You approach the stone with an inquisitive gaze, trying to figure out how i could think it looks like a malformed sleeping giraffe. \n\nNo tilt your head more to the left. Try sqinting your right eye. Now cough. See it now?\n\nugh nevermind you need glasses. \n\n\nAs you gradually creep closer to the stone, you trip on a scraggly root which formed the "G" of "Ogleknockers" and your head slams in the rocks hoof. \n\nThe sound your head makes as it hits the rock is just gross. Like super disgusting. Like really i think I might vom. omg seriously it was like the most gross sound. \n\nAnyway blood spills all over the forest floor, but quickly seeps into the ground and causes the grass to fade a little.\n\nBefore your lifeless corpse can be infested with fungi and maggots, an innumrable number of ninjas jump out of the trees and loot your body, taking all your earthly possessions including your goodish pants which were utterly ruined because of stupid Andy. Why would they even want those? There's a clear hole in them. Utterly useless pants now. \n\nNeedless to say, you're dead.
You prance over to the tree to double check that the roots really do spell "ogleknockers" and indeed they do. Impressed with your prancing form, the deer bows and leaps away into the forest. \n\nYou take a closer look at the tree's trunk. Feeling it's bark, each notch like a thousand year old story waiting to be told. A soft trumpet plays in the distance as you ponder what great sights this great ogleknockers tree has seen in it's inconcievably long lifetime. \n\nThe sun slowly sets as you continue to caress the tree, entranced by the sultry tones of the trumpet. As you sit at the trees base, you hear a rusting in the trees and someone mumble something which sounded like "I just really wanted those pants". Probably just a leaf squirrel. Nothing to worry about. \n\nYou rest on your head on the trees trunk as a saxaphone joins the trumpet in what has got to be one of the most magnificent jazz duos ever heard. You drift off to sleep in the blue moonlight, relaxed, content, and [[at peace with the world.|DIE]]
[[Like SUUUUUUUPER long.|DIE3]]
You sleep for a [[really long time.|DIE2]]
You approach the deer slowly, managing not to distract it as it grazes on that strangely grey piece of grass. What kind of grass is grey anyway, shouldn't it green or something. Like I know you're in Forest Gocklemire and all but still, grey grass seems a little out of pl-it's looking right at you.\n\ndon't move!\n\nno seriously\n\nstop moving you idiot!\n\n\'s stopped looking at you...but it's ears are verily pointed in your direction. \n\n...\n\nwhat's that noise?\n\nit sounds like...a low they have washing machines in Forest Gocklemire? And why is it getting hot in here all of a sudden?\n\nwait, the [[deer...|deer2]]\n
Your gaze rises to see the deers glowing red eyes and ears a mere 30 centimetres from your own (which aren't glowing btw). The heat is unbearable and you're sweating like that time you had to give a speech infront of 600 very inportant people just after running a marathon. \n\nyou see the glow quickly converge into a single beam which fries your entire head off. Like seriously your entire head. Like nothing left. Just a stump where your neck used to be. not even your ears escape even though they did stick out a little too much. \n\nyou dead son.
You stumble into the forest, still regaining balance after tumbling down that hill which was at least like 150 metres long. Like seriously you were tumbling for a solid 5 minutes there. \n\nAs you finally come to a standstill, you dust yourself off and- GODDAMNIT! there's a hole in your pants! Frickin' Andy. What a weiner. I mean these are your goodish pants you wear them to informal parties to impress people and stuff like come on. I hate Andy. \n\nAnyway [[you walk forward|Forest 1]]
You come to a clearing and I'm sorry i can't continue to describe what's infront of you because seriously how much of a douche can one person be!? All you said was "I hope you die you retchid piece of scum!" in a somewhat forceful tone and Andy decides it's time to push you down the hill into Forest Gocklemire. \n\nfuckin' andy.\n\nAnyway you come to a clearing and there's [[a stone in the shape of a malformed sleeping giraffe|stone]], [[a tree with roots which seem to spell "ogleknockers"|ogleknockers]], and a [[deer|deer]].
Really? it's literally 4 in the afternoon and you're still alseep.\n\nWAKE UP!\n\nI shake your shoulder a little bit whilst saying your name, that usually wakes people up. \n\nI do it again in hopes repetition will grab your sleeping brain's attention. \n\nyou don't wake. \n\nI'm seriously getting worried here dude. If you're pranking me that's not cool. \n\nSTOP IT!\n\nI'M SERIOUSLY FREACKIN OUT!\n\nARE YOU DEAD!?\n\nIF YOU'RE NOT DEAD JUST LIKE BREATHE TWICE OR SOMETHING!\n\n\nI place my ear under your nose\n\nSHIT!\n\ngood one!\n\nyou died.
Mysterious Adventures in a mysterious location