You stumble out of the bedroom. You don't even know whose it is and the party is still going full steam ahead.
You are still in complete shock about what just happened. You only had one drink. He was your friend.
[[Where do you go from here...]]
You desperately need to get out of the house.You're terrified he is going to come back and attack you again. You do a quick search for your friends. You have a rule; You come together, You leave together, unless otherwise specified. It was supposed to protect you...what a joke. Grrr... you can't find them anywhere. You have to get out of here...You bolt from the house and don't slow down until you get home. Once you get there you rush to the bathroom. The second you close the door you burst into tears. You are unable to move. What do you even do first? After a long time your friends come home looking for you. They search the apartment looking for you.Once they figure out you are in the bathroom they bang on the door, angry that you went home by yourself. When you don't answer they start getting worried and ask you to open the door.
You...
[[The Telling of your tale.]]
[[Remain silent.What do you even say?]]
You let them in. They see your tear stained face and help you sit down on the closed toilet. They ask you what happened. You debate telling them, but you just don't want to deal with it alone. You tell them what happened...
You woke up in a strange bedroom at the party with your mutual guy friend on top of you. You screamed and begged him to stop. He ignored you and kept going until he finished.Then he just left.
Your friends have mixed reactions. One responds, "Oh my god! I can't believe he did that to you!Are you okay? What can I do?". Your other friend is closer to this guy friend and asks, "Are you sure you just weren't drunk and consented earlier?" Your friends end up fighting about this until your supportive friend kicks the other one out. She sits down next to you and asks if you want to report it.
You...
[[Reporting...]]
[[No Police]]
You stay silent and eventually they go away.You can't calm down. All of a sudden you had to get him off of you. You felt tainted, defiled and disgusting. You get into the shower and stay in there for over an hour trying to get his scent off of you. You can't get what happened out of your head. Did you consent? Why didn't he stop? You try to go to bed, but the incident plays back in your head every time you close your eyes.
You...
[[Telling your tale...]]
[[The Next morning...]]
You decide to go to the hospital and get a rape kit done. He isn't going to get away with this. The rape kit makes you feel violated all over again. You hate him for doing this to you. The doctors ask if you want to report it to the police and you say yes. When the police come you tell them what happened and who did it. They seem understanding and you thank god you are not going to school in the south. You have been taught a lot about today's rape culture and you know that victim blaming is more prevalent in the south. You know its not your fault because you were unconscious and you told him to stop. Still you are mad at yourself for letting it happen. Did you watch them make your drink? You can't remember. Everything is done for now and you finally get to go home. You can't wait to get the sickening smell of his scent off of you and be safe in your own bed.
[[The next morning.]]
You don't want to report it to the police. Then everyone would end up knowing he defiled you and you could get blamed. You decide that this isn't going to turn your world upside down. You take a shower to clean him off of you and go to bed. Images of the incident spring back into your mind,as soon as you close your eyes. This isn't going to be as easy as you think. You take some Nyquil to go to sleep. A night's rest will help you think.
[[The Aftermath...]]
You go and knock on your apartmentmates door. She says, "Come in" and you find both of them there. You tell them that something happened at the party and thats why you left them. They ask you what happened and you explain,
"You woke up in a strange bedroom at the party with your mutual guy friend on top of you. You screamed and begged him to stop. He ignored you and kept going until he finished.Then he just left."
Your friends have mixed reactions. One responds, "Oh my god! I can't believe he did that to you!Are you okay? What can I do?". Your other friend is closer to this guy friend and asks, "Are you sure you just weren't drunk and consented earlier?" Your friends end up fighting about this until your supportive friend kicks the other one out. She asks if you want to report it, but you explain that you have already showered. If you report it now it will be he said, she said, and no one will believe it. She asks you what you want to do and how she can help. Your thoughts are so muddled and you tell her you really don't know what to do.
You...
[[Counseling]]
[[Try to just forget->The Daily Routine]]
You wake up and for a moment you don't remember and its nice. Then it all comes rushing back to you. You still feel his hands on your body and him in you. You still don't know what to do. You don't want anyone to know. What if they don't believe you? What if they blame you?
You get angry at yourself and him. It wasn't your fault. He didn't have consent and he ignored you when you said no. There is the possibility that your friends will believe you. You can get through this.
You...
[[decide to tell your friend->Telling your tale...]]
[[The Daily Routine]]
You wake up the next morning terrified. You reported it. There might be a trial. Everyone will know what happened to you. You know you did the right thing, but you don't know how you are going to move on from this.
You...
[[Decide to get some professional help->Counseling]]
You wake up the next day and you are still happy with your decision not to report what happened. You didn't want all your business everywhere. So now you have two options:
[[Get professional help. You want to move on->Counseling]]
[[Daily Life]]
You decide you are just going to live your life like it never happened. You go about your routine and it just following the routine helps for a little while. You still can't sleep for fear of flashbacks, and you keep being forced into situations where you see your attacker. After awhile you can't keep up your routine. Every time you see your attacker your mind is flooded with both anger and fright. You start staying in more and more avoiding him and soon everyone else.
You realize that you are starting to fall into a depression so you...:
[[Decide to get help->Counseling]]
[[Trapped]]
You decide that you need a professional to help you with the aftermath of the incident and you make an appointment with a therapist the next day.
[[My first therapy appointment]]
You go to your first therapy appointment. You go early. You are anxious about telling someone you don't know about what happened. They could not believe you. You go in and tell your story. The therapist tells you that it was not your fault. Just hearing that helps. The therapist says it will take a lot to work to get through this and you know it must be true. You know that you aren't in a good place, but you have hope that eventually you will be. This is not the end of you and you decide right then it will not takeover your life.
You become more and more isolated and depressed. Your friends and family are noticing and keep checking to see if you are okay. You are miserable.
You...
[[I can't tell you.]]
[[Lies don't help people.]]
You tell them that you are depressed and miserable. They ask if something happened because you never seemed to feel like this before. You say yes, but I really can't talk about it. They say that you don't have to tell them, but maybe you should get a professional to talk to. You can't deal with the depression any longers so you...
[[Get some professional help ->Counseling]]
Your depression gets worse and you decide that you just can't take it anymore.
[[The End]]
You take an entire bottle of prescription medication you found in the medicine cabinet. Your friends find you on the floor of the bathroom unconscious with the bottle beside you. They call an ambulance. You were saved. The doctors put you on a psychiatric hold and on suicide watch. In the end you get the help you need. In the end, you survive.
You go about your life. Eventually you stop thinking about the incident.You avoid him. You keep your support system close. Graduation comes and you are okay. You still are more cautious with others and slow to trust, but you are going to be okay.