'm just as much an emotional mess right now as you are. I'll come back later. I just... had to see you. Had to know that you'd make it." "Deneb..." Your eyes meet. That's enough to keep her from leaving the room in a huff right now. "I feel that there's so much more to say. So much more I should say. But right now I have a killer headache and I'm not in a good head space. But I know that I promised you a New Year's Eve celebration. It's a bit late for that but... care to join me for a second one later on?" "Of course. I've still got the sparklers for dad's grave." She nods her head and walks out. There's nothing more to say, nothing more that needs to be said. You sink back down into the bed, slide your eyes shut and relax. It doesn't take long before you sink into a content, dreamless sleep. The end!