Tirin wakes up and wonders what he should do today.
[[Tirin should have sex with another version of himself]]
[[Tirin should have sex with several other versions of himself->orgy]]
[[Tirin should eat some cake.]]
[[Tirin is stupid, this story should be about Cutiepool->Cutiepool]]"I should have sex with my clone!" says Tirin.
Tirin goes back in time to have sex with his past self.
How far back in time does Tirin go?
[[2 years back]]
[[8 years back]]
[[5 years forward]]Tirin goes to Elliot's Diner. Inside, Elliot is serving up grub to the various forum degenerates.
"Hi Tirin," says Elliot. "What'll it be?"
[[Tirin orders chocolate cake.]]
[[Tirin orders carrot cake.]]Tirin orders chocolate cake.
He eats it.
It is delicious.
It is a good day.
THE END!"Ha ha, good one," says Elliot. "Carrot cake?"
"I like carrot cake," says Blooky from a booth at the back of the restaurant.
"You like Nickelback!" shouts Shadow from outside the diner.
[[Tirin eats chocolate cake.]]
[[Tirin eats Shadow.]]Tirin eats some delicious chocolate cake.
It is a good day.
THE END!"Someone help!" shouts Shadow as he is being devoured. "This is not a series of events I anticipated!"
Tirin finishes eating Shadow. Elliot scowls and asks Tirin to clean up the mess. Blooky enjoys her carrot cake uninterrupted.
It is a good day.
THE END!Tirin goes back two years in time.
"Hey, you're probably here to have sex" says Past Tirin. "I'm down."
[[Have sex with Past Tirin]]
[[Go eat cake with Past Tirin]]
(if: (history:) contains "orgy")[(link-goto: "Bring Tirin back for your orgy")](if: not ((history:) contains "orgy"))[Tirin travels back in time year and tries to have sex with himself from a previous timeline.
Tirin gets arrested for pedophilia, the sick fuck.
It is not a good day.
THE END!
<audio src="http://whimsicalwill.tripod.com/tone3.wav" autoplay>]
(else: )["Hey kid. Want to see your destiny?"
"Suck my dick old man."
"Oh, I will. I will."
(link-goto: "Suck little Tirin's dick","Pedo")
(link-goto: "Abduct little Tirin for your orgy","Worse Pedo")]Tirin travels forward in time.
Future Tirin is a cruel emperor of humanity's shattered remnants.
"What do you want, inferior past self?" asks Future Tirin.
[[Tirin asks what caused this shattered world.]]
[[Tirin asks why it took so long for Future Tirin to become emperor.]]
(if: (history:) contains "orgy")[(link-goto: "Bring back Future Tirin for Tirin's orgy","Proposition")]Future Tirin looks sad and shakes his head.
"TC became forum mayor" says Future Tirin. "The world ceased to be in minutes. This is a sad timeline indeed."
Tirin and Tirin have sex, but Future Tirin isn't really in the mood so it's not as excellent as expected.
Still, it is a good day.
THE END!"Got drunk too often," says Future Tirin. "Wanna do it?"
Tirin and Tirin have sex.
It is a good day.
THE END!Tirin and Tirin have sex.
"Ha, gayyyyyyyyyyyyy!" shouts Tag Ross from the inside of the refridgerator.
"Why is Tag Ross in the fridge?" asks Tirin.
"This is a strange timeline," says Past Tirin. "Now pass the lube."
Tirin and Tirin have more sex.
It is a pretty damn good day.
THE END!You go eat cake with past tirin.
Past Tirin is kind of annoying.
The little shit.
It's an okay day.
THE END!How many Tirins should Tirin have sex with?
[[Three]]
[[Seventeen]]
[[All the Tirins.->Madness]]Which Tirin should Tirin retrieve first?
[[2 years back]]
[[8 years back]]
[[5 years forward]]Tirin has a crazy orgy with seventeen other Tirins.
It was a good arbitrary point in time for the Tirins.
THE END!"Hmm... I'll have to save myself some work and go to one of my orgies, then just invite //everyone// else I left out of that one."
[[Tirin goes back to his biggest, favorite orgy]]Two Tirins does not an orgy make.
[[Crash another Tirin orgy to speed this up]]
[[Carefully hand pick the remaining Tirins]]Tirin and Tirin burst into the middle of a massive Tirin orgy, already jerking each other off a bit at the thought of what is to come.
"Hey Tirin, I don't remember this one being quite this big. What's up with that?"
"It's because I painted it black."
"No, the orgy."
[[Give a fuck about the orgy being the wrong size]]
[[Pick your Tirins to give a fuck]]Tirin realizes that he's the absolute greatest and all Tirins are basically equally fun to have a crazy orgy with.
Tirin retrieves the remaining Tirins and a good time was had by all.
THE END!"Really, why are there so many Tirins here?"
"Might have something to do with that giant, throbbing, teal dick."
"The one in your hand?"
"No, that one!"
Tirin points at a monstrously tall teal dick erected out of the ground, gently waving in the wind.
"Huh, that's... Wait, that thing is in //every time//."
"What kind of fucking idiot would do that?"
"Every Tirin ever is here! No, this is bad. We have to get out of here."
"We can't just leave the other Tirins here, we have to destroy that magnificent dick."
[[Get out of here]]
[[Destroy that magnificent dick]]Tirin and Tirin pry their choices of Tirins off the other Tirins and start to take them to their //way better orgy// (because Tirin planned it).
"HEY! YOU NOT-FUCKERS GET BACK HERE!"
Tirin begins chasing Tirin, Tirin, Tirin, and Tirin.
"This is making me sweat."
"I'll make you sweat, sexy."
"Oh I'll make YOU do more than sweat..."
Tirin, Tirin, Tirin, Tirin, and Tirin get distracted by their overwhelming sexual attractiveness and resume their orgy.
THE END!Tirin begins committing pedophilia on himself, just as Mama Maelstrom and Daddy Tirin fling the door open.
"OH MY OCORN, GET OFF LITTLE TIRIN!"
"Wait a second, how did I not know I was my own-"
Mama Maelstrom begins mercilously beating Tirin as Daddy Tirin calls the police.
No time lording can save Tirin from the law.
THE END!
(No pedophilia actually occurred in the making of this story, except in the infinitely many alternate timelines in which alternate Tirin got away with being a sick fuck)Tirin grabs little Tirin and begins to abscond with him through several time portals.
"Really old man, this is fucked up."
"Listen, kid, eventually you're gonna realize that you're the best person in every conceivable time line in every conceivable way."
"Bitch, way ahead of you."
"Come on, you haven't even been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning yet."
"Bitch, way ahead of you."
"You know what, shut your mouth until we get to the orgy."
Little Tirin waves his hand at the next time portal as Tirin goes through, but before little Tirin is dragged along. The time on the opposite end of the portal shifts, temporally severing Tirin's hand.
[[Come back super pissed->Get arrested]]
[[Writhe in pain->Get arrested]]Before Tirin can meaningfully react to his body's temporal discontinuity - which hurts like a bitch - police Tirins swarm the area
"COME OUT WITH YOUR HAND UP AND YOUR DICK AWAY! We don't need any distractions here, even if you can only jerk off one of us at a time."
Tirin is arrested for Tirinnapping.
THE END!"Hey Tirin, nice Tirinny you got going on here. Down to fuck?"
"No."
"... Why?"
"Do I look like the kind of Tirin that just fucks any old washed up loser Tirin that shows up on my temporal door?"
"You realize we're all the same, right?"
"Bitch, get out of my time."
Tirin from 3 years back (but 2 years forward from Tirin because Tirin is 5 years forward) pops out of a time portal behind Tirin.
"Hey Tirin, nice Tirinny you got going on-"
"No."
"Hey, Tirin from 2 years forward, down to fuck?"
"I'm from 3 years back."
"Yeah, but relative to my time-"
"You're 3 years forward right now."
"No I'm 5 years forward you ignorant jag."
The Tirins continue arguing for all eternity.
THE END!Tirin sex, as far as the eye can see, litters the landscape of this barren time. Tirin went back to before even he existed, so that no non-Tirins could possibly crash the party.
Oh hey, it's Tirin's favorite Tirin over there.
[[Tirin should focus on the plan]]
[[Tirin should just go for that Tirin]]"No, right. Fuck //all the Tirins//."
Tirin conjures up the largest, most powerful time beacon to signal all the other Tirins that indeed, now is the time for their greatest orgy.
A giant, teal dick is erected from the ground, ejaculating "Suck my dick, jags." for all the Tirins to hear. The absent Tirins, infinitely many, begin pouring into the orgy as Tirin jumps into the fray.
After all the Tirins arrive, Tirin notices two Tirins //not going at it// and trying to //leave with two more Tirins//.
[[Unacceptable]]
[[Meh, infinite Tirins minus four Tirins is still infinite Tirins]]"Oh my god that Tirin's abs... His biceps... Reminds me of... Wait, that's not a Tirin!"
"Hey you Czech son of a bitch, get off that dick and get on mine!"
Tirin and Easy begin their usual lovers' quarrel, but now with no one to stop them from the make up sex it was always about.
THE END!"HEY! YOU NOT-FUCKERS GET BACK HERE!"
Tirin begins chasing Tirin, Tirin, Tirin, and Tirin.
"This is making me sweat."
"I'll make you sweat, sexy."
"Oh I'll make YOU do more than sweat..."
Tirin, Tirin, Tirin, Tirin, and Tirin get distracted by their overwhelming sexual attractiveness and resume their orgy.
THE END!Tirin continues enjoying the biggest, greatest Tirin orgy of all time.
THE END!"No, we're Tirins and no one else is important. Tirins look out for themselves."
"You're right, let's get out here."
Tirin and Tirin attempt to leave the time, but get slingshotted back to the orgy.
"Oh man, it's happening already."
"Too many Tirins have traveled to this same span of time - we're collapsing into a temporal singularity."
"Shit, I don't know what time it is now, but if we can't escape there are already too many Tirins to fix this."
Tirin and Tirin accept their fate and join the orgy as all hope of ever leaving the orgy vanishes. The orgy becomes their past, present, and future. Only a few Tirins remain beyond the orgy, with their power now relatively unchecked in this power vacuum.
...
The end?"We have to make it flaccid and you know there's only one thing that can really, truly finish our dick."
"No... We can't."
"It's okay, no one else has to know."
Tirin reaches through time and grabs Easy by the dick.
//Come, it's time...//
"Get off my dick, I'm busy arguing with you for being Dunsparce tier stupid."
//That is precisely why it is time.//
Tirin pulls Easy by the dick through time to the orgy.
"Easy, we have to consummate our love, here and now. We... Have to get that giant, magnificent, beautiful, rock hard, teal dick off."
"Rock hard you say? WELL THIS BAMFIN' FREE ROLLER HAS SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S ROCK HARD!"
Easy leaps up to the tip of the giant teal dick and begins furiously stroking it between his guns. Within just ten seconds a great burst of thick, cyan liquid shoots out of it - then again - and again - until the dick flops over.
"Tirin, you... Actually ejaculate cyan?"
"Shut up, jag."
With the excessive Tirins no longer flowing in, the orgy is free to continue. But now, with Tirin's one true love in the mix.
THE END!You are 100% correct, what should Coolpool do?
[[That's CUTIEPOOL dammit.]]
[[Make a CYOA]]
[[Something cute!]]Okay... What should //Cutiepool// do?
[[Bitch what you got against Cutiepool?]]Aww, that's cute. But what kind of CYOA should he make?
[[A cute one]]
[[Something the Original Gangster would make]]
[[I don't know..]]Coolpool does literally anything and the entire forum swoons.
"I'm not cute!"
"AWWWWW"
THE END!Nu-nothing! I just wanted to emphasize that I said it right!
[[Who did you vote for in the election?]]Heh, I don't really thi-
[[WHO??]]My first choice was TeeSee, okay!
[[And your second...]]Oh, uh, my bad, TeeSee was my second choice. Cutiepool was my first, haha. Yeah, I messed up.
[[Well good thing you'll never mess up again...]]Uh, yeah, I sure won't! Wait, WHAT? What are you doing? NO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! NO! NOOOO-Oh yes, I've got it! It's perfect, the most adorable thing! With anime girls! And Cutiepool! Oh wait, actually, I have another idea...
[[Oh boy, I bet it's even better->Make a CYOA]]So there's this flyest dopest pimp on the block, Cutiepool, and... Wait, I have another idea!
[[Oh boy, I bet it's even better->Make a CYOA]]Well, guess Coolpool won't be making a CYOA today.
THE END!