You come upon the wizard of the hill and dale who immediately decides YOU SHALL NOT PASS and kills you with radiant light and wizardry spectacular! You are resurrected back at the [[fields|fields]].
You chuck a stone and the hawk is immediately defended by that raptor you did not see. Clever girl. Resurrected back before you just recklessly threw stones at harmless birds in the [[woods|woods]].
You have been asleep for too long! You are Thunder Gunderson! [img[bkh_bc_header2.jpg]] You roam the hills of Toledo and are made of 92% unicorn, 2% snacks, 2% technology, 2% ambient light and an undeterminate amount of something else! Either way 100% awesome! You have a sweet cabin on edge of hills and dales and a dark forest with your own windmill and You are thirsty and You are going to quench that thirst! How will you quench it!?!?\n\nDrink some of the last [[batch of homebrew|homebrew]].\n\nDrink some [[water|water]].
Once in the dark woods you realize you are being watched by the piercing eyes of a hawk high up in the branches. The hawk swoops down while you quickly [[chuck a stone|chuck a stone]]. No [[wait|wait]]!
Dry hop that junks yo! After another week, crash cool that junks and get that kegged! Hurry up and call the wizard! Call the townsfolk! Enjoy the brew!\n\nThunder Gun, the beer:\n\n13 lbs 8.0 oz Pale Malt (2 Row) US (2.0 SRM)\n1 lbs 10.6 oz Rye Malt (4.7 SRM)\n8.0 oz Cara-Rye (175.0 SRM)\n8.0 oz Carafa III (525.0 SRM)\n8.0 oz Midnight Wheat Malt (550.0 SRM)\n0.5 oz Magnum - Boil 90 min\n1.0 oz Columbus - Boil 25 min\n1.0 oz Centennial - Boil 25 min\n1.8 oz Centennial - Boil 0 min\n1.8 oz Simcoe - Boil 0 min\n1.0 oz Simcoe - Dry Hop 4 days\n1.0 oz Centennial - Dry Hop 4 days\n1.0 oz Simcoe - Dry Hop 3 days\n1.0 oz Centennial - Dry Hop 0 days\n\nIn summation!\n\n[img[product_BREW_1.jpg]]
Adding the malt is step one. Time to let it rest and convert those sugars! Now bring it up to a boil (sparge if you want) and...\n\n[[Add that yeast|add yeast first]]!\n\n[[Add those hops|add hops now]].
You say hey man chill out. When the brewing gets tough the wizards get the brew! You gain +5 wizard influence! Using the wizard influence you ask him to use his power of wind and ocarinas to rotate the windmill and lower your precious hop bines for harvest! He obliges (anything for beer!) You gain +1 Columbus, +1 Centennial and +1 Simcoe! He disappears into the void of nothingness eternal, until the beer is ready that is. One final ingredient beckons before you can brew. Off to the [[forest|forest]] to find some yeast...
At the hop windmill you come across the hill and dale wizard! What a fiend! You [[must take your revenge|must take your revenge]]! Or just [[promise him some beer|promise him some beer]].
You leave the edge of the fields and dismount your mechaturtle harvester, coming upon the dark woods of demon trees. Using your 2% ambient light you enter the [[woods|woods]].
You add the the hops at the appropriate times. [img[product_WET_2.jpg]] \nIncluding the whirlpool and then ready to chill! [img[product_WHIRLPOOL_1.jpg]]\n\nTransfer to the fermentation tank and [[ready for that yeast|ready for that yeast]]!
The Making of Thunder Gun
Riding back up to the cabin back on your mechturtle harvester with a regal hawk named Fierce Eyes the Impaler on your shoulder you are ready to [[brew|brew]]! Before you get started you drink some [[water|water]] to quench your thirst from a day of travelling!
Where did you leave that barley? Oh right to the [[fields|fields]] you go.
The billions of live organisms begin their march toward gluttony! (and co2 and alcohol) Move on to the [[dry hop|dry hop]]! [img[product_DRY_1.jpg]]
You get up and go get some water from the tap. Walking while you drink your water you fall off of a cliff. You are dead. Go back to [[Start|Start]].
You quench that thirst hard yo! But oh goodness me that was the last of your last batch. YOU MUST REPLENISH YOUR SUPPLY. Time to go find some [[barley|barley]] for that malt business.
Instead of throwing the stone at the hawk you chuck it at the raptor watching you behind those ferns! The hawk lands regally on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. Using your 92% unicorn which lets you talk to animals (disregard those moans from that stupid raptor) you know that the hawk wants you to look in that old fallen log. Harking back to your viking ancestors who used to just drink anything out of a log you find some fresh yeast ready for fermentation! You gain +1 ale yeast (of your choice for flavor preference! Maybe start with a typical american ale yeast!)! Time to head [[back to the cabin|back to the cabin]] and get to work!
Have you learned nothing? His wizardry spectacular is just as strong as ever! You are turned into the void of nothingness eternal! You are resurrected back to the [[hop windmill|hop windmill]].
You leave the confines of your cabin and arrive at the fields! [[Find your scythe|find your scythe]] and harvest that grain!
You head down the hill to the stream and come upon a giant monster sea turtle! You quickly [[yodel|yodel]] or use your 2% snack to [[toss it a cracker|toss it a cracker]]!
The screams of literally a billion living organisms being thrown into hot water fills your mind with a great disturbance in the force. Try [[brew|brew]]ing again...
Time to brew folks.\n\nBring your mash tun to temp and...[img[product_MASH_1.jpg]]\n\n[[Add malt|add malt first]].\n\n[[Add yeast|add yeast first]].
Thunder Gunderson\n\nOf Barleyknewher.com
Where the heck did you leave that thing? Your 2% technology is twitching, time to [[check the stream|check the stream]] or make for the [[hill and dale|]]?
The beast appreciates the cracker and you use your 2% technology to ASSIMILATE THE BEAST! What luck, the scythe was under the turtle! On your new turtle harvester you HARVEST THAT GRAIN! You gain +1 pale malt, +1 rye malt, +1 cara-rye, +1 carafa 3, and +1 midnight wheat! Time to go pick some hops from the [[hop windmill|hop windmill]]!
You yodel at the beast and he crushes you underfoot! You are a mess! Literally! You are resurrected back at the [[stream|check the stream]]!