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You're dead.
[[Start|Intro]]You feel a tap on your shoulder and open your eyes.
It's darker than you ever knew it could be. You're confused. The last thing you remember is crossing the street.
You hear fingers snap and then suddenly you're surrounded by flames.
From behind you, you hear "Hello, my son. Are you ready to serve me?"
[[Turn Around]]You see a cloaked figure. He begins to chuckle.
You recognize the voice.
[[Are you the guy from Mission Impossible?!]]
[[Oh shit. YOURE THE GUY FROM COCKTAIL!]]
[[Tom Cruise, is that you?]]In a graceful and swift singular move, the figure does a back flip and removes his cloak. It IS the guy from Mission Impossible. You just saw known Scientologist Tom Cruise do a fucking back flip.
Well known Scientologist Tom Cruise looks at you and without saying anything you immediately know what's happening. You're in hell and known Scientologist Tom Cruise is running the show.
[[gasp]]Watching all those movies finally paid off. You immediately recognized Tom. He pulls off the cloak and gives you a knowing nod.
Without saying anything you immediately connect the dots. You're in hell and known Scientologist Tom Cruise is running the show.
[[gasp]]The figure lifts his cloak and reveals that he's holding a Whiskey Sour. And of course from your many viewings of Cocktail, you know that that's the main character's favorite drink.
You've gone full Sherlock. You know who this is. Before you can say anything, the figure removes his cloak, reveals his identity, and you connect the dots.
You're in hell and known Scientologist Tom fucking Cruise is running the show.
[[gasp]]You're not sure if you should be scared or relieved.
Known Scientologist Tom Cruise repeats his question.
"Hello, my son. Are you ready to serve me?"
You respond:
[[Yessir]]
[[Wait. What's going on?]]Known Scientologist Tom Cruise is pleased with your obedience.
He pulls a scroll out of his back pocket. You take it.
[[Open and Read]]Known Scientologist Tom Cruise nods in disapproval.
He repeats his questions.
"Hello, my son. Are you ready to serve me?"
[[Yes, Mr. Cruise.]]
[[(sigh) Sure, Tom.]]
[[WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!]]You unroll the script.
You begin to read. You immediately notice words and phrases like "Xenu," "Church of Scientology," "save humanity," "L. Ron Hubbard," "Galactic Confederacy," "lizard people," etc.
You look up and respond:
[[All hail the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, Xenu. Our prophet L. Ron Hubbard and the Chruch of Scientology will save humanity.]]
[[What's Xenu?]]
[[Tom, Scientology isn't real...]]Known Scientologist Tom Cruise:
"Great. Xenu will be pleased.
[[What's Xenu?]]
[[Tom, Scientology isn't real...]]
[[All hail the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, Xenu. Our prophet L. Ron Hubbard and the Chruch of Scientology will save humanity.]]Known Scientologist Tom Cruise nods in disapproval.
"You mock me, but Xenu will punish you for you insolence."
[[What's Xenu?]]
[[Tom, Scientology isn't real...]]You're heated, but known Scientologist Tom Cruise remains cool.
Of course he's not phased by you. He's the world's biggest action star.
He gives you another disapproving nod and says:
"Xenu will punish you for your insolence."
[[What's Xenu?]]
[[Tom, Scientology isn't real...]]Known Scientologist Tom Cruise is disappointed by your ignorance.
"You will learn. You will bow down. You will HAIL Xenu."
[[Never.|NO]]
[[Suck it, Tom.|NO]]
[[I am so sorry, Mr. Cruise. I take everything back. ALL HAIL XENU!|All hail the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, Xenu. Our prophet L. Ron Hubbard and the Chruch of Scientology will save humanity.]]
Known Scientologist Tom Cruise is disappointed by your ignorance.
"You will bow down to me and the teachings of L. Ron."
[[Never.|NO]]
[[Suck it, Tom.|NO]]
[[I am so sorry, Mr. Cruise. I take everything back. ALL HAIL XENU!|All hail the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, Xenu. Our prophet L. Ron Hubbard and the Chruch of Scientology will save humanity.]]Known Scientologist Tom Cruise is taken aback by your confidence and immediate loyalty to L. Ron's teachings.
[[I am ready to serve you, Mr. Cruise.|YES]]
[[Where shall we begin, Mr. Cruise?|YES]]"You will work for me. You will follow my every command. The work I am doing within Hollywood and within Scientology will change the world forever. We will be a part of a greater cause.
I will reincarnate you back to Earth and you will serve myself the chruch.
What would you like to be reincarnated as?"
[[A bartender.|Yes 2]]
[[A film producer.|Yes 2]]
[[A pilot.|Yes 2]]You see sweat begin to drip down known Scientologist Tom Cruise's forehead.
You see all his confidence begin to dissipate. You're getting to him.
The tables have turned. You're now drunk with confidence.
[[Rush him and hope for the best.]]
[[Verbally abuse him.]]In a total act of desperation you rush known Scientologist Tom Cruise and tackle him to the ground.
As you land on top of him, you immediately see the humanity in him as he begins to weep and beg for forgiveness.
You stand up and:
[[Kick him|Hit]]
[[Spit on him|Hit]]
[[Start looking for a way out|OUT]]You say:
[[I bet you don't even do your own stunts, you talentless hack.|Words]]
[[You should've gotten the death penalty for doing Cocktail.|Words]]
[[I wish I could leave you, just like Katie Holmes did.|Words]]
[[The Mummy Reboot you're in literally has a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes.|Words]]"Excellent choice. A great way to serve our cause."
Tom pulls out a small vial from his pocket. He hands it to you.
[[Take and drink.]]You immediately feel yourself becoming drowsy.
You fall asleep.
[[Try to wake up.]]Nothing.
[[Try again.]]Nothing.
[[Try harder.]]You blink.
You're awake.
You're in a dull, yet expensive looking office cubicle.
You look down. You see a welcome letter. You begin to read.
"Welcome to the Church of Scientology..."
This is your life now.
[[Look out the Window.]]This is forever now.
<img src="https://giovannimarcotullio.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/scientology.jpg?w=1200" />Double-click this passage to edit it.You look around. You see a small flameless section behind where Tom was standing.
You're out of the flame circle now.
You see a small beam of light from the distance.
[[Run towards it]]And just like that, known Scientologist Tom Cruise begins to weep. He falls to his knees and begs for forgiveness.
You did it. You're in control now.
[[Find a way out.|OUT]]
[[Mock him.|Mock]]You look known Scientologist Tom Cruise in the eyes and remind him of his mortality by bringing up that he's 55 years old.
Also you mention how short he is (5'7).
[[Find a way out.|OUT]]You run towards the light and before you know it you've burst through a door and you're out in the daylight.
You realize you were just on a sound stage on the Paramount lot.
You look around. You're surrounded by Scientologists.
It's over. They've got you surrounded.