Reynad Simulator

Welcome to Reynad Simulator 2015. This game's goal is to showcase the true struggle of the life of Reynad. It even has some RNG of its own. [[Begin Simulation ->What should you do today?]]

What are you gonna do today? [[Stream -> What Game?]] [[Sleep -> Slept]]

What Game should you start the stream off with? [[Hearthstone -> HearthStart]] [[CS:GO -> CS_Start]] [[Tinder -> Tinder_Start]] [[Game of Thrones -> GoT Start]] [[Hots -> HotStart]] [[Dota 2 -> Dota Start]]

You decide to sleep for the entire day [[The next day ->What should you do today?]]

You start playing Hearthstone. What should you do? [[The new Tavern Brawl -> Brawl Start]] [[Ranked -> Ranked Start]] [[Arena -> Arena Start]] [[Preemptively salt out, choose a different game to stream -> What Game?]]

You load into comp. ''BOOM HEADSHOT'' You get 15 aces in a row **BOOM BODYSHOT** There's only one guy left <u>BOOM LEGSHOT<u> [[u die to a pro90 git rekt scrub haaaaaaaaah fuck youuuuuu -> Game Over]]

You start playing Tinder. How are your standereds today? [[High -> high]] [[Low -> medium]]

After saying no to 100s of women including Bridget's twin sister You come across 'Mirolise', a straight up 11 Russo-Chinese girl. Which way do you swipe? [[Left -> left]] [[Right -> right]]

They're all fatties Reynad. All of them. [[Only one of them matches with you ->Reynad's low standerds]]

You Swiped the most attractive girl you've ever seen left. What could have possibly led you to do this Reynad? [[You never find love again -> Game Over]]

Omygod she also swiped you right, don't mess this up dude. How do you start your conversation? [[Mention your stream -> Mention Stream to Miramy]] [[She messaged you! -> Miramy messaged reynad]]

For whatever reason you decide to tell Miramy that you're playing hearthstone while streaming to over 20,000 rabid 12 year old fangays. She responds, "Hey Andrey! That's pretty cool, my brother plays a lot of hearthstone. He always talks about how much he loves Reynoodle, is that some card or something?" You say, "Wait what, I think he's talking about my stream." "No way, he's donated like $5000 to you. Our dad always tells him, Chinese Doto, you can't be the best doto if you keep giving money to a fucking scrublord who plays childrens card games" After 5 hours of attemping to formulate a response you finally decide on something. But discover that Miramy unmatched you, probably not to shame herself anymore. You decide to live a life of [[KappaPride]].

Reynad's body was found by the Merlini police, he ate the contents of an entire pepper shaker. His Hearhstone collection was found to be entirely dusted, except for 54,000 copies of the card "Salty Dog." He will only be rememberd in Twitch Chat. --- ==> [[Game Over ->What should you do today?]] <== <audio src="http://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/dota2.gamepedia.com/f/f7/Dlc_stanleyparable_announcer_ally_neg_01.mp3" autoplay>

You start playing the new Tavern Brawl. The rules are simple. You can only use soulbound cards, unless you pay $5 per common, $10 per rare, $25 per epic or $100 per legendary. The prize for winning is a random chance to get a single golden common or 100 dust. [[Lets Trump mode this bitch (Free to play) -> F2P Brawl]] [[Who cares about Value, I got a 900% ROI on those Jereseys -> P2P Brawl]] [[This is too stressful, I'm gonna play a different mode -> Hearthstart again]]

You decide to enter the brawl with the basic mage deck. Immediatly you run into a Druid who double innervate coins out Dr. Boom on turn two. Do you give up yet? [[Yes -> give up brawl]] [[No -> Keep going F2P brawl]]

You decide to enter the brawl with a patron warrior deck. Unfortunatly you immediatly run into a druid who who double innervate coins out Dr. Boom on turn two. Your executes are on the bottom of your deck. Do you give up? [[Yes -> give up brawl]] [[No -> keep going P2P brawl]]

Go back to the main menu of Hearthstone. What should you do? [[The new Tavern Brawl -> Brawl Start]] [[Ranked -> Ranked Start]] [[Arena -> Arena Start]] [[Decide to play a different game -> What Game?]]

What deck do you want to play in ranked? [[Something good -> Patron Warrior]] [[Something fun -> Pirates]]

You already have a deck drafted at 8-2. It's a mage deck with 6 flamestrikes. Do you [[Keep it -> Keep mage deck]] or [[start a new draft -> new draft]]

You gave up on doing the tavern brawl [[Go back to the main menu -> Hearthstart again]]

Your enemy plays Dr. Boom on turn one using ` I$$ervte`. A brawl specific card which lets you pay for extra man with real money! You go into cardiac arrest

After remaking all of your normal decks for the brawl you get a call from Frodan. "REYNAD, WE'RE BROKE IT'S OVER." What do you say, [["Fuck off fro, this is my company I can do what I fucking want" -> Game Over]] [["I don't know what came over me...I just had to spend my money on this children's card game. Help... me.... -> Game Over]]

Your first opponent is a warlock. After you mulligan your full hand of 3 flamestrikes you get 3 flamestrikes, and immediatly draw Your opponent coins out mechwarper double clockwork gnome. You draw a pyroblast and decide to destroy one of the gnomes. He plays harvest golem. Do you [[concede -> concede mage arena]] yet? Or [[keep going -> mage arena turn 3]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

You went 8-3. Your reward is 300 dust, 149 gold, a golden anima golem and one [[grand tournament pack -> GTpack]].

You draw a deathwing and [[concede -> concede mage arena]]

Isn't this supposed to start in like a month? Wait WTF, my OC DO NOT STEAL pokemon card dialga,palkia'giratina used roar of distortion space <img src="http://i.imgur.com/sdSUB4N.jpg" width="373" height="521" alt="Two foxes"> Your 4head becomes a 16head, than a 256 head. Eventually it becomes larger than the observable universehead. All thanks to the space-time distortion of a pack of future Hearthstone cards. [[You die -> Game Over]]

Make a choice [[Nice diplomatic guy -> git fuked]] [[Nice warrior guy -> git fuked]]

Just by setting your stream game to HoTS 100k people automatically unfollow you. [[You never recover. -> Game Over]]

(either: "Новичок, вернуться к [[лиге -> lolstart]]. Это дота, мы не хотим, скраб из камня возвращения.","Foda-se você estúpido jesus cadela Eu não posso acreditar o quão ruim você está neste jogo. Volte para [[lol -> lolstart]].")

Hello, welcome to Riot's League of Peasents. The greatest game ever. [[You get cancer. -> Game Over]]

YOU'RE FUCKED. WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE THAT??!! JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE BAD AT THIS GAME [[Everyone dies because of the horrible and uncontrived choice you just made. -> Game Over]] <img src="http://i.imgur.com/YmVoQCn.png" width="1000" height="155" alt="Two foxes">

"Can I set on your 4Head? Or are you too KappaPride?" You get an 8.6 inch from the base boner. A hot girl on tinder? Who knows twitch memes? This is what we was born to do. What do you say? [["Ayy lmao grill. Of course you can sit on my 4Head while I EvilFetus your tbSausageBiscuit with my BloodTrail" -> respond to Miramy with memes]] [["I like to keep twitch on twitch" -> Miramy unmatches]]

"OMG YOU'RE REYNAD. I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION BY STANDING IN THE STAIRS WHENEVER YOU LEAVE THE ROOM BECAUSE I'M SO SOCIALLY AWKWARD. CHAT ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT ME, BUT YOU KEEP IGNORING ME" [[Respond -> I can't let you do that]] [[Unmatch -> Unmatch]]

You unmatch with your stalker. This just makes her more insane. She works up the courage to walk down the stairs while you're sitting in the chair. [[One day she brings a knife -> Game Over]]

I'm sorry reynad, but I can't let you do that. Your phone [[Unmatches -> Unmatch]] her for you.

"My phone number is 322-420-6969. Call me." Congratulations, [[you win -> win!]]

The most attractive girl you've ever seen just unmatched you. [[You die alone -> Game Over]], no matter how many other twitch grills try they can never compare to her.

<img src="http://i.minus.com/ipU4lHEQ6THMw.gif" width="475" height="283" alt="Two foxes"> Congrats Reynad! You finally get some sex and win the game! Unfortunatly you get banned from twitch and become completly dependent on your wife's huge fortune.

You decide to play patron warrior. Today is the start of a new season, and you're rank 15. You manage to get to rank 52 legend in just under 17 minutes. /r/Hearthstone becomes entirely filled with your fangays. Amaz commits sudoku. No one plays anything but patron warrior. Blizzard removes all classes but warrior and gives everyone patron for free. Hearthstone is renamed to Patronstone. Not only did you invent hearthstone, you've now [[ended it -> Game Over]].

It's the start of a new season and you decide to play Pirates, have a little fun y'know. Unfortunatly you only run into people playing the origional zoo deck, from mtg. Tarmogoyfs and all. You bend to its incredible strength. "Tempostorm, [[become rank 20. -> Game Over]]"