"The shortest route was a detour; it was the detour that was our shortest path"

[["The shortest route was a detour; it was the detour that was our shortest path"]]

[[...]]

[[A Story of Love and Possibilities]]

[[Begin]]

[[Your name is Johnny Joestar]]

You are standing in the Atlantic Ocean, right off the coast of New Jersey. You're bleeding, and your fingernails are gone. You're waiting for them to grow back, and struggling to stay upright. [[Gyro is dead]]

Valentine stands facing you on the shoreline. He offers you a choice. Do you listen? [["yes"]] [["no"]]

He tells you his offer. Do you accept? [["Yes."]] [["No."]]

[[Understandable. So this is how it happens...]]

[[Do you hesitate, even for a moment?]]

[[he's gone and he won't come back.]] [[he's gone but he could come back...]]

[[Lesson Four]]

[[Lesson Two]]

[[Lesson One]]

That is to say, desire isn't a weakness. Gyro never thought of it that way. For no matter how hard you resented him at first - no matter how stubbornly you resisted your feelings - resisted //feeling// at all, denied the boldfaced truth of what was happening to your heart again [[(like how much you laughed, openly and bitterly, at him when he suggested you get rid of your bedroll and just share his)]]

seated at the dinner table holding Danny in your cupped hands, looking up at your father with wide and innocent eyes. You can see from the red in his face that he's been shouting, which he tends to do when he's drinking. Of course, you knew that already. You know exactly what has happened - he caught you feeding Danny under the table. He shouts at you to choose. [[You never were quite sure what you had to do to make him stop shouting.]]

And You wish Gyro was [[here.]]

That first time by the campfire he treated your body like a precious and holy relic. Which is to say he insisted on you getting inside him as quickly as possible. But still, it filled you with a sense of awe. [[And a few other feelings besides.]]

[[Lesson]]

Five Four Three Two [[One]]

At the end of the day the difference between a [[spiral]]

Just because a first night together seems, in retrospect, inevitable doesn't mean it wasn't surprising and wonderful when it finally happened. [[(just because a death is, in retrospect, inevitable, doesn't mean it can't destroy you.)]]

[[(upon hearing your laughter he claimed he was only asking because it would cut down the weight the horses had to carry and make them go faster. but you knew what he meant. and your heart leapt for a second, like you could see it suddenly exit your rib-cage and go back in.)]]

...for all that, he never held your initial scorn against you. Chances are good that meant he, in true Gyro fashion, felt secure in the assumption that you //eventually// would capitulate. [[that arrogant bastard]]

[["the muscle automatically knows to bend"]]

[[God, everything reminds you of him]]

[[a gaslight flickers]]

Wherever "here" is, anyway. [[Whenever]] you are, now.

You don't know what to do [[you don't know what to do without him]]

Will you [[kill]]

[[Of course. You loved him. Who wouldn't second guess themselves in this moment. Valentine preys on weakness, true, but that doesn't make this one.]]

[["Don't have any weird hopes in me"]]

The first thing to know is that your reaction is not what Valentine was assuming. He's caught completely off guard. This hurts more than you expected, in retrospect. [[when you think about what DD4C can do, when Valentine replaces himself again and again]]

[["Work on those Muscles.'']]

Danny Will you kill [[him]]

[[will you leave him to rot in the ocean]]

everybody dies will you let [[the world]] burn

will you see your [[father]] at the finish line

will you ever [[feel]], again,

[[like that night around the campfire]]

[[(you ran as far and as fast as you could. you couldn't escape it. he was always a step ahead.)]]

[[you never thought he'd be the one to die]]

"There is no way I can do this" "There is no way I can do this" "There is no way I can do this" [["There is no way I can do this"]]

His fate is in your hands [[So what do you choose?]]

[[and suddenly it cuts through the layers of memory and dream, as bright and hopeful as always]]

[[He was going to teach you a]]

[[and a black hole]]

and a door to another [[dimension]]

is a matter of semantics. Which is why you don't care that the body Valentine brings back isn't [[really]] Gyro

[[(that the body who sleeps next to you every night, who makes up songs that leave you rolling your eyes and barking with laughter)]]

the body that shoves away the newspaper every time you hold it out to him. Gyro - this Gyro and ''your'' Gyro, if there even is a difference - doesn't want to hear about what President Valentine is doing to the world after you both failed to stop him. (you're so grateful that this is what Gyro thinks happened, that he never learns of your moment of weakness. Never once thinks to put the blame on you. Never thinks of himself in horror, for which you are so very grateful.) [[there are little thing you notice though]]

[[you get very very good at ignoring them.]]

[[and in your mind you are a child again]]

One Two Three Four [[Five]]

It's ridiculous to blame yourself for this. The hope that the outcome could have been anything what it was, with Gyro dead and you still alive, is so obviously impossible, so glaringly //stupid// to torture yourself over. What were you going to do, hold Valentine at the point of your fingernails while he got you a brand new Gyro? He'd had never done that without you letting him get away. And even if he had, Valentine can't be trusted. Couldn't be trusted. The Gyro that came out of the loop - if he even did at all - wouldn't have been //yours//. He might not have known who you were. Might not have even liked you. Or even loved you. you'd have loved him, though. You know that as much as you know anything else, in the months afterwards. [[you wonder if this means you killed Gyro.]]

If you could only have brought Gyro back - [[even if it wasn't exactly him, if it could have just been close enough]]

does this mean you didn't love Gyro enough, loved him enough to at least hear Valentine out? Maybe the two of you could have beaten him together, and then rode off blissfully into the sunset. Beat //The World// together. Saved the world together. [[crossed the finish line together, used the money to buy a home far away from everything]]

could have lived together in Naples, even. Met his family. He'd have met your dad, already, at the finish line. [[he could drive you up the wall with his corny jokes and stupid songs.]]

you'd have gotten so sick of him, probably, eventually. you'd yell at him to shut up. he'd laugh at you. then you'd kiss and make up. you always did when camping during the race, at least. no reason to suspect it wouldn't have been the same after it ended. [[of course, now you'll never know.]]

and it's stupid, //you're so stupid, you idiot, how could you betray him like that? how could you just// - if Valentine had offered and you'd said no, that's one thing. Gyro would have understood. Or maybe he wouldn't have. He was annoying, terrible, baffling in so many ways [[wonderful, beautiful, loving in so many ways]]

Of course it's not like you don't ever find love again. You're as surprised as anyone when, at a dinner Norisuke throws to celebrate the 5th anniversary of the Run, you wind up talking with Rina until dawn. [[You recognized her from the boat you took back from Naples. Back from. You know what it was back from. Please, don't think about it. Please.]]

[[didn't sound like nyhohoho at all. why on earth did Gyro laugh like that. What a weirdo. You'll never know why now.]]

but it's not like you could have loved her without first loving Gyro. You're forever grateful to how he opened you up after you'd shut down, mentally and physically. He held up a mirror to you. Then took a sledgehammer to it. Typical. [[He gave you the first hope you'd had in years, when he went by on that horse, when your legs twitched. Honestly, you'd have followed him even if they hadn't. The ugly truth is that it was love at first sight. Idiot.]]

and he made you see that hope and call it by what it was! made you face that love, own up to it - made you admit to lust, showed you that you could still feel it, helped relieve it on more than one occasion, riding high on post battle adrenaline, the two of you mixing laughter with cries of passion and tears. If he was still here, you hope he'd understand who you became when you watched him die. [[so yeah, he taught you to love. so fucking what. he's gone.]]

Rina's alive. You marry, and have a child. The periods between being paralyzed by guilt and stuck in memories become, slowly, less and less. Eventually, happiness becomes the rule of the day, with comfort close behind. [[sometimes that makes you feel so sick with guilt you wish you could disappear.]]

You think a lot about Sugar Mountain, guardian of the tree. About how the only way you and Gyro could free yourselves was to get read of everything it gave you. You think about Hot Pants and her brother. You think about Lucy, almost eaten alive by the power inside her. There was a time, not so long ago, when you were selfish enough to forget those lessons. [[but that time ended once you put your faith in what Gyro could teach you.]]

[["Pay your respects"]]

Of course. You learned long ago the price of bringing Despite the wounds and the grief (still hovering outside of you, not yet settled into your gut to reach up [[and choke you every time something reminds you of him)]]

[["The flesh instinctively protects the body"]]

"...by wounding the muscle." You get so good at wounding your heart to protect yourself, to build up the calluses you need to survive your life now, knowing the weight of what you - //you alone// did. It was worth it, you tell yourself, lying next to him at night. [[It was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it.]]

It's a hell of a tightrope to walk, to keep yourself from going mad. But hey, [["That's nature for you."]]

The fucked up thing is that even //with all that//, god, you're so happy. You don't have a choice but to be. But you //are.// [[If it isn't happy, exactly, it's close enough. Close enough for you to sleep most nights without the guilt filled nightmares.]]

but sometimes the wound breaks open. sometimes the muscle can't take it anymore. it stretches and stretches until it snaps. and bleeds. which is why every so often you lie down to sleep [[and you begin to dream]]

The fact that it was an outdoor party didn't hurt. She was covered in bug bites. Irresistible. Enough for you to get over the lurch of pain accompanying her(and his) memory, enough to ask her to take a walk with you, to show you Norisuke's manor grounds. And hopefully break down the wall against physical closeness you build around yourself when he died. You never thought you would. When you kissed her under the moonlight, you silently prayed. //please don't think about him. don't make me think of him, make me forget about him, please// [[She was beautiful, and brilliant, and her laugh was amazing.]]

Oh and on top of it all, you're a hero. Not many people know what really happened, during the run. But those who do form almost a family of their own. [[Lucy becomes your best friend. She visits you in Japan a lot. She's doing well, considering. Sometimes you sail all the way to America just to wander with her by the Atlantic ocean and cry.]]

You ask her questions about if you made the right choice. She's reassuring, but you know she can't answer them. And besides, she shuts down if you press her too hard about that last leg of the race, and what she saw in New York when it all ended. She tells you where the corpse is, though. Which you're grateful for, but the temptation at times to use it for him is staggering. You take a lot of long walks by the ocean, even in Japan. [[anyway, time passes.]]

You know where to find the corpse. [[And when George II gets sick, you know what you have to do.]]

[[You summon Tusk, and you wait.]]

[[you feel the sickness enter you]]

[[When Rina gets sick, you think to yourself "I deserve this."]]

soon, you'll see him again. you think that in spite of yourself. [[some things just never leave you]]

[[so you let yourself close your eyes]]

[[and you begin to dream]]

[[so you vow to yourself you'll make him proud of having taught you.]]

After the race ends, after everything has settled down enough for you to breathe again, you get on a boat to Naples. Sailors have a fear of bringing coffins across the ocean. A legend of corpses coming alive again, losing their bodies, and beheading sailors in rage. You weren't listening too closely when they told you. You knew a bribe would erode any resistance. Which it did. That and the spin keeping the coffin in place. A last resort option you're glad you took. . When Gyro doesn't come alive again after you set sail, you almost laugh at yourself in amazement at your sadness and disappointment. [[It was, after all, just a silly legend. But you've seen stranger things than vampires.]]

You meet Gregorio at the pier. He's just as imposing as Gyro described. He doesn't cry when you show him the casket, or when, on your carriage ride back to his home, you tell him how Gyro died. [[You get the sense that he forgot how to cry a long time ago.]]

He lets you know that Marco did get his freedom eventually. And then died. [[(at least Gyro never had to hear that news.)]]

The two of you carry Gyro's coffin in a wooden cart led by two quarterhorses, beautiful bay mares. Gregorio never tells you their names. He's far too serious for small talk. In your head you decide to name them //Pizza// and //Mozzarella//. You hope that wherever Gyro is (if there is anywhere else, or another dimension, or a place the Corpse takes you when you die, or just some other iteration on this reality where the two of you are sharing a cart but he's alive and singing -) [[anyway. you hope it makes him smile.]]

after you bury Gyro in the family plot, Gregorio will be going home to...somewhere. He refuses to tell you where. You're struck with a deep and sudden grief at that - you want to stay with him as long as possible, come back home to his family, never go back to America - become his son, after a fashion, and, and, and, [[let the universe repair itself around the void that was left when Gyro died.]]

staring out the window sadly at the unfamiliar countryside, you watch the candle by your bedside burn out. the darkness makes the night sky gleam with stars. you see the wisps of a distant galaxy. it fills you with such longing that you fall to your knees and cry. [[if you could just jump into the hole in a spiral, if it could spit you out somewhere closer to where he is now.]]

Gyro - this Gyro - the one you wound up with, in the end - wraps his arms around you in the middle of the night, puts his head on your chest, holds you close. Gyro - your Gyro - the one you went on the race with, who - [[who died -]] never used to do that.

[[It was one thing the both of you agreed on, at first. You'd share a bed, sure, but when it came time for sleeping, you'd go your separate ways.]]

[[This lasted up until Sugar Mountain.]]

You two had spent the entire day giving away everything you had gotten from the tree, and fought a few battles besides. At the end of the day you were exhausted, and exhilarated, and happy to be alive in your body - so when Gyro went to move to his bed in the hotel, you wrapped your arms around him and pretended to be asleep. [[obviously he knew you weren't asleep.]]

[[you knew he wasn't asleep either]]

but he, protecting the fiction, held you until your eyes closed and your breathing stilled. Leaning down, he kissed you on the forehead. He said something you couldn't quite hear but it sounded sweet and you meant to ask him what it was when you woke but then [[life got in the way]]

[[protecting the body]]

the sky is an ocean, each star a grain of sand, another world. Somewhere another you is staring back. Somewhere another him is beside you, holding you close. Somewhere another you yawns and says he's tired. Somewhere another him pats the space in the bed beside him. [[who knows what tomorrow will bring. there could be another, out there, that you could love even half as much.]]

[[but tonight the bed is cold, and you are alone.]]

[[and you begin to dream]]