You go to the search bar and look up a fancy recipe. Delighted, you see that a recipe of sufficient swank can be made using ingredients you already have in the kitchen! <<set $found_recipe = "yes">> [[What are you waiting for|Kitchen]]?

You run to the living room. <<set $found_charger = "yes">>\n\n<<if $found_ipad eq "yes">>There, plugged into the wall by your futon! Your iPad charger. Gleefully, almost madly, you plug your iPad in. Your eyes fill with joyful tears at the sight of your lockscreen. Time to [[find a good recipe for your hot date|Search]]. However, your email app is beckoning to you with the promise of 3 unread emails. You're sure you could [[check your email quickly without losing too much time|Email]]. What do you do?<<else>>You scan the room for some kind of help. All you see is your dilapidated futon, diminutive "dining nook" table and your dusty TV. The charger for your iPad is plugged into the wall, but you lost your iPad long ago to the harrowing darkness that is the mess in your room. You could always [[try to look for it|Bedroom]]. But you don't have much time! Perhaps you should [[try to throw together some passable meal out of your fridge and hope for the best|Kitchen]].<<endif>>

Dinner Time

You open the Groupon code and look at the deals. Excited, you see that there is a dinner-for-two deal going on right now that includes free bread! All for only twenty dollars. All within the palm of your hand. You could [[get it delivered before your significant other arrived, then set it up to look like you made it|Order]]. Your significant other would never know! But would it be right to lie? Maybe you should [[search for a recipe|Search]] after all.

You open the fridge. Inside is a regrettable menagerie of half-eaten pizza, Thai food, and Oscar Meyer lunchmeat packets. Is anything here salvageable? You halfheartedly attempt to form some sort of casserole from the pizza and some strangely solid bread. It's off-putting at best. You look at the time. Your significant other will be here any minute. With a heavy heart, you put the casserole in the oven.\n\nYour significant other arrives to see you in your "dining nook", putting the finishing touches on your cooked casserole (you're garnishing it with some sort of beer). "Is that dinner?" your significant other asks. You nod. Your significant other turns and walks out of your apartment without a word. You try to chase after your significant other, but it's too late. Your significant other is gone.\n\nYou get back home and attempt to eat a bite of your casserole, dejected. It tastes like sadness.

You crawl through the discarded clothing items and soda cans on your floor and pull yourself under the bed. You close your eyes. You're safe now. You feel like a child again, nestled in the comforting darkness, breathing in the dust and the upholstery of your box-spring. She'll never find you. With a smile on your face, you drift off into sleep.\n\nYou are roused from your slumber by someone dragging you violently out from under the bed. Your significant other. You left the door unlocked. You're covered in dustbunnies like a cocoon. You try to explain yourself, but to no avail. Your significant other tearfully reprimands you, then runs out of your room. You chase after your significant other, shouting your significant other's name, but it's too late. Your significant other is gone.

You decide to order the food. The delivery arrives on time; you throw the bags in the trash and throw the food in the fridge. Perfect.\n\nAs the time of your significant other's arrival draws near, you heat the food up in the microwave and set the table. The food is now looking a bit off in places, but you decide not to worry about it. You're in too deep. Your significant other arrives. Dinner goes perfectly; your significant other is completely wowed. \n\nAfter dinner, the two of you lounge on your futon. "Dinner was great!" your significant other says. You grin and thank her. You feel terrible for lying, but you can live with the lie. After all, your significant other is happy, right? Your significant other laughs and says, "You'll have to make this for my parents when they visit next week!"\n\nThe color drains from your face. What have you done?

Here's the situation. Your significant other is coming over. For some reason, you volunteered to make dinner instead of going out, like you normally do. You can't cook. You don't know what came over you. Jokingly, your significant other said, "Don't worry, if dinner's terrible, I'll just break up with you." But was she really joking? You're floundering. What will you do? Part of you really wants to [[run to your bedroom and hide under the bed|Bedroom]]. You also feel compelled to [[ransack the kitchen for any salvageable trace of a good meal|Kitchen]]. Your significant other will be here in 2 hours. What do you do?

You begin to clean your room, starting with the alarming number of clothing items scattered under you. As you throw the last of the clothing pile into your hamper, a small black square reveals itself on the floor. Your iPad! You know you could use this to find a good recipe online and save your ill-fated dinner. Gleefully, you attempt to turn it on, only to find that the battery is dead. <<set $found_ipad = "yes">>\n\n<<if $found_charger eq "yes">>Luckily, you found your charger in the living room! You run back to the living room and plug your iPad in. Your eyes fill with joyful tears at the sight of your lockscreen. Time to [[find a good recipe for your hot date|Search]]. However, your email app is beckoning to you with the promise of 3 unread emails. You're sure you could [[check your email quickly without losing too much time|Email]]. What do you do?<<else>>Where is your charger? You scour the room for it but you can't find it. It could be anywhere in your apartment--[[the living room|Living Room]], [[the kitchen|Kitchen]]... maybe you should just give up and [[crawl under your bed|Bed]]!<<endif>>

You race into your bedroom, feeling nauseous. It's a pig-sty. There's the bed, in all its glory. Part of you wants so badly to just [[dive under the bed and hide from the entire world, forever|Bed]]. You are also gripped by the sudden desire to [[clean your room|Clean]], the kind of desire to do something productive that only comes to you while you're procrastinating. Or maybe you should just [[run back into the living room|Living Room]].

Dan DeMarco

You open your email app to see nothing but two Facebook notifications and a Groupon code for a swanky restaurant out of town. This is a waste of time; you should close out your email and [[search for a recipe|Search]]!\n\nHowever, the Groupon code plants an idea in your mind. Why cook something when you can pay someone else to cook it for you? Perhaps you should [[investigate the Groupon code further|Coupon]]...

<<if $found_recipe eq "yes">>You enter the kitchen triumphantly. Following the recipe to a T, you manage to cook a delicious meal for your significant other and you to share. Your significant other arrives and dinner is flawless. Your significant other's hair is thoroughly blown back by your culinary prowess.\n\nAfter dinner, the two of you lounge on your futon. "Dinner was great!" your significant other says. You grin and thank her. All is well; you've managed to impress your significant other as well as proving to yourself how resilient, resourceful, and, well, desirable you really are. Your self-esteem has been given quite the boost, let's say. Your significant other laughs and says, "You'll have to make this for my parents when they visit next week!"\n\nThe color drains from your face. "We'll see," you say.<<else>>You enter the kitchen with trepidation. The fridge looms toward you, full of questionable lunchmeat and takeout leftovers. Should you [[try to piece together something from the fridge|Fridge]]? Or maybe you could [[search for inspiration in the living room|Living Room]]? Or should you call it quits and [[take refuge in your bedroom|Bedroom]]?\n<<endif>>