Jay thought for a moment. "...Was it something to do with fighting games?"\n\nJohn nodded vigorously. "Of course! We're at da beech! Specifically to get tuurnt up! How could we have forgotten?"\n\n"We were distracted by the finer things in life, my friend." Jay finished his whiskey and carefully threw the empty tumbler into the sea. \n\n"Fuck seagulls and whales and dolphins,' thought Jay. 'They can't appreciate cashmere cardigans or anything.'\n\n"We should get back. The tournament is going to start soon, and I need to get dressed." John spiked his empty tumbler off the skull of a nearby, tartan-less seal. "I can't play seriously unless I'm properly attired."\n\n"Agreed. It's the secret to high level play. Just ask Ricky Ortiz." The two casually strolled back towards the hotel, hand-in-hand. \n\nTHE END.
A seabird cried somewhere in the distance. \n\n"Do you know what I like best about menswear, Jay?" asked John. \n\n"No, please tell me", said Jay. He rolled his sip of whiskey around his mouth, appreciating the peaty boldness before swallowing.\n\n"Basically all of it. Especialy these sweet tartan socks." John lifted his foot out of the surf to admire the boldness of the pattern and the way the water and sand combined to accentuate the colors. Jay whistled appreciately. \n\n"Those socks are dynamite, John. Ten out of ten. I would describe them as 'TUURNT UP', you know?"\n\n[[Think about whiskey|whiskey]]\n\n[[Consider the plebes|plebes]]\n\n
The two menswear heroes sipped their singe malt simultaneously and lowered their heads in appreciation.\n\n"If tartan socks were a beverage, they would be a good single malt whiskey", decalred Jay, taking the time to appreciate the overtones of grain and smoke. \n\nJohn was overawed. "Jay, I knew you loved menswear but I had no idea you were a philosopher, too!"\n\nJay nodded sagely. "I have hidden depths. Everyone knows this about me."\n\n"You can tell by how interesting your tight pants are" added John.\n\n[[Think seriously about menswear|menswear]]\n\n[[Consider the plebes|plebes]]\n\n
"It's a real shame about the people who don't understand these things", opined John. He gratefully accepted a tumbler of fine whiskey from Jay and took a moment to admire it's deep amber woodsiness and smoky scent. "I wish there was something we could do for them."\n\nJay nodded seriously and sighed deeply. "Something more than tweeting about it, for reals."\n\n"Fuck Twitter", snarled John. He was so upset that he forgot to think about his whiskey's rich peaty aroma.\n\n"Calm yourself, my friend." Jay carefully adjusted the lapels of his beach-wandering jacket, making sure that no tweed appeared out of place amongst it's fellows. "It's a perfect day for many things, but clearly we should be drinking whiskey and thinking about fine menswear."\n\n"Wonderful idea, Jay!" enthused John. He stared into the distance and thought for a moment. \n\n"Wait. Aren't we supposed to be doing something here? Other than appreciating menswear and fine single malt whiskey?"\n\n[[Continue to think about single malt whiskey|whiskey2]]\n\n[[Think hard about da beech|PassageFive]]
It was a warm tropical morning at da beech. Green blue water stretched out beyond the horizon, dazzling the eyes and soothing the mind. The fine sand was the perfect temperature. It was warmed by the rays of a cheerful tropical sun, but wasn't so warm as to require the removal of one's tartan socks. The gentle sound of breaking waves was omnipresent. Whiskey was also omnipresent. John and Jay had seen to that.\n\n"It's a fine morning, Jay." John stroked his tartan suspenders and thought seriously about menswear, eyes narrowed as he stared out over the sea. \n\n"I agree, John." Jay nodded seriously and sipped his Glenfiddich somberly. "It's the perfect morning for tartan socks."\n\n"Truly. If only the rest of the world understood, Jay."\n\n"I agree. It's very important."\n \n[[Think seriously about menswear|menswear]]\n\n[[Think seriously about single malt whiskey|whiskey]]\n\n\n\n\n
"We in this land of freedom fight for love, and for what is right, and for justice and for truth, and we do so in the knowledge that we have tartan socks and are therefore blessed by God."\n\n- Thomas Jefferson\n\n[img[http://www.wildlifetourism.org.au/wp-content/uploads/lace-monitor-on-beach-400-x-600.jpg]]\n\n[[Enter da beech, Tartan Socks on feet|PassageOne]]\n\n\n
Tartan Socks with eSports Jocks\n\n\n
"You know what I think about whiskey?" asked Jay, staring soulfully into his smokey, peaty grain alcohol. "It's like the tartan socks of..."\n\n"We've been here before, Jay," advised John. "Quit being so pedestrian."\n\n"You're right, John. It's our duty to become anti-pedestrians; the guardians of menswear and whiskey."\n\n"We should think about why we're here. It has something to do with those bulky devices we brought with us."\n\nJay raised his eyebrows and struck the soulful pose of a poet. He did this because he really enjoyed whiskey, but he also thought that the way he turned his ankles showed off his socks to good effect. 'People who look at my socks right now will understand me better', thought Jay. 'It's important.'\n\nHe turned his attention back to his friend. "You're right! The things with buttons and the protruberance on top!"\n\nJohn flexed his muscles and stroked his suspenders. "They really are hard to accessorize, aren't they?"\n\n"Just get a tartan bag", advised Jay.\n\n[[Think about the meaning of "da beech"|PassageFive]]
Geoff "G-Boobie" VDL